Does being a JW make you narcissistic

by wyorobert 27 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Lady Lee

  OK I hate these labels. Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a mental illness. My mother most definitely suffers froim it. Few Witnesses suffer from it. There are precursors to thise mental illness that few JWs have ever experienced and they must go back to a time when the person about 2 years old and involves parental and especially maternal abandonment. This does apply to my mother.

  Being self-righteous is not narcissism. Believing you are better than anyone else and that your way of life is better than anyone else's is called ethnocentricity. Not a mental disorder. It is:

  1. Sociology . the belief in the inherent superiority of one's own ethnic group or culture . 2. a tendency to view alien groups or cultures from the perspective of one's own. http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/ethnocentrism

  This applies to most social groups whether they realize it or not. Ethnocenticity is at the root of most prejudice is. Are JWs prejudiced? Most definitely. If you aren't one of them then you are agaisnt them until you becoem one of them. Add to that I think most JWs suffer from very low self-esteem. They are taught they are never good enough and have to keep doing more, more, more. The contstant reminders to do more only fuel their extreme lack of self-esteem. And this is a religion that is based on works so the only way to becoem good enough it to do more. And they will do more even when it makes them sick and they hate it becasue they believe that it is the only way to be good enough to survive Armageddon
• 

  moshe

  From the Mayo clinic--

  Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental disorder in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance and a deep need for admiration. Those with narcissistic personality disorder believe that they're superior to others and have little regard for other people's feelings. But behind this mask of ultra-confidence lies a fragile self-esteem, vulnerable to the slightest criticism.

  Narcissistic personality disorder is one of several types of personality disorders. Personality disorders are conditions in which people have traits that cause them to feel and behave in socially distressing ways, limiting their ability to function in relationships and in other areas of their life, such as work or school.

  Narcissistic personality disorder treatment is centered around psychotherapy.

  --

  Most JWs can function in life, but they sure don't accept criticism- they lie, both inwardly and outwardly to avoid facing up to the failures of their religious belief system. Their WT superiority beliefs allows JWs to justify morally indefensible conduct. My grown daughter goes into a tirade at the slightest criticism and she did have a diagnosis of NPD as a teenager, which I thought she would grow out of. Keeping my distance and my checkbook closed has been how I coped with her manipulations. She can sure fool people short term-- I have never heard her admit that she should have don't something different or that she made a poor decison. Paying bills and keeping leases is only a plebeian worry that doesn't concern her.
• 

  Lady Lee

  Moshe

  I think there is an imprtant difference. My mother hates to be confronted too. But that is on personal issues. When she is in Witness mode she doesn't do that. She was very successful in work and her relationships are bad because of who she is as a person. Even teh Witness family members don't like her and know she has some serious problems

  Witnesses when confronted rarely go into a rage. They will try to repeat their tired litany of WT sayings and then will beat a hasty retreat when they are confronted with those questions they cannot answer. You won't see them screaming at people at the doors who confront them.
• 

  moshe

  I agree with your explanation, LL- Hmm, I guess I bring out the dark side of JWs, as they have really unloaded on me before- raised fist an all. I calm them down real fast- "don't forget, only the meek will inherit the earth". stops them in their tracks everytime.

  I just read a story about how the narcissitic leaders of Enron contributed to it's collapse-
• 

  MrFreeze

  I think most people are narcissistic. The WT org definitely brings it out in the rank and file in a hardcore way.
• 

  moley

  I remember unbeleiving family members say that when i was in the borg i was extremely arrogrant and have become a better person since i left.
• 

  Band on the Run

  I believe some of the problem may be class differences. For instance, I notice that working class people tend to be more direct and deferential to authority that they acknowledge. With my college classmates and fellow lawyers, demanding that they do something is the most direct way of assuring that it will not be done. There are all sorts of unconscious behaviors. My colleagues may be interested in my areas of expertise but they reserve judgment as to whether they agree with me.

  It was a drastic difference for me when I was young. I was taught that hard questions are more important than answers. Skepticism is essential. This was contrary to the way I was raised. A point arrived where I could never return to the family upbringing.

  IMO, most Witnesses have very low self-esteem. The essential problem I found with the Witnesses was that no matter how much you gave, it was never enough to survive Armageddon and immediate censure from Jehovah and his sole organization on earth. When I was a young child, I fretted about all the blood thirst of Jehovah. I knew i could easily be born a Philistine. Also, I knew America had its share of problems. We were clearly not the best nation on earth or God's chosen vehicle. Yet the nightly news showed such images of desperate people trying to reach the West for freedom. I did not see how venal government itself was.

  My experience as a born-in was very different than that of converts. I never knew love from the Witnesses. My family was not welcomed with open arms and plenty of attention. We were judged for not being more active. My parents were ostracized for marriage during the end times which were imminent about 90 years ago.

  I notice that at my local Episcoplian church a large chunk of the parish is afraid that they cannot read the Bible. These people have excellent reading comprehension skills. Cults thrive on ignorance and people searching for some emotional tie. The feeling of certainty was very comforting at times. Sometimes I miss it now.

  When I did field service, we could not find any interest in middle class or wealthy neighborhoods. Our core interested group were Roman Catholics with no idea of Bible knowledge. Bible thumping is one thing. Bible knowledge is another thing.
• 

  HarryMac

  One of the things my wife complains about to this day is the young JW men that think they are hot stuff when in fact 'the world' wouldn't pay them much attention.

  They often get women above their league because there's simply not enough available men to go around.

  Medium fish in a tiny pond ... and after a while they believe they're really something special. = 'I'm the man!'

  We've been out for years and she's still disgusted, lol.