It sounds to me like you made an emotional decision supported by the writings of those who truly are apostate that was later worsened by brothers you did not know how to respond, comfort, assist, or give you whatever you needed, but maybe I am wrong. The word "apostate" does carry a sharp sting and is sometimes assigned prematurely to those with genuine concerns. Unfortunately, some lack the spiritual qualifications to "reprove those who contradict" as the apostle Paul put it and it probably is in their best interest to steer clear of anything that smacks of apostasy. What you wrote in your letter borrows the language and reasoning used by apostates, but that doesn't necessarily make you one. I have studied with too many people who have read and relayed the same stuff from the web to be too put off by it. [LeavingWT], you went from A to C when you needed to go from A to Z. That is the reason why we warn our people so intensely against apostate literature, because from A to C apostates sometime sound right. You have to follow the flawed logic to the end to reveal the flaw. After the one elder gave you the response he did, you should have sought out the help of someone who could go beyond the surface. That's why we have traveling overseers and others. You could have called a mature friend in NY, someone with a really strong grasp of the scriptures. I imagine that that was hard while being called an apostate, so you instead went a different way. Or, maybe you examined everything that we believe and teach and found it to be utterly wrong, that there is no such thing as "truth", and that this life is all there is and our only hope is in the hands of ourselves, politicians, financial systems, and serendipity. I doubt it but, maybe you now view the Witnesses as a scourge on the planet that needs to be put out of existence as real apostates do. I'm not sure which, but I think that the latter would be worse. I am really sorry to hear that you made the choice the letter indicates and even more sorry to see that you have become embittered toward all of us. It is not too late to change your mind.
Ever notice how knowledgable some JWs are when it comes to knowing what apostates believe and how they act?
For a group of people that JWs are supposed to avoid at all costs and never listen to a word they speak or say, they sure do seem to know all about them and how they operate...
Or maybe... they're just talking outa their ass because they don't really know what the hell they're talking about. Which is probably the case with this guy. He may be sincere in his feelings for you LWT - or for the apostate formerly known as "brother", but his rambling, incoherent synopsis of all that he thinks he knows shows it pretty well.