Hello from NW USA

by Haulin Oats 22 Replies latest jw friends

  • Haulin Oats
    Haulin Oats

    Wow, thanks guys. Definitely a big support group here.

    I'm in the east side of WA state (and thats about as specific as I want to get for now).

    I went on a walk today with the wife, and boy was it nice. I was able to ask her viewpoints on various things we've discussed regarding breaking free. She mentioned that she will likely have a hard time with her mom who is very much "in the truth". But her husband is an unbeliever. My wife's mom may have an issue, or she may not even care that we've left. We'll see. Honestly it's none of her damn business, but you know how the witlesses get when a sheep strays....

    @oompa, you may want to introduce your wife to the magical world of "logical fallacies". Thats how I was able to plant the seeds (or uproot the weeds?) with my wife. Wikipedia is full of examples of fallacious thinking; pick some popular ones and point them out in the newspaper or media outlets and ask her opinion. Once you find one she recognizes, its time to find a similar fallacious vein of reasoning that the cult uses. Find a WT article loaded with BS reasoning that she will be able to recognize, and mention that you found it interesting. From there, its simply shooting fish in a barrel. Its really tough to discredit logical thinking; and since we're exposed to it nearly everyday (even outside of religion), its not hard to come up with hundreds of examples of incorrect thought-processes.

    Thanks to "the truth", I have a keen ability to draw analogies for just about anything so people can understand them. My wife isn't necessarily the academic type (I consider her pretty fragile), so i have to explain things so she'll understand easily. I am fair in my analogies often asking unbiased questions. I want this to be her decision, and not be the asshole husband that MADE her leave the religion. It shouldn't be too hard tho.

    I really appreciate the warm welcome to this board. I remember going to various different KH's randomly and never getting this kind of welcome when I walked in the door.

  • unshackled

    Oh, and my username stems from my days as a youth; being told that the pop band "hall & oates" were demonic/debasing because someone in the hall "just had a feeling they are".

    Welcome aboard, Haulin Oates. Great username. Ironically, while in elementary school I won a science fair prize and it was Michael Jackson's Thriller album. But my parents said he was a bad influence and was made to trade with another kid....for a Hall and Oates Greatist Hits album. If only my parents knew they were demonic!

  • jeckle

    Welcome Hall & oats luke here I can't believe somebody thought hall and oats was/is demonized. Man! Can you believe this mierda!

  • prophecor

    Hey Haulin Oats. Welcome to the show.

  • sizemik

    Welcome Haulin Oats . . . from the far SW Pacific . . . NZ

    I threw out all my Paul Simon in the early 80's because Late In The Evening he "stepped outside to smoke himself a J" LOL

    It's all safely MP3'd now. But we've got all the "Rock n' Roll" we need down here right now . . . hence the name . . . 'sizemik' LOL

  • still thinking
    still thinking

    Hi and welcome, I am looking forward to hearing more of your story. Good name.

    I really liked the sex pistols when I was younger....wonder what they would have said about that? (by the way, my taste in music has improved since then). It was all part of the anarchy of my youth.

  • lovelylil

    Welcome to the board!

  • cofty


    We now have "evening studies" of articles from websites like Barb's and others. We spend time together learning how to think for ourselves. I love it.

    Brilliant - its exciting and scarey at the same time don't you think?

  • Haulin Oats
    Haulin Oats

    I don't find it scary at all. "What can man do to me?" Exciting of course!

    Yeah the whole music thing was pretty amazing. You never knew what music was going to be labled "debasing" that week.

    This is a great story I must share:

    In the mid-west, we had our share of elders who came to give the talk each week from afar (our congregation was about 25 people). We were assigned hospitality for this one particular elder after the meeting was over. Essentially a meal and some chit-chat for the weary speaker and his family before heading home. After the late lunch meal my mother had prepared (often the elders ate better than our own family did at our house), my parents and the elder and his wife hung out in the living room talking about whatever. I decided to retire to my room and put on some Jimi Hendrix (Electric Ladyland). After about 45 minutes of zoning out to Jimi (no drugs involved), my dad came storming in and asked to see the tape I was listening to; I thought that he was going to take the tape and show the elder that his son (me) listens to classic rock in the early 90's. NO. My dad ended up breaking it in half with his bare hands, and then stated "this is debasing music", and left the room.

