Why not leave?

by ifonly789 17 Replies latest jw friends

  • ifonly789
    ifonly789

    I've noticed on my brief time on these forums that there seems to be quite a few that have serious doubts about the org or know of all the lies etc of it but still go to meetings or even still serve as a MS or elder.

    I'm just curious as to why you still bother going? No offense meant here...I'm not being all judgemental like typical JWs but am curious. I'm guessing a lot of it is down to not wanting to break up the family or losing relatives etc.

    I had my doubts whilst in but I only learnt the truth about the org once I left and it has been strengthened by reading COC.. I was also lucky that my wife had even more doubts than me so as a family we left together. I can't imagine having to still go to DCs and KH knowing what I know now (and I'm sure theres alot more I will learn as time goes on) So how do you manage and why..

    Looking forward to your comments

  • Billy the Ex-Bethelite
    Billy the Ex-Bethelite

    Family and friends. Leaving Bethel left me with no money, no connections, no plan, no direction. It's taken me time, but I'm ready to leave and walk into a fabulous, new, free life.

  • RagingBull
    RagingBull

    Well, Ifonly, it seems that you were super-lucky. For many of us it is not as easy. You have the "DREAM SITUATION". So, you can imagine...but you cannot really "relate" to many of our situations. Why go? Well...if you don't, members (Elders, C.O.s, spouses etc) will question your reason for not going. They will ask if you still BELIEVE that this is the TRUTH. Careful how you answer this question. Any signs of disloyalty...you risk being labeled an apostate and DF'd. Many in the cong. will assume you're "read off" for immorality, but eventually everyone will know you are an "Apostate".

    They will ASSUME that you "Don't want to serve Jehovah (which really they should say the GB) anymore" and no matter what you feel about Jehovah or Jesus Christ...it will not matter b/c no one will talk to you to get your say on the matter. They will not want to hear anything you have to say about spiritual matters at all.

    Your spouse can leave you for "Spiritual Endangerment" now...she can take the kids with her. You will be viewed by everyone, maybe even your own kids as EVIL. And the wife will look squeeky clean and righteous to the congregation. Imagine seeing your kids one weekend and your 6yr old daughter asks "Daddy, why don't you Love Jehovah anymore?"

    If one is lucky enough to keep the family in tact while the spouse still goes to meetings, you have to let your kids go with them...to at least appear to be "reasonable" and loving otherwise you'll be a villian. Oh and in that case, you can't pray over your family (meals, bedtime etc)...your JW wife is now the "head of the household - spiritually". What fun could you have on family vacation, or on weekends? beats me.

    Now, if your question is pointed more toward SINGLE people with little to no JW family...I would have to ask the same question, because I know I would leave in an instant. Unfortunately...I was totally "IN IT" when I was single...and have just found out the REAL Truth over the past year.

  • WontLeave
    WontLeave

    Why leave? If I know Scripture backs my understanding and can conclusively prove it doesn't back the Society's on things, it's not me who has to change; it's them. If they refuse to accept the Bible and are so offended at my rejection of their heresy and apostasy that they throw me out, I won't even acknowledge it. Christ is the head of the congregation; not the GB, not the Service Department, not the elders. For all intents and purposes, Jesus and his followers were disfellowshipped from the temple and synagogues. Did they tuck their tails between their legs and leave?

    I just got into a phone discussion a few days ago with an elder from my Hall and thoroughly rejected the GB as the leaders of Christianity. I have rejected the Watchtower as man-made and valueless since I came in. I will not accept anyone's opinion if it can't be backed by Scripture, including C/Os confronting me about things.

    Part of the cult mind control of the Watchtower is them making the JWs believe they are important. Once a Christian realizes the human group in NY and its satellite groups in Kingdom Halls don't matter, it's a truly emancipating revelation. Suddenly the power grabs are silly, the appeals to their authority as the only necessary evidence are hollow, the elders' demands for conformity are pathetic pleas for attention and respect from losers in a cheap polyester suits.

    When Jesus spoke of the Pharisees, he said "Let them be. Blind guides is what they are." (Mat 15:14) Realizing the man-made rules, time keeping, meeting attendance, proprietary vocabulary, underlining magazines, all the seeking of glory before men; it's pointless and doesn't lead toward anything. The titles and positions, the "privileges" of service; they're just carrots on sticks to control behavior. They're weapons to use against us, in case we don't comply and conform. When they can't DF us for actually violating God's laws, they take away a "privilege" for violating theirs.

