My 1st post -- after being out for 10 years...

by gonzo2k 26 Replies latest jw friends

  • gonzo2k
    gonzo2k

    So, I'm new to the site lurked around for a week or so now before signing up. I'll try to keep this first post short. Just looking to make some connections with others that have been thru similar life experiences and help out anyone that feels empty and alone after leaving the "organization"

    A little about me: during my years as a born-in I spent a few years as a Pioneer, MS and Account Servant (so I know a little about how those finances work ). I was never really into the "truth" as a young person and looking back I probably should have left when I reached adulthood. But, I hung around just long enough to come under increasingly stronger pressure to "enjoy" more and more privileges. I guess I continued fooling myself and everyone else that I was strong and kept getting "promoted" as time went by. My father was an elder and former pioneer himself which is where alot of the pressure came. He's not either now, but still calls himself a witness. He did not compeletly shun me after I was DF'd 10 years ago (at the age of 27), and things have never been the same. To me it's all for the best as I was physically abused as a child. A child of a single parent who was abusive and short-tempered but hypocritically called himself a "true" christian. I think I managed to grow up as well-balanced as possible, in spite of it all.

    I think I'll stop there for now, it's starting to bring back some of the bad memories of my youth. I'm looking forward to sharing the things that have been bottled up all these years... but I think I should pace myself. I think that's why I finally started looking around on the internet for groups of people such as this. It's time to complete the healing process after all those years of wasted youth.

  • poppers
    poppers

    Welcome to the board; you will find lots of support here.

  • mummatron
    mummatron

    Hey there! A warm welcome to you.

    Just looking to make some connections with others that have been thru similar life experiences and help out anyone that feels empty and alone after leaving the "organization"

    There's quite a few of us who have been through similar experiences to what you've mentioned. I myself have suffered at the hands of a short-tempered and abusive parent.

    I'm looking forward to sharing the things that have been bottled up all these years... but I think I should pace myself. I think that's why I finally started looking around on the internet for groups of people such as this. It's time to complete the healing process after all those years of wasted youth.

    You will find it very healing. I've been out for almost 12 years (officially DA'd for 10 years) and am finally able to let go of my hurts. Just letting it all out on here in my opening post was very cathartic and has helped me to move on from years of mind-control and guilt.

    Looking forward to hearing more from you.

  • leavingwt
    leavingwt

    Welcome!

  • Diest
    Diest

    Welcome Gonzo....it takes a long time to get to the point where you can look at the information that the WT tried to scare you away from. It took me almost 7 years from when i stoped going to meetings before I would really look at information that sites like this one provide. There are a lot of great people, many of whom have shared similar expierences. Let the healing begin/continue.

  • snowbird
    snowbird

    Welcome!

    Your healing has begun ...

    Blessings.

    Syl

  • moomanchu
    moomanchu

    It took me about 10 years to untanlge the Watchtower from my brain.

    But I did it... f you Watchtower!!

  • factfinder
    factfinder

    Welcome gonzo2k!

    It's strange the thoughts, feelings, etc. you feel after being away a while. Next month will be 6 years for me- I just stopped going and the cong has ignored me ever since. I don't know what I believe anymore. I am overwhelmed sometimes learning how really cultish and like autamotons the witnesses really are, my jw brother is fully devoted to the "slave' and cut off communication with me a year ago this month.

    I feel bewildered at times, other times-it seems like nothing I discover about the witnesses surprises me anymore.

    My brother and I both gave up the Jewish religion and chose to become witnesses. I feel my life has been ruined by the 30 years in that cult.

    I'm glad you decided to post!

  • gonzo2k
    gonzo2k

    Thanks to all for your kind, welcoming words. It feels good to get so much feedback so quickly!!

    To mummatron, I actually noticed a couple of your posts already and wanted to jump in on one of them, but I thought it's better to make a little introductory post first.

    And to factfinder, I'm sure it will be interesting to hear your experiences coming out of the Jewish faith, since as you might have noticed, JW doctrine kind of portrays jews in a bad light... almost looked down upon at times. Which to me is not healthy, but it goes along with the elitist view that is engendered by the JW organization... better than everyone else.

  • Botzwana
    Botzwana

    Yes Welcome to the board...This board has helped me SO much. I left recently. Last November. I even came onto this board a year before that trying to witness here....LOL....After feeling so angry at a WT telling me to do more even though I was a piosneer I came onto this board and started reading. I discover new things here everyday.

    The society lied to us so I have no problem lying to them. I have faded but give them the impression I am attending in a foreign language.

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