Tell your jw jokes here.

by jean-luc picard 19 Replies latest jw friends

  • karter
    karter

    A Hells angle member became a JW .....now he comes to your door and tells you to F***K off.

    A JW goes to the door and they invite him in,After a while the householder asks"What are you here for" he says "Don't know never got this far before"

  • moshe
    moshe

    I have posted plenty of funny Jewish jokes here, but JW humor, IMO, caters to the morbid/depressing side of religious experience- and that is not funny. So I am thinking JW humor is as much an oxymoron as religious tolerance is.

  • sd-7
    sd-7

    "Jesus evidently meant that the lives of some anointed ones would overlap with the lives of anointed ones who saw the events of 1914. That generation had a beginning, and it will surely have an end."

    --sd-7

  • processor
    processor

    Good one =)

  • Pams girl
    Pams girl

    Jean-Luc I love your door knocker...I just coughed and peed!!!! Tooo0 funny!!!

  • Mr. Falcon
    Mr. Falcon

    "You know what they do at Jehovah's Witnesses' Christmas parties, don't you?"

    "They get drunk and knock on each other." ~ David Letterman

  • Fe2O3Girl
    Fe2O3Girl

    A man went to a pet shop and purchased a parrot. Apparently, the parrot had belonged to a Jehovah's Witness because it kept repeating, "Read the Watchtower and Awake. Avoid wordly associations. The end of this system of things is near." Squawk.

    Well, the new owner of the bird attempted to add new vocabulary to the parrot's repertoire with books on tape and contemporary music, but as the months went by it became obvious that nothing could break through. The parrot continued to repeat the standard catchphrases of the Watch Tower Society and nothing else.

    The owner finally became frustrated and infuriated and, in a fit of violent anger, threw the parrot across the room. The parrot smashed against the wall, and slid down to the floor, at which point the parrot immediately started squawking: "No Blood! No Blood! No Blood!"

  • ballistic
    ballistic

    Hi Iron Oxide girl, you reminded me of the joke of the guy who bought a horse off a vicar and having given the vicar the cash, he was told that as he used the horse in his ministry, he had taught the horse biblical words. Instead of woo, it was god, instead of giddy up, it was Mary mother of god and instead of tsk-tsk to go it was Jesus Christ.

    So the new owner gets on the horse and says, Jesus Christ and after a while "Mary mother of god", and after a while longer "Mary mother of god", and the horse ran faster.

    After a few minutes, the man realises they are approaching a cliff top, but he has forgotten the word for stop or woooo, and accidently keeps calling "Mary mother of god" and the horse just goes faster and faster, until just in the Nic of time, he remembers "god" and the horse frantically skids to a halt on the cliff edge. The man wipes his brow, looks down into the canyon and says "Jesus Christ"

  • muzzy
    muzzy

    A catholic kid says to a jaydub kid, "My priest is so smart, I bet he knows way more than your elder does."

    The jaydub kid answers, "Of course he does. You tell him everything."

  • transhuman68

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