My life so far ......

by Dudu 17 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Dudu

    Where should I start?? Maybe by saying than Im still in the organization, but I have stopped going to meetings since the Distric Convention. My story is as follows, as far as I remember my mom was studying with the JW , since I was born I was attending meetings , going in field service and being “different” I am the youngest, and my siblings were teenagers when my mom was studying, so , none of them embraced “the truth”.

    I got baptized at 10 and since then I don’t remember my mom going to the meetings constantly, but , she always sent me and pushed me to go out in field service. She has been inactive for almost 15 years but she always reads the magazines and all the recent books and brochures, she only attends to the memorial once a year, goes to my niece’s birthday parties , but still she wants me to follow all the JW rules ……… Yesterday we had a fight coz I ve been going out with friends Saturday night , and not going to meetings , she asked me , so? Are you not going to meetings anymore? I said, you haven’t for 15 years, she said, I am old and im sick (kind of true , but she doesn’t make any effort either). I am dating a good guy who isn’t a JW and now she thinks all my changes has been because of this , I ve been trying to explain to her about all the things the WS has been wrong about but she just doesn’t listen.

    I am heartbroken now coz I don’t want to hurt my mom but I want to live!!!!!! Experience things and not feel the pressure because of a decision I made been so young ….. I have so much to post as ive been 22 years in the Org by now… that’s for later .

  • Found Sheep
    Found Sheep

    GOOD for you! This is a first step! 15 years inactive? I think it's just going to take her a little time. Till then live your life!Best of luck FS

  • Mad Sweeney
    Mad Sweeney

    You can't live for other people and find any contentment. You have to live your own life. She is programmed not to listen to anything negative about the organization. It is called cult mind control. It is sad what it does to families. Sorry you're having a hard time right now but you have to do what's right for you and you don't owe anyone any explanation.

    Good luck. You're not alone.

  • Dudu

    Thank you for the support .... I am 32 years old, single, and i feel so lonely sometimes, i have seen this " spiritual " gilrs, leading a double life and then getting married with bethelites , after that they are saints :P yeah sure! Anyways, i dont like all the double standards, like this ex-elder who got married and after 2 years he came out of the closet (gay) ... Im so dissapointed about the boys in the organization!! They show to be one thing when they really are somthing else

  • Gayle

    Wow,,it does amaze me to hear of ones that don't really live the JW "Program" still will emphatically tell others to do so.

    It is amazing you did do "the Program" all those years without your family involvement. Shows you had a type of independency, so obviously you, none the less, have inner strength. Now, you have to go all the way with your inner strength and push toward your own free mind and heart.

    Your mom means well, but she has never been truly informed of JW reality, and she has never experienced JW reality. She bought the "Program" but never has used it. She thinks it works but you know it doesn't. It is a scam.

    So many best wishes for your freedom for the rest of your life.

  • Dudu

    Thank you Gayle , and you are right, I have inner strength!!! I havent thought about it ..... I am trying to find peace, I am living with my mom coz she needs me but i will be moving in few weeks and she will stay with my sister. I work full time and im also starting a new bussiness , so , I ll be very busy :) My mom is a very special lady but she likes to manipulate people, specially me coz im the youngest, i know she means no harm, and wants to protects me from all the dangers but that is not real life, i must go out and see for myself ...

  • Diest

    Us boys on the outside are much better...It is not easy to be a guy on the inside when all the 19 year old girls get snatched up by the 30 year old guys. I didnt want to marry young, but if you wait there arent many women who have not been married once before.

  • Dudu

    Yeah,but also marriage is discourage ... i was a "good girl" , modest clothing,helping old ppl, pioneering sometimes ........ still no one saw me :(

  • hellenback

    The trouble is all the fit young girls want a spiritual man which jw wise they usually are. What the women usually end up with are p**sy whipped mummies boys who cant iron, clean, cook and have never beeen away from mummy for more than 5 mins. These young bros or 30 y olds have been reaching out to be and ms or elder because the silly girls think that if he's spiritual he will look after them. How wrong many of these Girls have been. Ending up with a man who can barely look after himself she basicly takes over from mummy only she has to offer her wfely duties (boring missionary only unless he used to be in the world ) pregnant bored and stuck with a spiritusl but deadbeat man cleaning windows. The only experience he can bring to a relationship is whats written in magazines and books.

  • hellenback

    Sorry DUDU a bit of a rant there welcome to the forum and dont worry you seem intelligent and grounded you will be fine

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