Ready or not, Judgement Day is in two weeks--

by moshe 48 Replies latest social current

  • Snoozy

    How does that work when the time/day is different in other countries?

    And don't forget, my brother ssid Jesus will be coming in a spaceship this time...

    Snoozy, what day is this?

  • moshe

    Snoozy, the 21st comes early in New Zealand, while it is still the 20th in the USA. Is it a rolling rapture. beacuse God has a limited bandwidth for beaming people up to heaven? Is there a weight limit for the rapture?- is the cutoff- 300lbs-400lbs and gluttons get left behind?

  • charlie brown jr.
    charlie brown jr.

    I'm shaking in my boots...

    Satan here I come!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • moshe

    Tomorrow morning when I turn on the Today Show, the Rapture should just be getting underway in New Zealand, by lunchtime the Aussies will be going to heaven- Oh, I'm getting cold chills in anticipation--

  • yourmomma

    Its been touched on, but family radio being worth 100 million tells you what you need to know about the motives. when is the government going to start cracking down on these predators?

  • agonus

    I've seen a couple of billboards/visual adverts for 5/21 in my neck of the woods...

  • Invetigator74

    Another group to be covered by your average taxpayer If they quit their jobs listening to this "prophet" they should be held accountable and not able to collect anything from Social Services ,paid for with our hard earned tax dollars.

  • chickpea

    FAQ for my Students: The Rapture

    (Image source)

    Q: With the rapture coming, should I bother working on my final paper?
    A: Yes. The odds are you will not be judged worthy of ascent to heaven, in which case your grades will still be a basis of judgment for rewards in this earthly sphere.

    Q: What if my instructor is raptured?
    A: None of our instructors bear much chance of being judged worthy. However, on the off chance your instructor is chosen, an army of unemployed secular Marxists is waiting to take his/her place.

    Q: If my mother/father/grandfather/grandmother/favorite aunt/etc. is chosen, will I be excused from the final so that I may mourn his/her loss?
    A: No. They have not died, but been granted eternal life, thus this does not count as a case of a death in the family.

    Q: If my instructor is not raptured, is he really fit to judge me?
    A: Yes, seeing as you were not raptured, you are still subject to the earthly judgment of the unsaved. If/when you are redeemed, a change of grade form will be automatically processed by heavenly authorities if they decide your grade was unfairly given by one of the damned.

    Q: If my computer crashes and my printer breaks and there is no email on account of the rapture, will I be able to get an extension on the paper?
    A: Everyone in tech and IT departments is of Satan’s party, so the internet, your computer, and your printer should continue to work the way they always have: sporadically.

    Q: How will the rapture affect your curving, particularly if raptured students are exempt from final tests/papers?
    A: Final grades are not curved, but students who are taken up in the rapture will be given incompletes, just in case.

  • charlie brown jr.
    charlie brown jr.

    If I am raptured ....

    I won't be responsible for my bills....

    I'll hide for the rest of my life easily

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