by OneDayillBeFree 29 Replies latest jw experiences
I would suggest trying to contact any family you may have outside of the JW's. They may be in a better position to listen to you and give you advice.
I would say that a college education is extremely important. I myself am in school now at the age of 36. I know that without college it will be impossiable for me to find a job in the near future, and I would suggest you start thinking about what you want from life.
First things first. Go to school. Get a really good education. It is the foundation for your future. It will expand your horizons and your thinking.
Welcome to the forum!
Hi
Definately, get a good education.Knowledge is power.
Make friends outside the organisation.
and don't let the org ruin your youth. Have fun.
great story and welcome; why not start that ball rolling and dump the pioneering as a start then begin your fade, there is no time like the present and 1 day wasted into this stupid cult is one day less for you to start enjoying your life.
My strong advice: immediately quit pioneering (you don't need a real reason) and start 'downgrading' your activity and attachment to the organisation, and as someone else already said, start finding new activities and friends outside the organisation to make the transitioni easy for when you want to finally break free once and for all. You've got to start living a bit of a double-life first as it's too hard to just go cold turkey.
And if I was you I would start dating Kristina properly. And don't be afraid to get a bit physical together. It sounds like you are in love so dont' fight it or you'll be miserable.
Thank you all so much for all your help and support! It's such an indescribable feeling to know that there are people out there who not only know what I'm going thru, but also have given me such good advice! Its been hard to find the time to respond and several things have changed since then. (all for the better).
First of all, Paul Grundy did respond and his response was very similiar to some of your comments. Thanks to all of you, now I have a better view and hold on my life and I am starting to make slow steps to get my freedom!
So here's my plan to get free;
I will not dissasociate myself but instead will fade out slowly (2-3 years tops) yeah it seems like alot but given my status in the congregation, I feel its the only way to keep some contact with friends and family and also the only way to do it successfully.
After all your advice, I looked and looked for a job and finally I found one which amazingly requieres me to work Mon-Sun which is helping me start to miss meetings and field service!
I will remain a regular pioneer until the Pioneer school which for me is in august, then some short amount of time after that, I will quit.
About half a year to a year after that I will move out and probably change congregations to better help my fade.
I am also saving up to go to college cause like a poster said "Knowledge is power" and going to college is something I wanted to do since the beginning.
My best friend Kristina is still here by my side and is always there when I feel like I can't take it anymore. She recently came up with this amazing plan to fade away with me as well that I will write about in another post. God I love that girl. (that might sound inconsistent since she isn't baptized yet but like I said, its a great plan and I will be sharing it with you all later!)
After all of those things, I hope that I will fade out almost completely, and I have realized that its not going to be easy but I feel a whole lot more prepared and its all thanks to you guys!
So again many many thanks, and I will keep posting my progress and many other info about the WTBTS(as an undercover hehe). Oh and please let me know what you think as well as any other advice that you guys might feel helpful and beneficial!
Love,
OneDayillBeFree
Be sure to keep in touch OneDay . . . you have an exit plan and that's great!
I have to say however . . . 2-3 years is a long time to stick with something you don't believe. Not to say it can't be done, but you might do well to have a contigency plan if things take an unexpected turn.
Things can become strained, not just for you, but for your friend Kristina also . . . just keep mindful of your mental state during this time and be prepared to bale out if you have to . . . mental health issues can creep up on you undetected . . . don't sacrifice your health.
Apart from that, I wish you well . . . but do stay with us for the resources available here
Good on you Oneday, keep us up to date with how you are getting on. XXX
Oneday, Welcome. I missed your first post somehow.
You have gotten excellent advice from many.
Just remember to be patient, and work your plan. You sound like an intelligent young man and I do hope you will find a way to get an education. Perhaps you could discuss with your parents going to a community college to get a basic training without raising flags. That way you could get a start. May daughter is out, 23, and soon to graduate with a degree in Biology. I am so happy. She is petite and would never have made it cleaning or waitressing, which is what many young JW women do. Plus, she is smart. Why should she waste her mind when she may accomplish so much in research, which is what she wants to do.
Keep us updated with your progress.
Welcome, young man.
I enjoyed reading your story and my heart goes out to you.
You are smart to plan your exit strategically. At some point you (and your family) are going to experience the pain of your leaving, but there is no way around, over or under the pain - the only way is to go through it. Your exit plan may keep the damage to a minimum. There's a wealth of experience and information right here at JWN for you to draw from.
I left the organization when I was a little older than you and there was NO ONE, no internet, no where to turn.
Best wishes to you, Oneday. Let us know how it goes.
BB
