I used to come on this site a lot more but drifted away.
The thing is that recently, I've been thinking a lot more about my life, and its lack of direction, and purpose. I'm in a good relationship, I have great friends and support if I need it. However, I still feel a massive void in my life since leaving the Witnesses.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not in a rush to go back there. But I miss having something I truly believed in. Yes, surely it's better to know the truth about a religion rather than blindly following it, but the thing is that I believe in God, I really do, only I don't know if I believe Jesus is his son, which rules out Christianity. I definitely don't agree with the teachings of Islam; the closest I'd get would be Judaism but then again, it's another example of a faith being twisted to meet the needs of man.
So basically I'm feeling down, without direction, and wish I knew that there was more to my existence than my time on this earth. When I think about the fact I'm already a third of my way through my life with nothing to show for it, it really scares me. I want to have a faith, to have meaning in my life, but so far I've come up with nothing. I'm very aware of my own mortality at the moment and am thinking about death a lot more, and wondering if it's simply the answer, whether I'm ever going to be really happy.