Has your anger turned to pity?

by journey-on 41 Replies latest jw friends

  • cult classic
    cult classic

    LWT that email is a trip. I agree with JO that it's condescending. I do think his taking the time to response says something also.

    I don't get that, how can you be angry with someone for something YOU did ?

    Psac - It is a layered issue. My family is generations deep into the religion. Most of them have vocalized legitimate complaints about the organization. However, their emotions and indoctrination get the best of them and they refuse to take the next step.

    So my anger is directed towards the leaders of the cult for the role they play in organizing this crap. I feel resentment towards my parents and other family members for not shielding us from the effects of cult life, (even as they had doubts themselves).

    I also vascillate between anger and pity for the selective memory that the organization and my family has regarding inconsistencies and outright lies perpetuated by this brood.

  • saltyoldlady
    saltyoldlady

    Anger doesn't often come up for me - takes too much energy to be angry. Compassion is more my style - it's relaxing. I come away feeling better about myself and them. I do feel a great deal of sadness though - sorrow that they can't see their way through the tunnel of judgmental lies into the beauty of the light.

    And I notice my grief for those left inside the WTS is worse on dark gloomy overcast days - when the sun shines brightly I don't give the WTS a thought. I guess it has been an experience for me like coming out of a dark dank cold cave into a world with sparkle, interest, and beauty. It's not a world of all flowers and drippy platitudes though - there are tough challenges out here in the REAL world - I sometimes think we were hiding from reality by being inside the WTS. We might have thought we had special protection and security. How false that one is.

    We can still have that feeling of closeness with God without being caged up on a smelly rocking old ark full of animal droppings. He doesn't confine us - he gives us freedom to be - to love and be loved. But the idea of special protection or "conditional" security no longer seems like a right to me - that I should personally have and not everyone else also have. God just doesn't serve that purpose for me anymore. I see Him in a very different light now than I ever did inside the WTS. I see Him as loving all of humanity - not just a select few that have followed certain rules.

    Was just reading 1 Timothy yesterday 2nd chapter in preparation for my local Bible Study at the Senior Center and realizing the translation of the NWT a bit different in verses 3 and 4 than most other versions. Instead of saying it is God's desire that ALL men be saved it says it is God's desire that "ALL SORTS" of men be saved - there is a vast difference in comprehension there and an exclusivity being promoted that no longer rings true for me.

  • undercover
    undercover

    It sounds to me like you made an emotional decision supported by the writings of those who truly are apostate that was later worsened by brothers you did not know how to respond, comfort, assist, or give you whatever you needed, but maybe I am wrong. The word "apostate" does carry a sharp sting and is sometimes assigned prematurely to those with genuine concerns. Unfortunately, some lack the spiritual qualifications to "reprove those who contradict" as the apostle Paul put it and it probably is in their best interest to steer clear of anything that smacks of apostasy. What you wrote in your letter borrows the language and reasoning used by apostates, but that doesn't necessarily make you one. I have studied with too many people who have read and relayed the same stuff from the web to be too put off by it. [LeavingWT], you went from A to C when you needed to go from A to Z. That is the reason why we warn our people so intensely against apostate literature, because from A to C apostates sometime sound right. You have to follow the flawed logic to the end to reveal the flaw. After the one elder gave you the response he did, you should have sought out the help of someone who could go beyond the surface. That's why we have traveling overseers and others. You could have called a mature friend in NY, someone with a really strong grasp of the scriptures. I imagine that that was hard while being called an apostate, so you instead went a different way. Or, maybe you examined everything that we believe and teach and found it to be utterly wrong, that there is no such thing as "truth", and that this life is all there is and our only hope is in the hands of ourselves, politicians, financial systems, and serendipity. I doubt it but, maybe you now view the Witnesses as a scourge on the planet that needs to be put out of existence as real apostates do. I'm not sure which, but I think that the latter would be worse. I am really sorry to hear that you made the choice the letter indicates and even more sorry to see that you have become embittered toward all of us. It is not too late to change your mind.

    Ever notice how knowledgable some JWs are when it comes to knowing what apostates believe and how they act?

    For a group of people that JWs are supposed to avoid at all costs and never listen to a word they speak or say, they sure do seem to know all about them and how they operate...

    Or maybe... they're just talking outa their ass because they don't really know what the hell they're talking about. Which is probably the case with this guy. He may be sincere in his feelings for you LWT - or for the apostate formerly known as "brother", but his rambling, incoherent synopsis of all that he thinks he knows shows it pretty well.

