Oh, you are a born-in. You had it easy!

by TotallyADD 38 Replies latest jw friends

  • sizemik
    Nope, no one that didn't grow up inside it all, can ever really get the whole picture of hurt.

    Hey Beks . . . what you say is essentially true. I raised three children from birth to teenage prior to leaving . . . so while I don't profess to have walked in anyone's shoes . . . I'm not totally ignorant of the born-in experience either.

    But what you say above applies to everybody. And that is my point. You can't compare your own experience to others simply because you can only live one of them yourself . . . do you see what I'm saying?

    That is the very mistake the ones who made the comment in the OP made . . . it can't be countered using the same thinking.

    And yet so many seem to want to quantify other peoples experience based on their own (or vice-versa) . . . which you can't do . . . you just can't.

  • still thinking
    still thinking

    for everyone who had anything to do with them and a hug

  • TotallyADD

    I go to bed and wakeup to find more of your great comments. This has really given me a feel of how everybody is feeling.

    Hortensia: Choosing to be happy and making it real I think is what everybody here on this forum is trying to do. I liken it to going on a very long trip. But you have all this baggage you are carrying. As time goes on you have to decide what baggage you no longer need. So you let go of it and leave in on the side of the road and forget about so your trip is easier and you have lighten your load. At the end of the trip you have a whole new prospective on life.

    Band on the Run: I remember the Cuban missle crisis as a kid. I thought I was going to die in a nuclear attack. And yes living with the idea that the big A is coming is like living through the Cuban missle crisis everyday. Good point.

    exwhyzee: I hated those CA experiences also where everybody is applauding a bad person becoming good while all of us who did nothing bad were ighored. Until someone wanted something then they walk all over you and took advanage of you.

    Berongaria: I think I am the tree with the bicycle in it. Good viual illustration. Be glad when that damm thing rust off.LOL

    EmptyInside: As a child I always wish I could have seen both sides but was told I didn't need to the WT has all the answers for you.

    sizemik: Thanks for the meaning of prat. Both my wife and I did not know.

    Awen: The human spirit is strong in us born-ins and converts. We will prevail in our exit form the cult.

    LV101: I think the book idea is great. I think I know someone who would love a project like that.

    Stillthinking: Thank You. I needed that. Take care.

    Again Thanks for all who have commented on this thread. Totally ADD

  • exwhyzee

    One thing I've found is that born-ins tend to be aless over the top about all the rules and doctirnes compared to a new convert. It was my experience that new converts often became fanatical and did the most damage especially if they wound up in positions of authority quickly. It was the new converts back in the days of the 1975 fiasco that often came into the religion because of that date and then ran with it. They often came in acting as if no one had done anything before they showed up.

    On the other hand, they had it easiest, in terms of returning to their former lives once reality set in. Born ins grew up feeling alienated from most of life and even felt superior to the world thinking that they possess the only truth and are the only decent people in existence simply because they learned from their leaders, to compare themselves to the worst examples out there.

  • TotallyADD

    exwhyzee: Amen to that last paragraph. Sadly I remember being like that. Totally ADD

  • sizemik
    On the other hand, they had it easiest, in terms of returning to their former lives once reality set in.

    Don't get me wrong . . . being born in to this religion sucks . . . but this is a fallacy.

    If you convert when you're 20 and leave when you're 50 . . . there is no "former life" . . . you've gone from a green youth to an aging man . . . the world has changed completely, and bears no resemblance to the one that existed 30 years ago . . . and the friends and family you ditched are nowhere to be found . . . your "former life" now belongs to someone else. It may be true for the brief visitors . . . but they are in the minority I believe . . . it most certainly is not true for me.

  • screwproof

    I have no idea where to post this question, so please excuse me for using this topic. I know without a doubt that I will be DFed or I may already be. My question is, can they DF me without meeting with me, or at least telling me it has taken place? I did tell a sister that I was now attending and a baptized member of another religion, is this all they need to DF me?

  • sizemik

    If the Elders become aware of what you told the sister . . . they might attempt to make contact to verify it . . . but may not. If you are attending another church, I'm pretty sure that qualifies as having abandoned your faith ie; DA'd yourself. They may well announce it simply that "screwproof is no longer one of Jehovah's Witnesses" . . . it has been done before. Depends a little on your congregation BOE.

    EDIT TO ADD: screwproof . . . feel free to ask the question in a new thread . . . just hit the "new topic" icon at the top and post it in this section

  • screwproof

    Thank you sizemik, I was just wondering about this because I encountered some witnesses in public the other day and they shunned me. My guess is they have probably already DFed me and thats fine, I am happy where I am now. I just feel it would have been nice of them to have informed me. :)

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