From Failbook. Someone posted on Facebook that Jesus beats all other heros. A Batman fan challanged that assumption. Click on link and scroll to the top...
Who is the Better Superhero - Jesus or Batman?
Satan would spank em both. There's talk about jesus dropping satan off a cliff, but, that talk has been ongoing for milleniums.
"I guess you can say we both have obsessive issues with our super heroes."
I want Ronald on my side in any debate.
Jesus: changed water into wine.
Batman: can buy entire vineyard.
Jesus: can walk on water.
Batman: Can glide across in Bat-boat or Bat-sub. Or even Batwing, sometimes...
Jesus: Can raise the dead, heal the sick.
Batman: Can take dead to a Lazarus pit, or perhaps go to alternate Earth and find alternate version of dead person...can create serums to counter most known toxins.
Jesus: died for our sins.
Batman: Beats the crap out of sinners.
Jesus: Will kill all the wicked any day now.
Batman: Doesn't kill. Wicked should be tried and locked away in Arkham.
Jesus: Ascended to heaven.
Batman: Would need a longer grapple or the Batwing...
Jesus: Has God the Father and angels as his "superfriends".
Batman: Has Justice League, but doesn't really have friends, just people he works with, because they could always become bad guys any second.
Jesus: Can escape from people trying to kill him if needed.
Batman: Smoke pellets, poof! Gone.
Well, it looks kinda even to me. But Jesus sells more books. Yeah, but Batman sells more movie tickets. Yeah, but Jesus is who you meet when you die. But Batman has a cool costume. Yeah, but Jesus can turn INVISIBLE. Stealth Batsuit? Hello? Ever seen 'Batman Beyond'?? Yeah, but Jesus is practically like, worshipped. Well, I don't see anyone dressing up like Jesus on Halloween! Jesus wouldn't approve of Halloween! Oh yeah? Well, Batman wouldn't approve of CHRISTMAS! Torture stake! Batarang! Calendar starts when he's born! Batman would easily determine using archaeological data that the calendar actually starts TWO YEARS before he's supposedly born!
THAT'S IT!! [Boom!] [KA-RANG!] [THWACK!!!] [POW!] [CRRAAASH!] [THUSH!!] [KRA-KA-THOOOOOM!!!]
Also, Jesus doesn't have exploding Batarangs... Argument settled.
But Jesus does have lightning from heaven!
[THOW!] [WRRRZZZT!] [DEET, DEET, DEET, DEET, BOOP] [WHAA-ROOOOOOOOOOM!!]
True. But low-grade plutonium combined with Kryptonite ends this discussion. [PHOW! SNAKT!] [FWOOSH] Cool cape beats white robe any day.
Satan simply pits jesus and batman against eachother. He lets them tire out eachother. Then, he works them into his plans. They are both conquered. He doesn't even need to kill anybody to ensnare them both.
Satan is that guy that wears the big S on his chest right? And wears red? Long red tail (could be confused for a cape I guess)?
Among friends. I liked the way the capital one adds portrayed him. But, he likes to stay low key, behind the scenes, so to speak. Goes better w his methods of manipulation.
Satan is the Joker and is Batman's arch nemesis. Neither wins the war, but both take their share of battle victories.
Well put SD. Reminds me of this.......