Hi everyone. Wanted to officially intro myself. Well at least give you: In the Beginning...

by AK MCGRATH 29 Replies latest jw friends


    Hi everyone!

    Well, I'm going to break this up, because if anyone has read ANY of my posts, you know I can be long-winded. Yep, I'm the person that can leave a minute or two message on a v.m.

    I have been on this board for a month or two and wanted to make sure I'd be sticking around before I intro'd myself, so here I am. Grab your favorite beverage, it's gonna be a long one.


    I learned of the "Truth" through a co-worker. This new girl needed a ride and my friend thought I would help her out. She was right. So, during our convos, of course the "Truth" came up. Not before long, she was studying with me. She was very intelligent, kind and pretty. Damn pretty women...always been a downfall...lol (Not sure if it means anything at this point, but I'm a gay chick-more about that later )

    Well, this sister's family lived out of state. So we would end up going to their house for the weekend. Her parents were ex-missionaries, but were insistant on having their kids attending college. And that's just what the four of them did. Smarty-pants. I admired all their diversity from one another and being of Greek decent, those Greeks sure can throw a par-tay. OOMPA! How I did love meeting all the friends, and even going so far as attending the Greek Meetings (in Chi-town) with my new found family. One of the brothers even asked me if I understood Greek cuz I just kept sitting their smiling. I said enthusiastically, "NO!" I got to know the Greek friends pretty well and my foundation to learn even more about Jehovah's blessings were laid.

    Now the hell begins...After this sister moved she knew I had to had to have a study with someone in my territory. So, we go to the K.H. and a brother says, "Oh, I know just the person." I should've strangled him right then and there for the future turmoil she'd put me through! This pioneer sister was probably the worst bitch I have ever met in the Truth. She made my life a living hell. I would actually cry after my study at times. THAT should have been the clue and gotten outta dodge right there and then. But I am no quitter. It would sometimes go like this. Her: "So, what did you do over the weekend?" ME: "Well, I had such a great weekend! I went camping with M's family and some of the Greek friends. We had a blast. Her: Oh, really? Hmmm. Were there just sisters or?" Me: "No, No. There were sisters and brothers. We were in separate tents, of course. Her: Huh. Well, you know, you should'nt be mixing males & females, yada yada yada...Not only did she put me down, but also my beloved friends. These were decent lovers of Jehovah, who, at that time, help instill a deep love for the Truth and HIM . As if that shit wasn't enough (and this type of thing happened over and over) once while we had our study at the K.H., a holier-than-thou, P.O., shit doesnt stink brother HAD TO LECTURE ME on why it is wrong for me to associate with this family, go camping with them, etc. because basically, they weren't as spiritual as these two angels of glory

    I was soo depressed and explained everything to my friend. She was none too pleased and was going to contact this sister, when I said, no, I'll just deal with it. My friend even offered to study again with me, but I wasn't going to let this pioneer fraud and her henchmen get to this broad so far as to stop my study. I was determined to stick it out. And that is exactly what I did. When I thought I was ready to get baptized, which at this point was probably about two years from initially studying, I mustered up the words, "Esther, I want to get baptized." She said, without consulting anyone further, "No. I don't think so. You're not ready yet." That was CRUSHING to me. I lamented to my true friend. She was in disbelief. WTF did she want me to do? I broke up with my b-friend of three years, stopped swearing, stopped all my beloved holidays, shunned everyone by requirement. Did I need to sacrifice my sister or something? Perhaps a sacrifice of a two-faced pioneer would do? Hmmm. I should have prayed about that one.

    Well, I was an unbaptized publisher and so I was giving my very first talk, With MS. Hypocrite. A co-worker who I knew prior to studying, an older lady in her 50's or 60's at the time, said she would try to make it to see my talk. I looked for her in the audience, but could not find her. So when I sat down, I asked my friend, the sister who originally studied with me, "Did you see Charmaine?" "No." she replied.

    Well, I notice she's in the hallway, so I excitedly go back to her and we hug each other. We talk for a few minutes and she leaves. I sit back down, just beaming, and wispered the relayed convo to M. A minute goes by and a brother taps me on the shoulder and does that curly finger thingy saying, "come here". So I get up and go into one of the rooms. There stands two brothers giving me the Fuc'ing inquisition. Them: Who was that woman you were talking to?" Me: "Oh! That's Charmaine. We work together and I invited her to my talk AND SHE CAME!" Them: "Are you sure?" Me: Puzzled~"Huh?" Them:" Well, she looks like a sister that was disfellowshipped." Me: "Disfellowshipped? No. Charmaine is Catholic." Them: "Are you sure, becuz she really looks like a sister that was disfellowshipped, and you know you aren't supposed to talk to anyone that is disfellowshipped." Me: "She isn't a witness. I work with her. She is Catholic. I invited her to come to my talk and she came", I reiterated. Honestly, I don't even know what was said after that, but all I can remember is how I am feeling now, as I am typing this, remembering this bullshit I endured-dejected.

    So I go back to my seat, tears in my eyes and M says, what happened? I relayed everything and she was dumbfounded. She apolgized for their behavior. I was numb just sitting there. No matter how many congratulations I recieved afterwards, my night was marred.

    Well, that is the beginning of the beginning of my journey through the Truth. My house was built on a solid foundation, but some people became jealous of my house and tried to tear it down, bit by bit. Some of "those people" were hypocrites and had tried to put their own conscience of bad behavior upon my house. I wasn't having it. Eventually, one of those people, the evil, wicked pioneer sister was disfellowhipped-again. For what? Committing adultery. Need I say more? Oh, but I will. It will be up to you to deem it a read or not. For me, it is cathartic. And so I write...and write.

  • pirata

    Thanks for sharing. I look forward to future installments!

  • MrFreeze

    It's amazing that you were willing to give up all that for the "Truth" and they still weren't satisfied. Seems like they wanted to tear you down. Very uncharacteristic to do that to someone who ISN'T baptised.

  • prophecor

    Love your design sense. Makes a long post much easier to read.

  • Morbidzbaby

    UGH! I know what you mean! I've dealt with so many self-righteous asswipes in this religion...they always think they know better than you about everything, even about decisions you make for yourself regarding your association. They blatantly ignore the bible's admonition to not impose your conscience on the other person and to not become a cause for stumbling someone else. Yet, they're the only "true" Christians who have the only "true" religion...yet they ignore key points about Jesus' gospel, the first and foremost being LOVE.

    I had mixed emotions reading your post... Empathy, first and foremost because I've been there, anger at the way you were treated (again, cause I've been there), etc. I look forward to reading more!

    Don't worry about being long-winded or wordy. I tend to be the same way lol. My boyfriend told me the other night "Babe...if I asked you what time it is, you'd build me a freakin' clock!"...he said it with the utmost love for me though LMAO. He knows he can say stuff like that and I won't get offended. If you ever just wanna vent or type something really long, you go ahead and PM me...and I'll respond in kind

  • moshe

    Nice story- and tell us about your tattoos and piercings in the next installment.

  • transhuman68

    From what you wrote it seems that you have seen the best and the worst of the Witnesses. There are some good people at the KH but the control-freaks do rule the roost, unfortunately.

  • kazar

    Your story is very interesting. Hope to hear more of it.

  • Found Sheep
    Found Sheep

    ugg the pain they cause. welcome thanks for the chat

  • jgnat

    After I got some experience under my belt, I concluded it's those kinds of people in the congregation that are the most helpful in convincing people to leave. The top-down, high control, authoritarian style guarantees that these bullies will flourish.

    Not surprised at all that sour-face was disfellowshipped.

Share this