by Coffee House Girl 25 Replies latest jw friends
I'm so sorry. I went through the same sort of thing when my mother died. Fortunately the hospital staff put family first and my sisters and I spent all our time with our mother as she passed. We let the JWs in to visit, after all they were her friends, but we were the ones to spend the most time with her.
Just be there for your father and mother, let the JWs do their crappy game playing and ignore them.
All the great advice is already given but I didn't want to go without posting something. So here's a post for moral support, CHG. It appears you're in good hands with CSG at home. And you have friends and well-wishers here, too.
Quandry you said it..your advice encompasses what I need to do exactly- thank you
Hortensia- I am sorry about your mom, thank you for sharing your personal experience, I'm glad you got that time and the end for her
Mad- always appreciate your support thank you
I am so sorry for what you are going through. I went through hell when my parents died and I was still a believer in the religion at the time. I was an elder wife and going to all the meetings when they died.
My parents had been very abusive to me growing up and many in the hall had strong ideas on how I should handle things, even some telling me to move back in with them and leave my husband until they died.
It was pure hell as I had such a rocky relationship with them and yet I still really did love them.
I will never forget the PO sitting in my living room putting his finger in my face telling me I hated my parents like I was scum. I just looked at him and bust out crying saying I did not hate my parents but I did love them. He then said I did not act like it.
My parents allowed me to be molested all my life where was their love for me when I needed them I wondered? And why was I an adult now supposed to suck up all those years of abuse and rush to bring those people into my home.
Even my husband being an elder did not stop the gossip from flying. One sister tried to get me DF'ed because I was not supporting my parents right according to her. They were in a well run nursing home but all the JW's in my hall said the home was horrible. Yet right in the same nursing home was a elder from another hall and his elder sons put him in the same place that was OK for them but not for me?
All I can say is my heart breaks for you going through this. Nothing I did was right, I was scum worse then scum and Jehovah was going to get me for how badly I treated my parents was what I was told.
My thoughts are with you at this time. You do not need the JW's when you are going through this.
I am so sorry.
LITS
Coffeehouse Girl: I'm so sorry about this terribly difficult time. You've been given really good advice by others here and all I have to say is that your dad is the one that matters right now. Do whatever you believe will make him comfortable and peaceful, both physically and emotionally. And, secondly, treat your mother and other family members the way you would like to be treated. JWs are so quick to impute lousy things to those who have woken up; it's nice to be able to rise above their mean-spirited ideas and prove them wrong.
Take care and keep us posted.
COFFEE HOUSE GIRL.....I feel for you. I lost my dad last July (2010). To say the least, devastating. Yes. My mom allowed this organization to shun me. I have four other siblings. All vary with how much 'faithfulness' they have to the organization. I, like you faded. I'm not DF'd/DA'd or anything. Just faded. My husband was an elder. I was a regular pioneer. I got TIRED of the 'facade'.
Well, my mom stopped taking my phone calls and when she did answer, she would with arrogance and disdain. My dad was cremated and his remains are @ my parents home. I didn't visit or speak with mom, nor my other siblings for about 8 weeks. I finally had it brought to my attention that "they were shunning me for my own salvation". That was short-lived because we all got together to take mom on a vacation for her and dad's 43 wedding anniversary.
Also, there is new information from the Society that talks about shunning your loved ones when they leave Jehovah.....not DF'd....but have chosen to leave the organization. So, my mom has started up again. It has now been 41 days since I've spoken to my mom. I called her yesterday and she did not answer.
I'm a grown woman (40 years old), I have a family, a husband who follows the Borg and lives a double life and 2 beautiful children. I have ALOT on my plate. So, I look at it as mom's loss.
IF MY DAD WERE HERE, NONE OF THIS BULLSH*** WOULD BE GOING ON. He loved us AND Jehovah....NOT the Borganization.
Be strong and my prayers are with you. It will get worse before it gets better. That I promise you.
