Told my Parents about me joining the Military.

by lucky1rish 19 Replies latest social family

  • lucky1rish

    So, I'm back, and many of you wanted me to post the unfolding drama that is my life at the moment.

    Last week I came out and told my father that I was in the Navy, and was going to be trying out for Aviation Search Air Rescue. It's an extensive rate, and one that has a 40% failure rate among those who qualify. So needless to say, I do nothing but Run and Swim.

    Anyways, the reaction was what I expected. He went off the handle and "forbid" me to do it. Mind you, I haven't lived in that house for a few years at least. And when he realized my decision wasn't going to be reversed, he told me to "Have a nice Life." I saw him yesterday (a full week since the news) and he seems to be sticking by his decision not to talk to me. He only say, literally, two words to me.

    My mother took the news a bit better, although she also stated that I would "be giving up my entire family" ect, ect. And I told her that I'm not giving up my family, that I'd always be here, and be willing to be her son, and when the family pulls it's head out of it's ass that I'd still be here.

    Anyways, that is the drama that has ensued. My grandmother refuses to go to my wedding because I'm not marrying a "christian" woman. And now my parents are probably not going to be there either. oh well.

    I guess that means that I should just focus soully on the wedding and my PT. I already more than qualify for the program, but my SEAL mentor keeps saying that unless I'm down to SEAL times, then I'll never make it. So, I'm off to go run.

    Post a comment, question or whatever you like, and I will get back with you.

    Thanks for listening to my rant, any advice on how to handle the situation would be greatly appreciated.

  • skeeter1

    Good for you. I hope you the best in your new endeavor. Go out and have the best life you can have. Your family is toxic and sick, and under a mind controlled cult. You can't choose your family, but you can choose your life. Keep an open door for them to come to you.

  • Band on the Run
    Band on the Run

    Oh, the exquisite pain of the people who are supposed to shelter and support you abandoning you. Congratulations on being accepted into a distinguished and very important service. Navy uniforms always look the sharpest. May God be with you to protect you. This is the essence of what I went through when young. Every accomplishment or honor had to be hid. I was a candy striper and was forced to give it up b/c I still don't know why -control was the key. The larger community applauds you but love from family is nice.

    I believe the term is cognitive dissonance. We are trained that voluntary military service people are heroes; Witnesses call them scum. I believe the evidence shows that Christians both avoided and sought life in the Roman military.

    Maybe time and the reality of what you face may alter their behavior. My family never endorsed my exploits. I would be cramped over with despair but they looked the other way much to my surprise.


    Congrats on your decision. I know that it is hard with folks who are so confused about the NEED of a military to protect us from tyranny. The world is filled with dangers from home and abroad and our military is there to protects us.

    Perhaps when the chance to speak with your Dad comes up again, you can bring up Matt 8;10 when Jesus commends Cornelius, a Roman centurian, on his faith., an army officer, a man righteous and fearing God. As a matter of fact, Jesus, John the baptist and other prophets had plenty of opportunity to instruct those in the military to abandon their professions, yet it never happened once....go figure how the WTS came up with that one

    Let me be one of the first to say 'Thanks for serving!'



  • JeffT

    Thank you for your service. You've made a good decision. It is too bad your parents can't see that.

  • carla

    I also thank you for your service! Good luck with all the PT! I'm sorry your parents are jw's and are treating you this way, it truly is their loss. I know you are aware of how tight the Navy is as a family and how much support within there is, reach out when you need it. Many families would love to welcome you into their family with open arms. Will be thinking of you, carla

  • jaguarbass

    My son went in the Navy.

    I was out of the tower 11 years when he dropped the bomb on me.

    I didnt like it but I didnt let him know.

    I supported him 100%.

    Now hes got a masters degree and GI benefits and a good civilian career in medicine.

    Thats more than I got out of reading the Watchtower and Awake magazines.

    My mother being a witness never supported me in anything I tried to do that didnt involve selling

    magazines, I'm 59 years old and still pissed off at her for that.

  • lucky1rish

    Thank you everyone for your support! It's nice knowing that there are people out there that support the military.

    @ TTWSYF; you make a very valid point. I will definately bring that up to him, the next time I see him.

    @ Carla; I am very much hoping that the Navy has a close knit family. At least in the Spec. Ops I know that do, just one more reason why I'm fighting so hard to get into my Aviation Rescue. I am a firefighter and really don't want to loose that type of closeness with those I work with. I've worked for many other places and none of them offer that "home away from home" atmosphere.

    It does sincerly uplift me knowing that I have people who understand, and are supportive in my endeavors. Even if hardly any of them are blood relatives. Thank you all very much, and I will continue the update as time goes on.

  • moshe

    Congratulations on choosing a Military career. I often try to steer some x-JWs in that direction who need toughened up, so they can cut mommy's apron strings. Sounds like you have it figured out- good luck squid!

  • nugget

    you have made a positive choice and I wish you every success with your chosen career. For now focus on your relationship with your wife and your chosen vocation as these are your immediate concerns. As you told your family you haven't given them up they are the ones rejecting you so give them space to feel what that means. They are cult controled at the moment and have to reject people who leave the group they are not behaving normally or sensibly but trying to change their mind is a waste of emotion and energy when you need it for more important things.

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