Are most JW families dysfunctional?

by 21stcenturywoman 21 Replies latest watchtower bible

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  No Room For George

  Yes, most JW families are dysfunctional, as are most Mormon families, as are most Muslim families, as are most Catholic families, as are most American families, European, Asian, Indian, Slavician, Canadian, Mexican, Brazialian, etc, etc, etc.

  just my humble opinion

  To imply that JW families are more dysfunctional than non-JW families is preposterous. Speaking from an American standpoint, JW families and nonJW families, both have their fair share of problems, but also their fair share of peaceful domestic lives. Some of the stuff I read on this board would lead one to conclude that JWs congregations are full of pedophiles, full of alcoholics, full of verbally and physically abusive men, womanizing elders swapping wives with one another, and a whole bunch of other crazy talk. That's not to say those problems are nonexistant in the average Kingdom Hall, but there's some serious exageration on this forum from time to time.
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  21stcenturywoman

  The reason why I asked this question is that Witnesses (at least some of the ones I know personally) portray themselves one way, but it seems like several are more messed up than the typical "nonbeliever" or "worldly" person. I know that everyone is human and will make mistakes from time to time, but it's interesting that certain Witnesses have displayed worst behavior than any non-Witness I have ever known.
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  No Room For George

  The reason why I asked this question is that Witnesses (at least some of the ones I know personally) portray themselves one way, but it seems like several are more messed up than the typical "nonbeliever" or "worldly" person. I know that everyone is human and will make mistakes from time to time, but it's interesting that certain Witnesses have displayed worst behavior than any non-Witness I have ever known.

  I hear you, and definately know what you mean. That's one of the things I hate about this religion is the appearances factor. JWs aren't any better than any other group of people out here. Let the WT tell it, nobody died in the holocaust except JWs, nobody dresses modestly escept JWs, nobody has happy marriages except JWs, worldy people are unhappy, but JWs are happified. It's all bull crap. When they print that tripe, all they do is set themselves and JWs up for failure because they're trying to live up to some unrealistic expectation all the while jumbling all the theocratic crap thats expected of them. In that respect thats the one thing I believe contributes to more dysfunctional behavior than nonJW families. NonJW families don't have to be pressured and guilt tripped into attending meetings or field service. It's irritating coming home after a hard day of work or school on a Thursday night knowing you have to get ready to go to some friggin meeting.

  As far as JWs displaying behavior worse than nonJWs, I recall something my father was telling me about a COBOE and his wife. My father knows some nonJWs who know this COBOE and his wife. This nonJW was at a reception or anniversary party of some sort, and the COBOE and his wife attended. The nonJW told my father that this COBOE and his wife drank more than everyone else there. To top it off, this nonJW said that the COBOE and his wife are always preaching to them about the benefits of being a JW. He found it hypocritical to say the least.
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  21stcenturywoman

  @No Room For George, interesting thoughts.

  I look at my own JW upbringing, and realize now that I was treated pretty poorly by my most "spiritual" parent. It has taken me years to realize that type of behavior (in the name of "Jehovah") is unacceptable. My spouse (who was raised Catholic) is a very loving and logical person. He is appalled by how I was raised, and how I am sometimes treated currently by one of my parents. He and his family are so much more genuine and loving than my JW family/relatives.
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  talesin

  lol @ desirous

  but let's not forget "The Cosby's", and "Bernie Mac" (RIP brilliant man)

  my 2 - all families are dysfunctional - it's a matter of degree, and as a 'born-in', the ones that seemed to have a reasonably healthy family dynamic were those who didn't make the religion their top priority.

  tal
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  Hairyhegoat

  Yes they are! I come from a family who were so close but now are so far apart there may be no fixing it. My dad was a person ripe for the JW's conversion tactics back in the 1960's. MY dad was a drunk and mom was a physco. Dad got roped in and that was it we were doomed to a life of complete lies for over 40 years! WTBTS was our life as 1 of 5 kids and a dad who was a stern man and even beat his wife when he got to much lip from her Well I have now seen the light and left this cult with my wife and kids and we are so much happier than before doing all the WT crap.

  I have to add that as a family we are on our own now as all but 1 brother has anthing to do with us. My dad has cut us off cuz we dont go meeting anymore he can only dream what his 4 grand kids look like now after 12 months of no contact cuz of these arseholes at the WTBTS. I will name my dad as he has pissed me so much by been a wt man and choosing them over his own family... my mom would have not stud for this horse shit but he has So here is his name Thomas Ryan and he goes to the Kingshurst cong in the west midlands UK ! Bethel lurkers remove this man as he is a ashole.

  HHG
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  nolongerwaiting

  My family wasn't but NLW's family was.

  NLW's wife
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  cantleave

  Yep definitely from a highly dysfunctional family
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  Palimpsest

  Most families in general are dysfunctional. The difference is that a) JWs have an added layer of crazy that stands out because it's unusual, and b) the amount of time congregations spend together means we were all far more likely to know about everyone else's craziness. Most families have the decency to keep it to themselves, but since nothing is sacred among JWs, everyone's dirt is out in the open.
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  WTWizard

  Too many are, even though they look just fine on the surface. At best, you are required to be out in field circus just about every weekend, wasting the whole weekend. Children are not allowed to watch cartoons, play outside, or spend time after school on sports. Some aren't even allowed on field trips if there is a chance they might get "bad associations" or return late so they can't do field circus that afternoon. And the wasted resources--most of them are very poor by choice.

  As for the ones that are not, most of them have parents that are weak in the cancer. Children get to drive by and see the Christmas lights, they get to participate in holiday events at school and the parents look the other way, they are not in field circus every Saturday morning, and they are not forced to pio-sneer every time they get a week off from school. Usually, they are in better shape financially as well because the parents do what is reasonable and prudent, not what the Filthful and Disgraceful Slavebugger wants them to. Oddly enough, those are the children that are most likely to actually like the religion and stay in it--that is, until Brother Hounder starts cracking down and makes them do things too strictly. Then, they too lose it.