Update: I got the shun at my dad's funeral- the best outcome really!!

by Coffee House Girl 37 Replies latest jw friends

  • Coffee House Girl
    Coffee House Girl

    Hello all JWN

    So glad to have that over with- it was surreal to walk in the KH after two years...it is just a building to me now (not "Jehovah's House"). I must say that now I'm on the outside...what a boring sad building- the people were not joyful and friendly (just older and fatter than I remember)- I got the nervous stares and shaky "Hi" when I looked at all of them and said hello.

    My mom was sitting all by herself in the front row of the hall...I went and sat by her side. The service began with the usual 5 minute introduction & 20 min sermon complete with invitation to "come see any JW if you want to learn more". I wanted so bad to ask my nonJW relatives what they thought-

    The speaker was a brother who is my age (30's), and never really had a conversation with my dad ever in his life- when he spoke about the resurrection, he said that "these are the thoughts that my father entertained"- I tried not to laugh at that one...knowing how dad felt, I'm sure he found JW doctrine "entertaining" to say the least!

    When it got to the end we were invited to stand and sing "Life without end at last"- I looked down at my program- I put a picture of dad inside of the program next to the song...he rarely smiled so this was a pic of his usual stern face- he was looking back at me thru the picture as if to say..."what the hell are all these a-holes doing here???" I also had to fight back the giggles....I'm sure the speaker looked at me puzzed wondering why I had that scary smile/half laugh on my face.

    It was done, and everyone piled out of the KH to get to the food....my mom thanked me for comming and said I didn't have to go to the dinner if it made me uncomfortable (which really meant..."you will make everyone uncomfortable, and make them feel like they cannot eat with you because of scriptural decree)- so I took the hint and told her that I wanted to take my dog for a walk. My brother and I left together. My sister, brother in law, nieces, cousins never said one word to me- (I did have one aunt give me a hug, and I talked to my non-JW relatives..but that was really it)

    So now that is done & I can go back to grieving my dad in a somewhat normal way- I already miss him, saturday was the first week without seeing him (I would go home every saturday to see mom and dad, and walk the dog)

    I plan on inscribing the poem that the JWs made me take off the back of the program because they found it offensive onto a piece of wood and placing it next to his headstone....I will get my way, I will represent him the best I can, and all the JW's can just fu*k themselves if they can't take a joke-

    Thanks for your help all!


  • cult classic
    cult classic

    I'm sorry you lost your dad CoffeeHGirl,

    He would be really happy that you're memorializing him in your own special way.

  • blondie

    CHG, is my memory off, but you aren't df'd are you? There is no restriction about eating with an inactive jw.

    Oh well, a jw family member died this week. Service has been postponed because close family member (child of deceased) can't come till then. I'm not going as I have not gone in the past. It has been ten years, but they would not avoid eating with me.

    It's over now and time to spend with those who love you in a healthy way.

    Love, Blondie

  • shamus100

    Huge monkey hugs and kisses for you. You're so much better than they are - live your life happy and free now. F**k them. ;)

  • ShirleyW

    I have to honestly say that at my Dad's funeral at the KH, although I've never been dipped, the folks didn't ignore me, even when I stayed at mom's house during the week and they came to visit.

    However, I was just waiting for someone at my mom's funeral to pull that one on me (I vowed I would not have it in the KH) when they came up to greet the family after the service I was not ignored, but like I said in your other post, some said to "come back to Jah" , but just knowing myself I know if some of them came to my moms house when my dad died and they ignored me, I would've TOTALLY called them on it, that would've been disrepectful to my mother and that bogus cult they belong to that pretends to preach love, love, love. . .!

  • Quendi

    The hypocrisy of this cult never ceases to amaze me. While love-bombing would not have been appropriate, at least a friendly greeting and an expression of sympathy would have been. But no, the power of the cult prevented these jackasses from expressing simply human kindness and decency. Please allow me to extend my condolences on your loss.

    I can readily understand why your dad did not want a Witness funeral, and it was epitomized by the arrangements. Having a man give the talk who did not know your father was an insult. The falsehood he injected into it about your father's beliefs only compounded it. Had I been there, I would have boycotted the family meal as well. I don't think I could have kept my composure after that. At any rate, your father is at rest. I want to wish you every success from now on.


  • dgp

    My sympathies, Coffee House Girl.

  • man in black
    man in black

    Hi There, I'm sorry about your Dad, and that you had to deal with this ridiculous behavior .

    But, stay on the high road, do what you believe your Father would have wanted done.

    When the dust clears,the witnesses are no doubt expecting you to come crawling back to the kh but by following your own

    heart they will be surprised ( and confused) to see that you are a happy and stronger individual.

    By the way, (I'm sorry if this is out of line) could you post the poem that you like, and the jw's did not ?

  • Coffee House Girl
    Coffee House Girl

    Thank you cult classic! appreciate your sympathies

    Blondie- no I am not DF'd, but I suspect that after I sent the cease and desist letter (a copy did go to my bro-in-law who is COBOE)- they did put in a warning that I was dangerous and I've heard the expression before by JWs "they may as well be DF'd even tho it is not official". My mom did tell me that the elders have talked to her about stopping association with me

    Shamus- Ah I feel the love and the hot breath of monkey kisses... back at ya babe

    Shirley- Yea...I am suprised I didn't get a "come back to Jah so you can see him in paradise"- I would've shot back with a...well according to JW doctrine a man who did not give field service time to the org & was smoking wouldn't be resurrected so I guess I wont worry bout it-

    Quendi- ah thank you for your voice of reason, death is never easy for those left behind, and I know with time present wounds will heal- and Dad would want me to move on with my plans- he told me not long before he passed that he could sleep now with a smile on his face knowing I was happy....aah thats the way a parent is supposed to feel-


  • LV101

    So sorry for your loss of your father and the affects of the sick religion (they are such a pathetic evil to society) but you are strong and have the opportunity to embrace a beautiful life. Best to you.


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