I'm angry and scared

MoodyBlue

I've been out of the witnesses for a year...and in that span I've become more of a skeptic towards any sort of religion or God. I don't know if I will ever again have faith in a supernatural, all loving and powerful being. I suppose this is because the only God i really know anymore is Jehovah of the watchtower- who to me is nothing more than a jealous, angry and vindictive creature. Whenever I attempt to read the Bible, I get extremely angry- and throw out questions that no one can answer. The thing is though, now, I fear death. I fear getting old. I fear eternal punishment for the way I am now choosing to live my life ( which is purely for ME.) Will this ever go away?? Will I ever be able to undo the brainwashing that was done???

JT

your exp and views are shared by many here

i would suggest that before you "JOIN" some other Belief System

you give yourself time to reflect and ASK all the questions you want about god, religion , the bible, the whole 9 yards

you are now free to ask any question you want to and you don't have to accept any answer under the Threat of Death if you don't agee with someone

i will say this when you look at all beleif systems they all share the same common view be it muslium christain, or whatever

1. We got the inside tract to god and we are more than delighted to show you how to get on that track, BUT ..........

2. if you don't beleive as me -- my god will kill you

3. this imperfect man or woman is the one that god is working thru and you Really Need to listen to what they are saying if you want god's approval

with these as the basic foundation of almost all known belief system

YOU CAN start to see the problem that they pose

at most you will get an interpetation and it will vary as much as you and i change underclothes- smile

they are all OPINIONS OF SOME MAN OR WOMAN

for everyone who accepts thier opinions there are others who don't

that is the naTURE OF ALL BELIEF SYSTEMS

give yourself time to heal
my only advice is don't rush into any belief system till you have given yourself time to heal and get a sense of directions

you and i and others literally are coming out of a dark room after years of being confined and we walk into the Bright sunlight
and it will hurt your eyes

and right now the sun is hurting your eyes. but they will adjust in time

just my 2

drahcir yarrum

MoodyBlue:

I would guess that most of the exJW's who post here have gone through the feelings you are going through now. Each of us has our own story of how our search for a replacement belief system led us to where we are.

In the first few months after realizing that the WTS wasn't the truth, I searched for truth about "God" in mainstream Protestant religion. I met really nice people there, but my search for a higher power wasn't satisfied. Over the years (18 since I left the WTS), I've become less interested in trying to identify a transcendent power and become more interested in being true to myself. One thing you must remember as you seek your own direction is that it is your own. That's the best part. The freedom to investigate all avenues of spiritual inquiry or no avenues of spiritual inquiry, without a trace of guilt. Freedom is a beautiful thing.

"Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life son." Dean Vernon Wormer, Faber College

ofcmad

Hey - I really empathize with ya!
The fears you experience are natural when someone is ripped out of a cult or disassociates themselves from one. You have to almost learn a new way of life. Yes! God gives you a conscience and allows you to have free will. You have to learn to trust in yourself and your decisions. The Jehovah of the Watchtower is not the God I love now. (I beleive in orthodox chrisitianity.) You will also have to learn that NO ONE can give you all the answers. If they can, then they are a cult, or liars. NO ONE can know all there is to know about God. Religion is not the way to God. Jesus said that He was the WAY, the TRUTH, and the LIFE. He never said that he would have a religion that would be the Way , the "TRUTH" or the Life. Your fear of death stems from their constant teachings of death without the Watchtower. Trust me, I KNOW!! I've been out for 7 years, (I was born and raised in the WBTS), and still struggle with this issue. The difference is from the beginning to now, I know why I feel this way, and know that GOD knows that I was religiously abused. I know that He understands and loves me regardless. Time really does help. And although you will never forget, you will have to learn to cope.
By the way, when I left, first I felt angry, then scared, and now, I feel pity. It's literally a greiving process you will go thru.
If I can be of any help, let me know.

ofcmad

"Noah was a drunk and look what he accomplished." The Metatron/ Dogma

JT

One thing you must remember as you seek your own direction is that it is your own. That's the best part. The freedom to investigate all avenues of spiritual inquiry or no avenues of spiritual inquiry, without a trace of guilt. Freedom is a beautiful thing.

#############

Truly a powerful post

well stated

ISP

Its fairly natural to feel like you do. Most of us have been there. I would be careful not to get suckered into any religious belief system...just because you have these fears. I take the view that you have to accept aging and death. They generally give you time to get used to the idea! In the meantime you have to enjoy life!

ISP

DakotaRed

One thing I have discovered outside of the WT is that you don't really need religion. God never declared any religion, other than the Jews, as his chosen. And, he wrote them off, did he not? Don't be afraid of the Bible, but do yourself a favor and read other translations. Compare them and seek what it really says, not what someone else says it does.

As far as getting old, not to worry. We all go through that. I'm at 53 and find that it is less fearful as I get older. Besides, nothing we do can stop it. My Dad died when he was 54, so that could be controlling me right now.

I still don't buy a literal burning hell. I see that as scare tactic of religion to control the masses. Of course, I hope the resurrection is true. I would like to live again, in a decent earth. But, if it doesn't happen, then what is the difference?

I guess what I am trying say is not to worry. Worry is a useless emotion. All it does is eat you up inside. Instead of worry, show concern and act on what bothers you. Instead of throwing out questions you can't get answered, write them down and seek answers. Seek in the Bible, books, other trusted people, whatever. But, seek the answers. Accept what you believe to be true and ignore the rest.

Just remember, the only stupid question is one you have and won't ask. Post some here if you like and see what answers you get. Then, as I said above, listen to the ones that make sense and ignore the rest.

But remember, most answers are nothing more than opinions. We all have them and will gladly share.

If God's Spirit is filling a Kingdom Hall, how is it that Satan can manuever the ones within that Kingdom Hall at the same time?

qadreena

i believe that every man (or womans) religion is in their own hearts, i followed a pagan path out of my own choice but only after 4 years of being against anything remotely religious then another 6 years of looking into any reigion that interested me, really got into buddhism for a bit but realised after all it wasnt for me

now i live my life the way i want to - i still uphold certain things i learnt from the witnesses, mainly practical things and also practice buddhist type meditation, i basically do what i believe is right for me

xxx angel xxx

William Penwell

Stop looking externally to find God but look inside yourself. You are a whole and complete person and no one or anything can make you more complete than you all ready are. Once you discover this than you can begin to look for a belief system that will fulfill your needs.

Will

"I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkey's."
Mark Twain

moman

This may sound a bit corney, but LIFE IS AN ADVENTURE...LIVE IT!
I sometimes fall in my old Dub way of thinking & this helps get me out of it!
The Borg tells you to put off lifes enjoyments & be a slave, so do the opposite, enjoy life & refuse to be anyones slave!

I'm angry and scared

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