What % of your Congregation is Pioneering in April?

by Open mind 23 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • miseryloveselders
    miseryloveselders

    Q) Why are we thrilled?

    2. One elderly sister who we will call Martha aged 103 who auxilliary pioneered last year said "I was so excited at this thrilling opportunity to have one last thrilling opportunity to auxilliary pioneer that I zealously took the opportunity to join the ranks of pioneers. It wasn't easy, being in an oxygen tent an'all but four strong ministerial servants carried me to all the householders so that I could join in this thrilling opportunity! I am so pleased that although I may never see Armageddon (I've only been waiting 60 years, God is not slow etc ...) that I have had this thrilling opportunity to join in this great shout of praise!" If Martha can do it then how about you you slacker?

    Q A) Why was Martha thrilled? B) Can you Auxilliary Pioneer, you slackers?

    3. Damien* who has no arms or legs and who is encased in an Iron Lung signs using American Eyelid Language - his carers are a willing source of thrilling opportunity for Damien to witness. We should not infer that Damien was winking at the pretty nurse but understand that he was innocently offering the thrilling opportunity of everlasting life to her

    LOL

  • jean-luc picard
    jean-luc picard

    I'm with blondie on this one. We'll go and do the house over the hill and far away while you do this whole housing estate.

    Brings back memories???

  • Open mind
    Open mind

    @ moshe: "WOW-Looks like there will be a lot of JWs fighting for a spot on the sidewalk in front of the 7-11 convenient stores at 9:30 AM tomorrow- maybe I can help them start their time with a good kick in the shins debate."

    I'm curious moshe, what % of the local JWs do you think recognize you on sight? If you try to engage in conversation with those who recognize you, do they leave their coveted 7-11 turf?

    @ freddo: LMAO. That was excellent. Any journalism class would tell you there were about ten too many "thrilling opportunities" in there, but the Theocratic Ministry School would probably give you kudos for repetition.

    om

  • MrFreeze
    MrFreeze

    Haha, thank you freddo. They should sign you up to write bs for them.

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