If you have sex with your spouse after you find out he/she cheated on you, you cannot divorce them.

by Chemical Emotions 24 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • Chemical Emotions
    Chemical Emotions

    In the Key To Family Happiness book, the WBTS says that if you have sex with your marriage mate after they cheat on you, and you knew it, you cannot divorce them.

    I was disgusted by learning that. I only discovered this recently, but I am very angry. What if your husand tells you that he'll keep screwing other women if you don't have sex with him? What if you were upset and confused and had sex with your wife after you found out she had been carrying on an affair with another man, perhaps for a sense of comfort and closeness?

  • wannabefree

    Resuming sexual relations with your spouse after discovering they had been unfaithful would imply forgiveness to the guilty mate. You can't hold an offense over someones head that you have forgiven them for. If, after forgiving, they cheat again, you have grounds again.

    ... oh ... and yes, you can divorce them, you just wouldn't have grounds to remarry unless they cheated again.

  • allelsefails

    Good example of made up rules with no scriptures to back them.

  • flipper

    CHEMICAL EMOTIONS- I agree- it was and is a very stupid rule in the Jehovah's Witness teaching. Like you state - A man OR woman might be cheating on their innocent mate , then profess to stop - but really is doing it still on the side while resuming to have sex with their innocent mate - while lying about the affairs.

    If a husband tried blackmailing his wife into sleeping with him and says he will see other women if she DOES NOT sleep with him- that man in my opinion isn't worth sleeping with. He's a manipulative swine who just uses women , including his wife. A wife should dump a louse like that . Anybody using sex as a manipulation to control somebody should not be allowed to have sex as they just don't get it. My 2 cents

  • JRK

    One loophole that they have, is if the mate later reveals another instance of infidelity that they didn't tell you about, you are scripturally free to seek a divorce . . . it's all bullshit anyway.


  • designs

    What if your spouse tells you during sex

  • Violia

    They have noting scriptural or legal to back up this rule that I know of .Some have challenged them on it. You are married until the divorce is final and if you and your spouse want to have sex until the day it is final, that is your business. Just another example of them making up rules that do not exist in the Bible or anywhere else. Usually if sex resumes it does indicate forgiveness but not always. Sometimes spouses who are divorced still have sex. the wts has forced a lot of couples to stay together just b/c they continued to have sex and they have no scriptural basis for this demand.

  • truman

    Yes, the sex-equals-forfeit of the injured mate’s ‘right’ to end the marriage is definitely the WT rule. It is not necessary for the scenario to be one of tacit blackmail (give me sex or I will cheat again) for the innocent mate to be screwed (in more ways than one) by this policy, however.

    Wouldn’t it often be the case that in such a damaged marriage, the innocent mate (for argument’s sake, assume it is the wife) is emotionally distraught, perhaps deeply worried about the future welfare of her very young children and her ability to care for them on her own, should she divorce.

    Because the family lives a WT style life, there is no money for the guilty mate (in this case, the husband) to move out, so they continue in the same home, trying to move their lives forward on a suddenly crumbling foundation. She does not want to break up her family, and her husband is begging for forgiveness. Yet, she is so hurt, and unsure that she can re-enter into the marriage with any sense of connection.

    It all hinges on a single sex act, since she is a JW. She cannot try and see if things can be repaired between them, while reserving the right to end the relationship, if they do not. She must decide to commit before she knows her own feelings or is sure of his sincerity.

    If she does what everyone is encouraging her to do and takes him back, even once, she is committed. If she later realizes that the marriage should have ended with the infidelity, then she becomes the home-wrecker, the guilty party, the one the elders condemn.

    It’s a shameful intrusion of corporate policy into one of the most painful and delicate marital situations that a couple can go through.

  • MrDarkKnight

    It gets better. If your mate witholds sex relations and you have sex with someone else you will get a pass by the elders if your are "repentant".

  • TheListener

    Remember the old days when Oral and Anal sex were not considered sexual relations and not worthy of allowing a divorce? What Pharisaical HorseCrap.

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