I don't even know where to begin but I'm having trouble with my oldest son (grown) who just moved back home. He recently got fired and kicked out by his roommate because he has (in my opinion and the rest of my family) an alcohol and pot problem. He doesn't think he does because he can go days without either, a whole other story. He says that he drinks and smokes because he gets bored. Recently, he started smoking spice to stay away from the pot. When he got fired he was seriously depressed so we let him come stay with us temporarily. We suggested that to prove he doesn't have an alcohol problem, he should go the month of August without it, which he was able to for several days but he was still smoking the spice. I don't know much about spice but in my opinion the way it affects him is 1,000 times worse than the pot. Last night was horrible. He unloaded so many layers of pain that he has kept in all these years starting with being raised a JW. I can't change the way we raised him, thought we were doing the right thing, if I could go back and change things I would, yada yada yada. There were other non-witness issues brought up that made me stop and go "wow!". By the time I went to bed last night I was completely drained but I honestly feel that he has a mental illness. He reminds me of my brother that suffered from paranoid schizophrenia(sp) and so much of what my son was saying last night was like talking with my brother, who recently died due to his alcohol and drug use.
My husband and I are at a loss as to what we can do to help him. My other son says to let him leave, that he will have to hit rock bottom, tough love, etc. I honestly believe he has a mental illness and the drinking and smoking are side effects. My husband thinks maybe we should go to family counseling, which my son has reluctantly agreed to in exchange for leaving him alone for the next week and let him do what he wants. My husband has been harping on him the past couple of weeks to go get another job which is what set him off last night. He feels like we think he is a disappointment to us (claims we have told him that in the past), that we would be better off if he just disappeared and so many other statements like that.
Sorry this is long but I am desperate for any input.