Apparently my mother-in-law invites herself to places…

by garyneal 10 Replies latest jw friends

  • garyneal

    Well, the District Convention of the Jehovah’s Witnesses (gosh I can’t believe I typed all that) came and went here in Hampton, VA and apparently our district is large enough to require two weekends at the coliseum to get everyone. My wife went both weekends. The first weekend, she went with some of her friends at her congregation on Friday and boy was she super zealous that evening, all ‘on fire’ and what-not, and talking about how good the talks were, etc.. She did not go the first Saturday or Sunday because her mom was coming to town the following weekend for the second convention.

    Her mom stays at our house and my wife goes all three days. Now my super zealous mother-in-law would not dream of leaving the convention in the middle of the day for she wants all her spiritual food. She is also the type that likes to make friends with others (someone my wife wishes she could be like). One of the people she talked to told her that they had a time share in Williamsburg and my mother-in-law’s response was, “Can I come?” Apparently, she does this a lot as this is how she gets invited to different places by the people she meets at these assemblies and conventions. While she technically does not really invite herself to these events, I can imagine how awkward it would be for someone she just met to respond. Saying no would appear rude and that’s just not how witnesses are supposed to roll, right? I suppose they could come up with a quick excuse if they wanted to say no and save face.

    Has any of you seen this kind of behavior at the conventions? Has any of you ever had someone, like my mother-in-law, ask out the blue to come over to your place or gathering? How have you responded and how has this made you feel? Perhaps this really does not go on very much at all and I am just blowing smoke.

  • serenitynow!

    Wow that is rude. But it probably serves the person right for bragging about their vacation home. Your MIL must not have been taught in childhood what I was, you wait to be invited somewhere you don't invite yourself.

  • garyneal

    Frankly, when I heard how my wife, kids, and mother-in-law got invited to a time share of another person that they met, I could not help but to wonder if that person was really expecting to have all these people over that Sunday night.

    I stayed home, I wanted the break and I really enjoyed my night of Star Trek flicks on Netflix.

  • rebel8

    Has any of you seen this kind of behavior at the conventions? Has any of you ever had someone, like my mother-in-law, ask out the blue to come over to your place or gathering?

    OMG, totally. The fundies here operate that way. Even as a little child I thought it was rude and humiliating to invite oneself, even though my jw mommie dearest would absolutely insist I was supposed to.

    I wasn't invited to lots of things, including being in several wedding parties when my entire social circle was in the party, just because I refused to invite myself. None of them hesitated to invite themselves.

    The fundies here kept saying the reason I wasn't involved in things more is because I didn't invite myself.

    Dubs are the rudest group of people I've ever met. People who are outgoing and/or charming in the beginning tend to get away with a lot more rudeness than others, and dubs are experts at "giving a good witness" and love bombing. By the time anyone realizes they're rude, they already like the dubs.

  • DesirousOfChange

    This type of thing is frequently true of pioneers and Bethelites (even former Bethelites) based on the principle of "gleaning":

    12/01/2003 WT -- "Jehovah arranged for the practice of gleaning. “When you people reap the harvest of your land,” God instructed, “you must not reap the edge of your field completely, and the gleaning of your harvest you must not pick up. Also, you must not gather the leftovers of your vineyard, and you must not pick up the scattered grapes of your vineyard. For the afflicted one and the alien resident you should leave them. I am Jehovah your God.” (Leviticus 19:9, 10)"

  • Broken Promises
    Broken Promises

    I think it's very rude and while I'm generous with my friends, I doubt I would let someone I barely knew invite themselves to my place.

  • highdose

    my ( worldly) family had a holiday home when i was in, that as a member of my family i would use.

    Can't tell you how many times i got JW's asking or just assuming that they could use it too! It didn't even belong to me, but to another member of the family instead, a worldly member.

    But that never stopped them and some got very offened when i refused. It was my familys right to resrict use of it to family members only, but still i had JW's saying to me " can't you explain that we are your spirtual family? and assure them that we are JW'S!" as if this ringing acolade would ensure them a cut price holiday!

  • Hortensia

    Bunch of users

  • CuriousButterfly

    There are many I know who invite themselves during the assemblies/conventions out to dinner. My thought is if they are that rude to invite themselves I can politely tell them no we have our group and reservations all set.

  • garyneal

    I see...

    So it appears that the secret is out concerning how Jehovah's Witnesses have all these 'spiritual' friends who 'look out' for one another. My MIL is a pioneer as she lives on disability and does not have to work for a living. Frankly, I find it fascinating that she can get around as good as she does and live off disability. But I digress...

    Apparently, she fits the mold of the overzealous pioneer who 'invites herself' to places and events of people she barely knows. She is about to head to another state where the need is great (ie. there are not enough publishers to cover their territories).

    Thanks everyone for your responses.

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