After visiting my JW mother i came away convinced she is just as hard core as she ever was. Oh, she may bend the rules a little in not shunning her children but at heart she is JW through and through. I had wondered if perhaps she was wavering but i doubt it.
During our visit, when i was out of the house, she had an attempt to inform my wife that the end was close...my athiest wife shot that down as nonsense much to mums apparent dislike i think.
However, it was while the TV was on in the backgound that i realized how deep she is still. The news story of moment was the failing U.S economy etc etc and i was a bit taken aback at her GLEE over it. I could have sworn she was about to clap in enjoyment as she proclaimed how ''rotten this system of things'' is.
And it occurded to me in that moment of sadness, that Jehovah's Witnesses NEED this sysyem as they love to call it, to be stinking rotten, because if it is not, then all is lost for them. They have been de-programmed on how to have a life. They need it to full of badness and wickedness, they revel in exposed coruption (other than their own), dance and sing in shear joy as riots break out and young men die in wars.
It backs up the long promised paradise as the only answer to every single miserable thing they see. If this system is all there is for them, they want to die. They almost can't wait to die to escape it, they live in perpetual suicidal mode.
My mother talked of if her long cured cancer returned she would do nothing. No treatment, nothing except palliative care and she would quite willingly, indeed happily die. Yet i was confused by her doged determination to stay healthy by popping dozens of herbal pills every day. It's like one side of the brain fighting the other.
My ex mother in law died yesterday even though she could have had longer i am sure, if she chose to have blood. Among the reasons for refusing it i have no doubt the desire to be in paradise was right up there. No more would she have to be in this rotten system of things, why as a faithful JW she can now sleep till the paradise. And all the mourners at her propaganda session funeral designed to bolster any slackers back to action will go away assured that she was faithful till the end and talk among themselves about how she will surely have a resurection...
Sad, very sad... Unable to live, waiting to die.