    I let it be known early on I didn't want a title. I didn't have to be called a "pioneer" to preach. I didn't need to be on the "theocratic" ministry school in order to be qualified. If I wanted to listen to heavy metal, grow a beard, study martial arts, be in a "worldly" club, etc.; I didn't give them any satisfaction of "punishing" me by taking away their phony privileges.

    Part of the idolatry the vast majority of JWs are actively involved in is placing importance in the Society. Allowing a group of men to usurp Christ's position in your heart, allowing them to convince you to reject Scripture for Watchtower articles, allowing them to control your actions, emotions, and thoughts are all forms of worship. Think about all the things God wants from us: Obedience, submission, respect, glory; the Society wants it all for themselves. I discuss this at length (perhaps too much length) in my paper "Do Christians Have Human Leaders?"

  • ifonly789
    ifonly789

    You're right RagingBull I can't relate to some of it. I was wanting to see how people like you coped with having to put up with things, and yes I was wondering why others who had less to lose hadn't left yet.

    I still have my inlaws who are constantly telling my wife what to believe and that she will come running back to the org once we have spent time in the "world" & how theres nothing else there. My father-in-law is an elder and OTT in the "truth". If we were to make mention of what we have learnt etc since we left well I'm guessing we could still get DF'd. Although, unlike many, I can afford to as I would only cut off my inlaws. My family still live in SA so we don't get to speak with them much. My mom cries eveytime I phone her and my sister is a Special pioneer so really turns on the emotional bullying tactics that she seems to have picked up in her studies.. We get the whole we killing the grandchildren etc. And although it would be sad if we were cut off from them completely , like you said, we are still lucky to have come out as a family.

    Still I'm here to learn from others and help where I can.

  • RagingBull
    RagingBull

    WontLeave, you're awesome! I saved that paper too!

  • wobble
    wobble

    Wontleave, brilliant post and even more brilliant paper !!

    I cannot understand those who stay, I walked away, knowing that the chances were i would lose my darling wife, and all of my blood relatives, aprt from one cousin who has never been a J.W

    Why did I risk all that ? because I have a conscience, I believe in Truth and in particular in being true to oneself, if you are not that, are you of any value as a human ?

    It takes humility, you have to recognise you have been a fool who was duped, and it takes integrity, you either stand up for truth, or you don't care who shits on you.

    That is the stark choice, and I too, Ifonly789, wonder why people delay.

    There is no perfect time to leave, waiting for something to change is like waiting for the New System, it ain't gonna happen.

    Just grow a pair of balls, and walk away from the damn religion, your life can only get better from the on.

  • Black Sheep
    Black Sheep

    Because if you want to have a shot at getting your family out, you have to be able to talk to them.

    You can nudge your family through the door from the inside, but once you are outside, wearing the APOSTATE tee shirt, you have missed that chance.

  • ABibleStudent
    ABibleStudent

    How many, who are still "in", continue to donate money and do Bible studies using WTBTS literature? If you were to stop donating money or read the Bible with a convert instead of using the WTBTS literature, would that allow you to appear to be a good JW without being scrutinized? Would it be your fault that converts do not become baptized, that your converts do not donate, or that donations are not as large as the Org wants?

    Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

    ABibleStudent

  • serenitynow!
    serenitynow!
    Part of the idolatry the vast majority of JWs are actively involved in is placing importance in the Society. Allowing a group of men to usurp Christ's position in your heart, allowing them to convince you to reject Scripture for Watchtower articles, allowing them to control your actions, emotions, and thoughts are all forms of worship. Think about all the things God wants from us: Obedience, submission, respect, glory; the Society wants it all for themselves. I discuss this at length (perhaps too much length) in my paper

    Won'tLeave, your post was excellent! I especially agree with this paragraph. It's only recently after continuing to read the WT Study Edition that I have discovered that the GB really has usurped Jesus Christ, and completely taken him out of the equation. His ransom sacrifice means nothing to them. They will decide if you are forgiven of your sins. Disgusting!

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