Lack of true friends as a Witness

by stuckinamovement 25 Replies latest jw friends

  • Band on the Run
    Band on the Run

    I would have welcome a game night. There was no mixing. The ones who excluded me from their circle got much more "cred" in the KH. They lived in a very bad neighborhood. I was in hand me downs and working. They were on welfare yet wore leather riding boots and the latest styles. One night I went to KH and about seven of them were disfellowshipped for sexual activity. I was so naive I was utterly shocked. The thought of my being in the KH and that they were outcasts was so bizarre.

    I don't understand the lack of socialization. When I worked 80-100 hrs as a lawyer, the firm encouraged and paid for social activities outside of work. The bonding helped work productivity or else we would have to pay for it. So I figure if people were not suffering chronic depression, the door to door work would be more vital.

    Jesus never said preach and do nothing else in life. He had dinners with people. I think they were dinner parties not casual suppers. If you notice, Jesus had a large social circle which would make sense. How do carpenters get clients? God created us to be social creatures, not robots.

  • the prisoner No 6
    the prisoner No 6

    I did not become a JW until my late 20,s , by way of introduction I was invited to a games night, it consisted on boring purile card games etc, at the end of the evening i had won, i had most points, how happyfiyng NOT. I litteraly ran from the house to the nearest bar, and sunk 4 pints of Stella in record time, I have NEVER been so bored in my life, I am pretty sure others there felt the same, one girl a pioneer, would have shagged me on the spot, pity I was there with my girlfriend. The guy (and i use that term loosely) who organised the gig, tried to hit on my girlfriend because she was an actress, and he wrote corny JW plays, What a bunch of f----d up emotional, sexually repressed retards

    Another time I got invited to dinner by a baldy skinny bigmouth JW elder, I brought with me a really nice bottle of wine, his eyes lit up and he disapeared into the kitchen, he came back out clutching the cheapest shitty bottle of wine you have ever seen, telling us he was keeping that one for another time. He poured me a glass, i could not drink it, so i asked if he had anything else, (this was my subtle way of telling him to get his arse back into the kitchen and bring out my wine) that too failed, I then told him i would have to go and buy something alcoholic i could drink (hint number 2) He still looks at me blankly as i leave his house to purchase something drinkable, WTF, if i never socialise with anotyer JW it will be too soon.

  • doubtful

    Prisoner No 6,

    Why did you become a JW then, after such experiences??

  • metatron

    Excellent post. The emotional horror that is the Watchtower.


  • coffee_black

    I was raised in as well. I had great parents though... I didn't always realize it at the time. My parents organized parties for me, and when we went on vacation, I always brought a friend with me. Lots of sleepovers... which was good, because I was an only child. In off time at assemblies, my mom would take my friends and me to see the local sites... like in Plymouth, MA, we visited the Mayflower, Plymouth rock and the Museum... Wherever we were, she would find something of interest for us to see. My parents really tried hard to make sure I had opportunities for friendships.

    I got to go to both my jr. and sr. proms, but not the regular dances. I participated in high school clubs, and newspapers, and performed in the class play. I had weekend art classes. I couldn't hang out or date worldly kids (though I snuck out a few times on dates....and was scared to death the whole time that I would get caught) They never found out, though. And I got to go to college.

    My best friend came into my life when I was 6 years old... and my mom conducted a study with her mom. We are both out now, and are best friends still. We are both that's a long time. My bf is an xjw as well. Most of my other jw friends are still in and shun me completely. No big loss...they weren't true friends to begin with. I had kids in the cong who wanted to be my friend because my dad was a prominent elder, and their parents wanted to get close to him. Once I saw through it, it didn't work thought...

    My parents had friends, but not the type of friends you could confide in... my parents had eachother for that. They were very unusual jws.


  • Band on the Run
    Band on the Run

    It may not be only the Witnesses. Someone posted that they were absent and only elders called to see how you were. I attended an Angllican church for about four years and volunteered for everything but heavy labor. There was a dispute with the priest that was so serious I could never receive eucharist from her again. No one called me at home and my name was in the church directory. The same thing happened with another friend so it is not just me.

    People did come up and chat briefly in the grocery store. People are friendly. Friends are rare treasures.

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