That was my plight as well; even to the point of depression. I would have vacation days and just sit inside because I couldn't figure it out. I mean I was so angry after praying and crying about it that i just gave up. So I don't pray anymore, not really, and I try not to think about it though at the same time, I stress about there must be something more to life than this. I wandered into new age for a bit, but there, everyone believes themselves to be gods once they are finished with the reincarnation cycle. I looked into Buddhism and similarly, the whole avatar thing just didn't synch with me.
So now after being exhausted about it all, I just give up. I will watch Charles Stanley from time to time until he starts talking about secular politics then I get disgusted with him too for awhile. Not sure why God is making this so hard but...
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I hear ya bruh. I feel this way sometimes too. I say to myself, "so God stopped speaking directly to the human race because the Israelites got scared and told Moses to speak on God's behalf for now on." So God stopped speaking directly to the human race from that point onward. He sent prophets, and other representatives in His behalf. Jesus came, and after His disciples died off, that was the end of any reasonable attempt at identifying chosen representatives. So here we are in 2011, and we have to put this puzzle together as to what truth is, and what falsity is. If we choose wrong, we either burn in hell according to some faiths, or we're going to be annihalated forever according to the WT. Not to mentioned the thousands of other groups who claim to be God's chosen ones. I don't think we can fault anyone who gets tired of all the guesswork. On one hand I'm glad to be exploring the various different theological thoughts since waking up from this stupor called being a born in JW. However, it at times gets tiresome reading all these different views. It wears me down to the point that I look at young people dancing half naked on MTV or what have you, and I envy them for not worrying about the same thing I worry about. It aint fair some days.
