At least married couples have each other - single exJWs have no one to keep them company.
My wife and I are lonely....I know too bad....
Even as a couple, it was a lonely start when we suddenly found ourselves apparently friendless.
We started by contacting non JW family whom we rarely saw other than at weddings and funerals, and began visiting them and inviting them to visit us, so we were able to develop a close relationship for the first time in our lives. That was a very joyful time!
Then we began making friends of our OWN choosing instead of those who were deemed "suitable company" as was the case during our growing up years in the organisation. Once our children started joining in normal activities at school, we quickly became friends with other parents, and even "worldly" people in the neighbourhood we would only say hello to in passing suddenly became friends when we let our guard down! Also, persuing our hobbies and joining clubs brought more friends. Within a few years we had a rich circle of friends and family that we would never have thought possible, and have never looked back.
Tonight I met a whole new network of people, from all walks of life, who share a common interest ...... fishing. Something I happen to be into.
I'm picking I'll be roped in to tidying up the club grounds and getting rid of the rooster next week.
Invest time in each other, and begin to expand your interests, alone and as a couple. It just takes time, and you need to be pro-active. You can and will find real people who like you for who you are, not for the amount of hours you invest in the WTBTS. All the best to you both.
"Have you tried shorten in g your 'name'? That's a doozy! LOL"
Hahehehah...You can call me "itsi" for short, hahah
Thank you all for your encouraging comments. It is a funny thing how posting your thoughts seems to bring comfort when in reality it is obviously the actions you take yourself that will change the situation. I once posted an obscure bible question which I was just sure I had the answer to and was "handed my _ss" by Leolaia a poster on this site. Some of his or her thoughts may have been verifiable and a few not but I derived enough doubt about the subject that it was a revelation. ( I think the poster was right on so many levels that it didn't even matter anymore) But the real lesson it taught me was that the truth about many of the spiritual things we've been focused on most of our lives are still a matter of interpretation and best guesses in many cases. I so appreciated learning that lesson. I know this is off post in subject, but how can we just go our merry way and not seek a relationship with some higher power? How can we just stop being students? In the book, 30 years a WT slave the writer commented on the scripture Romans 8:20,21 "glorious freedom of the sons of god". I had thought about that scripture over and over again after leaving the WT prior to reading his comments and then to see it again was an real affirmation that we are all realizing a dream, the actual dream of Romans 8:20,21 we are truly free.... thanks so much for taking the time to answer or comment everyone, this has just been a really difficult time in my life these last 6 months. And lastly anyone who actually typed my name out without copying and pasting it, you have a special tenacity which will take you far in this life. hahah
Love and peace to all of you.
It is my experience not having been raised a jw, that there is an artificial feeling of having lots of friends and lot's of social life in the org. but the reality is that most people except for certain times like maybe high school don't really know that many people well. When we first became jw's we thought wow we have alot of friends but easy come easy go they just had to pretend to like us.
Now that we have left it's back to reality we're too off beat for most people even as witnesses we were too weird but they included us because they had to. We thought we didn't have friends before but now with the x-jw under our belts we really seem strange to people.
It's a fantasy to think that you will be surrounded by lot's of caring friends, you can acquire some acquaintances for a little company and entertainment but that's what it is. Human beings have a somewhat singular existence especially in the world we live in now it's hard to find others with similiar interests since there's alot of different things to be occupied with.
2) Find a Church
3) Enroll your kids (do you have kids?) to Church activities
These are the obvious things to do to build friendships with other wholesome associates. Yet, someone who is attempting a "fade" cannot do it, lest it be the excuse to take DFing action against them. Then they would end up cut off even more from family and (the few remaining) friends.