the elders want to come by for a visit

Evidently Apostate

they caught up with me at the meeting today which was the first one i have been to an a couple months. i also missed the CO's visit and the circuit assembly and havent been out in fs in 8 months or more. i only went today for my wifes benefit i personally have a hard time listening to thier one sided warped view of the world. at the hall my kids are playing hangman or tic tac toe and my wife basically goes for the social aspects.

anyway, one elder asked if he could stop by with another elder for a visit. i haven't been caught in any unholy speech or deeds so its just a sheparding call but i told him i would let him know if im up to it. the thing is i suggested to my wife that we should refuse the offer because i may just let them know how i feel. i am not afraid of them or anything they may do in fact being disfellowshipped would not bother me at all but it would devastate my wife. to my surprise she is encouraging the visit. i am pretty sure she realizes i cannot be encouraged to return to the way things were before i became selfaware so i am unsure of her motives. i understand the elders attempts to find out my weakness and correct it and i have no problems with anyone at the hall but i am heading out of the "truth" and my family knows it so why the push to meet with them? i am the kind of person who stands up for myself pretty quick and any questioning that seems to belittle or berate will be not be tolerated in my home so i can see the potential for a heavy meeting.

so what do you think, should i let them stop by?

nugget

It is difficult if your wife is pushing for visit. It is possible that your wife thinks they will be able to change your mind and get you back on track. I would advise you to keep the visit at at bay. It may be advisable to thank them for their concern and state that now is not a good time but you know where they are and will contact them when you feel up to it.

They are not there to help they are there to determine if you are a problem and if you are to clean house.

Little Imp

One of my husband's stock replies to questions like "do you want to join the Ministry School" or "Will you start handing in a report" he used to say "I will think about it". This seemed to work well as he wasn't saying yes which is what they wanted to hear, he wasn't saying no which would then make them start questioning and pushing him into something he didn't want. It just always bought him more time as they never had a reply to that.

This may help you in just buying more time until and if you are ready to talk to them.

tenyearsafter

If you do, you should probably hold your tongue if you want to protect your wife from the pain of you being cast out!

PublishingCult

I suggest having them over displaying an unflappable nature of happiness and innocence, serving them Earl Gray tea enhanced with a couple of drops of tetrahydrozoline.

Just kidding about the Visine, of course

jwfacts

It is easier not let them come. It was a "shepherding call" that led to my disfellowshipping. After sitting there pretending everything was ok, one brother asked me what I dreamed of doing in paradise. I could not contain myself any longer and told him I do not believe in paradise. That silenced the room.

Evidently Apostate

nugget: i agree, in the end they are on a mission to figure out my mindset and then thier control strategy.

lil imp: i just want them to get lost and stop intruding in my life. do you think by buying time they will eventually give up?

ten years: good advice i will attempt to use.

publishing cult: doesn't ingesting visene give you diarrea? if i have them over i will be on my best behavior and do not want them exploding in my bathroom. funny thought though.

jean-luc picard

Publishing cult.

Glad you were just joking about the tetrahydrozoline

An urban legend suggests that tetrahydrozoline can cause violent diarrhea if administered orally, such as by putting a few drops of Visine in an unsuspecting person's beverage. However, the actual results may be worse, varying from severe nausea and vomiting to seizures or a coma. Diarrhea is not a side effect

Earl Grey is perfect on its own. I recommend drinking it from the very best cup you possess.

LV101

what's the mafia's line -- stay close to your friends and closer to your enemies. i'd play them along (most of them are doing the same probably and everyone is inside w/their own agenda) until you have a good game plan. you don't owe them your truth or anything else.

wobble

If you decide to, or are pressured in to, letting the meeting go ahead, you must beforetime decide what you want to achieve.

Please outline to your wife exactly what will happen if you are DF'd, does she really want that for you ? and outline to her what pressure you will be under on such a visit.

It is like facing Torquemada and tha Inquisition, one wrong answer and you are on the rack.

My advice is to avoid such a visit entirely if possible, if not delay it for as long as possible, I kept mine at bay for six months, and then said I was not in to crowds, so only one elder should visit.

Even though I exposed my lack of belief to him, there was only one witness, I could have spun what I actually said if it had been questioned.

When I finally got the 2 Elder visit,about a year later, which I agreed to so as to attain my goal of not being DA'd or DF'd , and yet get them off my case,I took advice on here and answered everything circumspectly.

Watch out for the loyalty question "Do you still believe JW's are God's Organization ?" or similar, that one you will have to either lie about or fend off in some way, I just let the queston hang in the air, until one Elder could stand the silence no more and started waffling and I steered the conversation away. I was lucky, they may ask the question more than once.

They left perplexed, and have not been back since, that was about two and a half years ago.

Again, avoid any visit if you can.

Whatever, very good luck.

the elders want to come by for a visit

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