My situation

by outsmartthesystem 25 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  jwfacts

  One vitally important point to make her fully conscious of is why she believes it is the truth. She does not know the doctrine too well, yet is satisfied to accept it is the truth. That sounds like most people from most religions. In other words, she believes it is the truth because she was raised as a JW. You can subtly make that point in numerous ways and occassions.

  For example, when watching the Mormon documentary it would have been a perfect opportunity to ask, "if you had been raised a Mormon, would you believe that was the true religion?" It will create some internal discomfort that will then always play on her mind when she is hearing things that make her question the organisation.

  I also recommend telling her you do not want her discussing Armageddon with your children. It is traumatic and not suitable for children. It is shocking for them to have to contemplate destruction of such a nature. That will make your wife think about Armageddon and can then lead to the conversation that it is not logical for your children to have to think all their friends will soon be killed by God just because their parents are raising them to believe in a different religion.
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  Billy the Ex-Bethelite

  outsmartthesystem,

  My suggestion, if you want to "outsmart the system", involves repackaging your questions into a "ministry" box, rather than the "apostate" box. It has worked rather effectively for me. For example, rather than saying that I think the WT stand on blood is false, I have said that I "witnessed" to a coworker that raised some excellent questions about our beliefs. If you plant some of these things with your wife, and allow her to speak to her father, they will feel a huge responsibility to research and answer, rather than shut-down and dismiss it as apostate.

  For me, if the dub I challenge with such "ministry" based questions isn't quickly forthcoming, I tease them with the response that I should tell the questioner that I'll come back with an answer, but never return. That doesn't work if you work with someone that raises a good question and you see them everyday. And for me, I've often used the response that for everything Watchtower prints, that's one of the questions they completely avoid.

  And this isn't lying. In Watchtowerland it's called "untruthing", which is perfectly okay.
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  outsmartthesystem

  Thanks JWFACTS: I must admit that your information has been SO helpful to me these past 8 months

  Billy - I like your approach but it is a little too late for that. When I mentally shut off about 5 years ago...I went through a stage of angst. I pretty much admitted to my wife that I thought religion as a whole was crap. I haven't been out in service in 5 years and my wife knows it is because I don't believe the JW teachings. She knows I wouldn't be witnessing to anyone. So anything I bring up she knows is either something I've read, or something I've conjured up in my mind

  I really dug myself a hole with my initial reaction 5 years ago
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  outsmartthesystem

  I forgot to mention....another strike against me is that my father was technically a baptized witness before he died. He fell away after the "generation" teaching in 1995. Not only did he fall away but he became disinterested in religion/God. AND he became extremely incensed at the witnesses. The presiding overseer......elders.....circuit overseers tried to come talk to him and with every last one of them....he verbally shredded them and made mincemeat of JW doctrine. Yet....he was never DF'd.

  My wife looks at that and says "well, geez. If your dad wasn't DF'd then why would you be? Therefore there is no reason you shouldn't want to talk to my dad or the other elders".

  To which I could respond with "yes but I know of hundreds of JW's that HAVE been DF'd for disagreeing". And she would say "who?". And I would say "well....I met them on websites". "Apostate websites, right?" "Yep".

  And she would say "well they're lying. they're all apostates led by the devil and they are making up lies to trick you".

  So yeah....this whole thing with my dad makes things even more difficult. My wife truly doesn't see how ugly this could be. She truly thinks the elders are there to be loving and tender helpers.....and would be appalled to think that their number 1 priority is to be loyal to the borg.
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  Black Sheep

  To which I could respond with "yes but I know of hundreds of JW's that HAVE been DF'd for disagreeing".

  No you wouldn't. You know it would be a mistake to say that and give the reasons.

  Over the past five years you have been throwing yourself at their wall and getting nowhere. Learn from it.

  Every trick they taught you from the platform to identify the enemy, they are using to ID you. Stop setting off their warning bells. Sneak under the wall, over the wall, look for holes in it.

  Your problem is that, like me, you tried to tell her stuff that you thought she should know and that would wake her up and get her out. It just doesn't work. It just polishes her skill of blanking out what she doesn't want to hear. The longer you do it, the better she gets at it. Mine is an expert.
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  mrquik

  I feel all the more repulsed by the WBTS when I read posts from those of you with wives & young children still in. I still have one adult daughter in, but as she lives out of state we rarely communicate. There is no one answer that works in these heartbreaking situations. I can only speak for myself in saying that life has gotten better. Its been 4 yrs. I no longer avoid old friends. I say Hi & watch them skulk away. It has quite a theraputic affect. I attended a memorial service. Sat up front & smiled at everyone. I pass the Hall every week & feel pity for those people wasting their lives. Mennonites ride by the Hall in their buggies on their way to their own private Hell. They should all get together for tea. Anyway, bottom line: Live Well...Enjoy Life.