  • leavingwt
    leavingwt

    Journey-On:

    My gosh, LT! Your friend's email has so much "hidden" condescension in it!! It's unbelievably arrogant. As brilliant as you are with words, you should reply back.

    cult classic:

    LWT that email is a trip. I agree with JO that it's condescending. I do think his taking the time to response says something also.

    JO & Cult Classic: Yes, the emails were very condescending. He wanted to put me in my place and go on the record as being the righteous one, here. (There was much more than what I posted.)

    It would be easy to get angry and reply to him. But, there would be no point to such a response. As I mentioned, his is grossly ignorant of what he's a member of. I was once just like him. I kept my responses very civil and mostly just stated that I'm now happier than I've ever been and that I'm comfortable with the decisions that others have made.

    IF he ever has any doubts about WT's legitimacy, he knows how to contact me.

  • jam
    jam

    Yes just recently. My baby brother A elder told my Sister and brother

    who has never been JW. He told them he would be sitting around

    the house feeling down, his wife would ask, you are thinking about

    your brother(me), yes I miss him. We were unseparable.

  • leavingwt
    leavingwt

    Some have asked how I rescued my family. One day, I'll finish writing the story and post it.

    VERY short version: I first rescued my older brother, who was a mentally captive, unbaptized publisher, married to a JW. He then used Steve Hassan's suggestions to have repeated interactions with my parents and my younger brother. Since I was an "apostate", the role I played was using the Emotions Card, trying to be a good son to my parents. At several points, were were ready to give up. However, eventually, our persistence paid off.

    I got VERY, VERY lucky. However, there were casualities. I now have two ex sisters-in-law.

    Nobody escapes without scars.

  • LongHairGal
    LongHairGal

    JOURNEY-ON:

    As a ten-year 'fader' I am not sure if my anger has turned to pity. Even though I have moved on for the most part, I am still angry that I won't ever get the chance to tell-off certain people in the religion. Some of them have passed away. Something in me wants them to be punished for their arrogance and the appalling attitudes. There are also some of the living that I would like to tell off. But, what good would it do?

    The best I can hope for is that my anger will subside in time.

  • cult classic
    cult classic
    He wanted to put me in my place and go on the record as being the righteous one, here.

    Yeah that's how I took it too. I had a cousin write a similar letter to me. It was FULL of innuendos and accusations. Because no one has bothered to ask our position on anything this relative could only speculate as to what my "problem" is. They want to go back and say they gave you "strong counsel"... Strange how they feel they are in a position to counsel you.

    LOL Undercover -

    What's interesting is how they ask very few questions about you as an individual, only talk about how you are no longer measuring up.

  • MrMonroe
    MrMonroe

    I feel a mix of anger and pity. At school when I pick my kids up I see Witnesses I used to mix with, and I often think about the "friends" who studied with me and introduced me to this organisation. And I feel a measure of pity and sorrow for them that they're still trapped, as I was for more than 20 years.

    But then I figure, I had the brains to analyse and inspect my religion. I found the resources to do so. They just haven't. As the famous Walter Salter letter said, " 'A man who cannot think is an idiot, a man who won't think is a fool, and a man who is afraid to think is a coward.' I absolutely refuse to have any person do my thinking for me."

    They can all choose to live their lives in submission to a group of old men who sit around a mahogany table in Brooklyn, or they can take control of their own lives. It's their choice.

    Yet they continue to regard me with pity and contempt because I "slacked off" or "lost faith" or become "seduced by the world" or want to "enjoy the temporary pleasure of sin" or whatever lie they believe. Idiots.

  • sizemik
    sizemik

    When I first woke up to the deception . . . I had a lot of anger . . . I mean a lot. After several years and a lot of 'distractions' that personal anger faded to be replaced by a genuine sorrow for those still trapped.

    Now I feel I'm in "third phase" . . . angry again. Angry for the vulnerable young people trying to find there way in life (as I was 30 years ago), who after being successfully indoctrinated, will inevitably suffer either the sexual abuse of their children, unneccesary medical risks, the judgement and shunning of friends and family, mental illness etc etc. Perhaps even all of the above . . . a ruined life.

    I'm angry that I can't prevent what happened to me, from happening to someone else . . . someone who still has their life ahead of them . . . someone who hasn't even met them yet. My anger-turned-pity has turned back into anger of a different kind altogether.

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