Using the WT's "birthday logic" (only two mentions of b-days in the bible, both negative, which means "true Christians" do not celebrate them) I wrote this faux WT article about whether true servants of the WT god should really own dogs... I'm no SD-7, but I tried....
Animals are truly a gift from Jehovah as the creator of all things. Animals have, since the creation, served as workers and companions for man. The first man Adam was tasked with naming of all the animals. And man was also charged with taking care of the animals as God purposed in Genesis, "have in subjection the fish of the sea and the flying creatures of the heavens and all the earth and every moving animal that is upon the earth" (Genesis 1:26)
Even as man is charged with taking care of the animals a proper balance should be kept between caring for them and choosing certain ones as pets. Pets become members of the family and in some cases, are the only family in the household. Though discussion of keeping a balanced view of pets in general is the source of another article, care should be taken when choosing the right pet for you or your family.
In the modern world, the number one pet of choice in most nations is no doubt the dog. Why, the dog is even called "man's best friend". While dogs are indeed loyal by nature and can be trained to do many chores lightening the work load of farmers and shedards, some thought should be given as to how the Bible views the dog.
As one Bible historian put it, "References to the dog, both in the [Heberw Scriptures] and the [Greek Scriptures] are usually of a contemptous character. A dog, and especially a dead dog, is used as a figure of insignificance." There are over 20 references to dogs and as noted by the historian, they generally are in a negative connotation. Take for instance the following examples of scriptures:
So the Philistine said to David: “Am I a dog, so that you are coming to me with staves?” With that the Philistine called down evil upon David by his gods - 1 Samuel 17: 43
Upon that Hazael said: “What is your servant, [who is a mere] dog, that he could do this great thing?” But Elisha said: “Jehovah has shown me you as king over Syria.” - 2 Kings 8: 13
Just like a dog returning to its vomit, the stupid one is repeating his foolishness. - Proverbs 26:11
Look out for the dogs, look out for the workers of injury, look out for those who mutilate the flesh. - Philipians 3:2
And notice especially in Revelation who dogs are associated with: " Outside are the dogs and those who practice spiritism and the fornicators and the murderers and the idolaters and everyone liking and carrying on a lie." - Rev. 22:15
Would a true Christian want any object in his home that is associated with liars, fornicators, idolaters and those who practice spiritism? Of course not!
Another thing to consider - even though animals are in man's subjection - would you walk into a grizzly bear's den or a pack of wolves without fear? Of course not. We know that the world, under Satan's power, has caused some animals to be dangerous, even deadly. We can look forward to the day soon when the animals are made peaceable again and we can, as the scriptures promise, stand on the cobra's hole or pet a lion. While dogs are mostly docile, many dogs are known to attack without warning. Would it be the spirit of a sound mind to keep an animal in the home that could suddenly, without warning attack you or your children?
Leaving the physical threat aside; While it may be hard to consider the cute, fuzzy little puppy that yelps and yips as a it plays a serious threat to our scriptural well-being, it is not to our thoughts or feelings we must rely on. We must rely on Jehovah's standards as directed to us by his Holy Word and through his Faithful and Discreet Slave. The scriptural references leave no doubt as to the true place of the dog... licking the sores of the beggar and afflicted (Luke 16:21)
We trust that all true worshippers of Jehovah will prayerfully consider this admonition when choosing a pet for their family. Surely we would not let an animal, no matter how loyal, cute or precious one can be, come between us and everlasting life in Jehovah's new paradise world.