    Jesus H-Monkey-on-a-stick Christ, was I pissed! That elder had been filling my dad's head with a bunch of nonsense lies about the music choices that kids of the day had to pick from (this was in the early 90's). And being the sheep my dad was, he decided to show the elder that he was a fine, upstanding witless with a family. My Jimi tape got smashed up because of the "theory" that it was bad music, all based on the lies this elder told my dad. An FYI, it was my own father who first told me about Jimi so there you go.

    Needless to say, I didn't let sleeping dogs lie. I went outside right after that, telling my parents I was going to ride my bike to a withness friends house across town and hang out. Instead, I went into his truck where he had a tape of a band he REALLY liked, Maxi Priest. Some type of jazz, easy listening. I grabbed that tape and proceeded to smash that bastard up against the truck bumper with my foot. God I smashed it to bits. There was absolutely nothing left. I felt satisfied that I had retaliated "tit for tat".

    For many years after that, he'd always ask us kids "have you seen my Maxi Priest tape?". "Uh, no dad. never even heard of it....what's it look like?" He'd mumble something then take 30 minutes to rummage in the basement for it, swearing that he'd left it down there at some point.

    Fast forward to the early 2000's. I had to come clean with my father about this silly tape bullshit. So I told him: "Do you remember that elder that came over for hospitality? And remember what he told you about music?" My dad acknowledged the elders monumental visit that fateful sunday afternoon, and remembered the discussion. I then told him that I smashed the hell out of his Maxi tape cause he smashed my Jimi tape. I said I didn't think that Jimi was any worse than some Jazz band. He acknowledged that he'd over-reacted to what he was hearing from the elder. Gee, thanks dad. Way to keep your cool and logically think stuff out before reacting.

    I never lost another tape via smashing/cracking again. My dad left me alone regarding music.

    Remember the buddy I went and visited after my dad smashed Jimi? This same elder had another talk in our hall and my buddy's family had them for hospitality a few months after my debacle. This time the elders wife told my buddy that if he listened to Jethro Tull, that it would make him gay. She said her brother was a homo and he was a big Jethro Tull fan and that her parents had determined that the music of Ian Anderson's band was the cause of it all. Hence the logic was so clear to her, it was her duty to warn others of this hurtful band's music and their message of gayness. Naturally his parents lapped all this crap right up. We had to both hide our music tapes for several months after this. We were (and still are) HUGE Tull fans.

    To whomever is reading this: I am not making this up! I am totally serious. Yes its funny, yes these people are sometimes labeled as a cult...but I was THERE. I heard people telling me what was good for me based on some experience they had ONCE or had heard thru a congregation. Sadly, my buddy made it all the way to bethel (because it was the bullshit goal his mother-hen mom had drilled into his head from his childhood). He is now an elder and still likes Jethro Tull. So do I. I'm going to see that band perform this spring; and you bet your sweet butts that I'm going to think about that time he was told that the music would make him gay.

    "Nothing is easy" (a Tull song) definitely rang true for me and my buddy growing up. Jesus Christ, leave us alone! We had already gave up city life, and had endured persecution at school constantly. Don't take away the last refuge we had in escaping this world for just a little bit which was music. Nope, they had to take that away also.

    End rant.

  • Lunatic Faith
    Lunatic Faith

    I believe your story, wholeheartedly! My brothers used to take my tapes and put magnets up against them to ruin the sound. The first Bon Jovi album I bought, Slippery When Wet, my brother played it backwards because he was convinced it would have demonic messages.

    One of the elders in the cong. destroyed all his albums when he 'came in the truth' and that same elder counseled me against going to a Def Leppard concert when I was 20 years old. I gave up my tickets to please "jehovah" and have regretted it every day since.

    My father didn't like any kind of music and never let it in the house. I went through a fifties phase when I was 17 and he told me to get elvis out of his house and anything that had the word "Rock" and/or "Roll" in it: Jailhouse rock, Rock around the clock, etc.

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