Cash-strapped Men turn Gay.

by ThomasCovenant 13 Replies latest social humour

  • ThomasCovenant

    MEN are turning to a life of carefree homosexuality to avoid the expense of wives and children, it has emerged.

    A sharp drop-off in the men's grooming market has been linked to heterosexual men growing the thick facial hair which they believe will make them enticing to other males.

    Civil engineer, Bill McKay, said: "With the economy unlikely to improve in the near future, there's no way I can afford nice dresses and designer chocolates, let alone the school uniforms and hefty tuition fees that are the eventual consequence of those bribes.

    "Alternately, if I bag myself a hairy builder then not only will he have no interest in Cath Kidston products, but also he can build my extension for free while we share interesting sport-related banter and laugh at the Peter Kaye jokes in Nuts magazine."

    He added: "I suppose we'd have to have sex at some point. I'd just see that as a healthy male challenge involving physical hardship, like kayaking."

    Craig Williams, 40, from Glasgow, said: "Financially I think gayness is really the way forward, plus men don't have all those emotions like women do.

    "And morally it's fine because apparently all my favourite action film stars are secretly homosexual.

    "But other than growing a beard I don't really know where to start. My friend said gays have a secret mating whistle that they do by blowing onto a celery leaf.

    "I think I'll just cut the arse out of my trousers and wander around until something happens.''

  • zoiks

    [Full disclosure: I have a beard and Mrs. Zoiks will not allow me to shave it, ever]

    Haha! The Daily Mash is a funny site. I liked this story:

  • Lore

    Wait, poverty causes homosexuals?

    Here all this time I thought it was masturbation, porn, sleeping on your back and watching Disney movies.

  • shamus100

    If you go gay, you double your wardrobe. Think about it. :D

  • watson

    Hmmmm, after reading this Topic, and Oompa's, I'm starting to feel confused...

  • watson

    Did you mean to say "Cash-strapped Men turn Gray"?

  • shamus100

    Come to me, Watson.

    I work out - I"m fit, slim, I'm straight skinny, but gay fat. 5'11, blue eyes, brown hair. Personal grooming beyond reproach. :D :D :D

  • watson

    I'm starting to like you Shamus....what does that mean???!! LOL.

  • shamus100

    We'll take it slow... a hug.. a kiss (no pun intended)... an innocent peck. We'll see how you feel after that. :D

    I think you know what it could mean. STAY TUNED. ** shamus, he turns straight men gay, like Mango ** ;D

  • shamus100

    Only mango is a fruit... ;D

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