ROWWWRRRRR.............it's Jehovasaurus Rex!

by Mr. Falcon 40 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  Mr. Falcon

  Let's visit the Falcon residence for a dinner-time discussion, shall we?

  MF: Mom, why is there such a large variety of animals?

  Mom: Because Jehovah wanted us to enjoy all the different species.

  MF: But why was there such a vast and diverse variety of dinosaurs if they were never meant to co-exist with humans?

  Mom: Well, I believe that God put dinosaurs here to fertilize the earth.

  MF: What? I'm not questioning WHY they were here, I asked why is there such a large variety if they were long before people in the Bible?

  Dad: (to Mom) Let me answer this.... I think the dinosaurs were here to serve as a supply of fossil fuel for us later....

  MF: Dad, like I said before, the question ISN'T about what purpose the dinosaurs existed for, but WHY was there such a variety if they weren't meant for man to "enjoy"?

  Mom: (uncomfortably) Well.... we'll just have to ask Jehovah in the New System.

  

  p.s. I'm touched by the outpouring of concern as to where I disappeared to. For shame. There's going to be a lot of coal this Christmas.
• 

  leavingwt

  If you'd like a Double Facepalm experience, try discussing doctrine.

  Welcome back.
• 

  Kudra

  Most fossil fuel and coal come from plant matter or detritus built up on the ocean floor.
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  wobble

  Why are over 80% of the species God created now gone ?

  He is supposed to have said "It is good", they weren't good enough to survive. Creation, a rubbish job ?
• 

  LostGeneration

  Dinos were just put here for fertilizer? OMG, that is just awesome!

  Dad: (to Mom) Let me answer this.... I think the dinosaurs were here to serve as a supply of fossil fuel for us later....

  Doesn'[t that assume then that God knew Adam would sin? We wouldn't be using oil if Adam stayed perfect, right?
• 

  unshackled

  Seen this on JW Facebook group page yesterday, regarding dinos:

  "I personally think Jehovah did not bring many of the "Dinosaurs" to Noah so that they would die off as species since their purpose as giant lawnmowers would no longer be needed after the Flood."

  Giant lawnmowers? Guess we'll just have to ask Jehovah about that in the New System.

  Welcome back Falcon. For xmas those better be turd-sized lumps of coal.
• 

  Mr. Falcon

  Most fossil fuel and coal come from plant matter or detritus built up on the ocean floor.

  I'm afraid you are mistaken. Clearly, Jehovah predicted that we would be dependant on BP and Exxon one day so he lovingly prepared an entire diverse range of prehistoric animals that would die off suddenly, leaving their remains to decompose into petroleum reserves. Duh.
• 

  White Dove

  LMAO at giant lawnmowers!

  Oh, the visual!

  Actually, that was basically what I was taught about why dinos existed.

  It was to eat all the extra vegitation.

  After the flood, I guess they weren't needed anymore
• 

  Morbidzbaby

  Yeah man, that Jehovah...he's got his spirit-finger on the pulse, dammit! He KNEW we'd all invent things that needed fossil fuels and would RUIN THE EARTH, so damn it all to hell, he gave us the means to do it!

  Falcon, your mom thinks they were here to fertilize the earth, mine thinks they were here to "pack it down"...

  Cause ya know...the great and almighty Jehovah couldn't do it himself and had to CREATE something to do all that...
• 

  cyberjesus

  Jehovah created them so we could have museums