I am meeting with my father - HELP

by wildeflower 18 Replies latest jw friends

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  wildeflower

  ok here goes - after 15 years of unimaginable shit (wait, you guys CAN imagine!) and a tearful phone conversation tonight with my mother & father, my father is willing to sit & discuss Jehovah's Witnesses with me (he actually sounds open). I left the borg when I was 17. My father is an elder. So I need to put together some things on paper to discuss with him WHY I am not a JW. Believe it or not, I haven't actually yet presented my case to him in that way yet and I feel I need to before I move on.

  I am NOT interested in being an asshole - I do not want to condemn them or disrespect them. I want only to present in a clear, logical & consice manner my reasons for not being one of Jehovah's Witnesses. My goal is they read it with an open heart & mind and in the end, who knows, but at least I will finally feel I did all I could (because I still don't feel I have - I thought losing their daughter would shake them up, but it hasn't. They feel they have suffered as much as me - you all understand this).

  I asked my father 3 things tonight: 1) are you honestly searching for the "truth" (he said yes); 2) if you learned something that was different than what you already knew, would you be open to examining it? (he said yes); 3) are you so comfortable in your lifestyle because you've been living this way for so long that you would be unwilling to change if you learned new things? (he said no, not me).

  Whether the above questions were appropriate or not, I don't know. I was crying & emotional (I hate when that happens!) and trying to keep it together.

  Which is what I don't want to happen when I meet with him. I tend to revert to a 5 year old and when I hear him quoting all these scriptures I start having flashbacks. I want to be strong & well prepared & kind.

  Any suggestions on particular points to present? That's all I'm asking - for key points - and if you can recommend specific books or websites, that would be helpful. I'm looking for concise & to the point. If it opens a door, we can go more in depth at a later date.

  This is VERY important to me & will be a big turning point. Please don't respond if you are just going to be a wiseass or trash me.

  Thank you!!!!!!!!
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  Pathofthorns

  I think you are in for a big disappointment and likely wasting your time.

  Maybe the simplest thing is to see if he will read COC and refute it for you. If he is unwilling to do that, then he is unwilling to listen to anything you might have to say.

  Basically you need to realize there is absolutely NOTHING you can do in a single sitting to convince him of anything else. He is there to convince you, and that is all there is to it.

  And if they haven't shunned you alread, if they think you are an apostate, your odds have just gone up that they will.

  Path (sorry to be so pessimistic)
• 

  ballistic

  sorry but I also agree. there will also be the JW bottom line which is... anything they cannot explain logically or scriptually is becuase Jehovah has not choose to reveal it yet or it is beyond our understanding, or simply that we just need faith and to trust in Jehovah and his faithfull and discreet slave. These facts explain everything.
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  Solace

  Get ahold of the book "Questions for Jehovahs Witnesses who love the truth". Its mostly just examples of watchtower articles giving major false predictions. I think its by "Joan Cetnar". There are so many other similar books too. If you are not brave enough to hand over a book then the only advice I can give you is PRAY!
  Im seriouse, I know where you are comming from and I think it would take an act of God to free any of my family from the W.T.S.
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  ashitaka

  My father's been pointed out all of the Watchtower's falacies, but he still believes.

  He's been personally screwed by people, his family's been informally shunned for years, still he goes.

  Nothing would convince this man it isn't the truth. Why? You got me? Dependent personality, maybe.

  ashi
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  thinker

  Wildeflower,
  It's been my experience that JW's are not upset by changes in doctrine, most even welcome it! False prophesies can also be rationalized. I have a list of lies and deceptions which cannot be explained away so easily. It's pretty long, so I'll e-mail it to you.
  thinker
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  Solace

  The W.T.S conditions its members to be dependent on the ORG.
  They tell the members that they cant understand the bible and should not read it unless they have J.W. study materials. I know the W.T.S could tell my family that grass was blue, and they would believe it because if its from the ORG. its from JEHOVAH .
  Its so sad..
  That leaves us no alternative,
  LET US PRAY!
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  flower

  with all due respect wildeflower but this is something i feel you need to be able to do on your own without anyone else telling you what to say. you have to know why you arent a witness and you should be able to give that reason for yourself.

  i say this because in my humble opinion its our actions and attitude and expression that is going to win over our relatives if they are to be won over. its not going to be some quote from an apostate site or book. they wont even look at it. we all know that.

  what you present to your father has to come from your heart and the bible. of course to present their double standards, wrongful policys, lies ect you need to know what the books and websites say but you really need to present it like you know it well and its coming from YOU not the others.

  just my thoughts..good luck with your dad. i'm looking forward to your update.

  flower
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  Double Edge

  If you still believe in God and the scriptures I would present your viewpoints in what you have in common. My major points would be:
  I love and respect God (jehovah)
  I love and respect the scriptures that he has given us.
  The scriptures tell us to seek the truth...Jesus said "I am the Truth"
  I want to follow God, his scriptures and seek the truth and I shouldn't be made to feel ashamed to do so ... Truth can withstand scrutiny. I want the freedom the bible students had years ago to seek out the truth.

  Of course, if you don't believe in God or the scriptures, there is no common ground and you're screwed.
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  wildeflower

  Flower - yes it will be coming from me, of course. I am not looking for anyone to tell me what to do - I was looking for opinions and maybe what has worked for someone else.

  I'm outta here - good luck everyone :)