Blondie's Comments You Will Not Hear at the 03-20-11 WT Study (SINGLENESS)

by blondie 38 Replies latest jw friends

  • miseryloveselders
    miseryloveselders

    The meeting yesterday was crazy. Needless to say, I did not want to get up yesterday morning, I was in the zone as far sleep goes. It was a beautiful day outside yesterday, and people were out and about doing whatever. On my drive to the hall which takes about 15 minutes or so, I couldn't but help notice all the couples running together, or biking together, or even other couples in their cars going whereever. When I got to hell, the hall and went inside, a couple comedians asked if I was prepared for the WT study, and they didn't mean whether or not I underlined it. They even encouraged me to leave after the public talk. It was all in good taste, nothing to get offended about. After the meeting a widowed brother was picking with me like, "Misery you got your pick in here!" I replied to him that he's in the same boat as me! He's right to a degree, some of them all I'd have to do is wink and it'd be a wrap. I don't say that to be cocky or anything, but that's just the enviroment created by the WT thats plagueing your average congregation.

    We've got several single pioneer sisters who I hate to say it, but the chances of any of them getting married, anytime soon, are pretty slim. They're actually intelligent women, and I'd venture to say even attractive in their own ways, just not necessarily my cup of tea. It was kind of ironic hearing them comment throughout the WT study multiple times. There's another sister in the hall who's not a pioneer, has no intention on pioneering, doesn't comment, isn't on the TMS, and you know what? She came to our hall and got her a man in record time. The thing is she's very attractive, and she's an earner. She can make a living and support herself, which in these times is very desireable in a partner. Plus she's down to earth, you can actually talk with her about whatever. When I talk with her, she's not acting as if I'm interviewing her about her spiritual qualifications. I know all those single pioneer sisters are looking at her and it has to mess with their self esteem. Yesterday's WT study to me was offensive to single people in this organization. Even myself as a single man, who's holding off on a relationship, it messes with me occasionally, but I can deal with that. At the same time, I really, really feel sorry for the single women in my hall. They're like The Proles, or an unwanted caste of women, its crazy. This scenario plays out in congregations all throughout the States, if not the western world. Attractive women with something to offer beyond their looks, will get a man in these enviroments. Meanwhile there's a ton of single JW women, and JW pioneer women, so called spiritual women who have absolutely not chance whatsoever of finding someone in the org. Its sad.

  • snakeface
    snakeface

    They seem to think that single people have more time than the others to pioneer.

    The truth is, singles have LESS free time, because they have to work full time to support themselves AND prepare their own meals, do their own laundry and other chores. Married brothers come home and have a hot meal waiting on the table, then they study while the wife does the dishes, and washes and irons his clothes. Both husband and wife can share in household chores and yardwork. A single person has to come home, cook his/her own meal, do his own laundry and ironing and shopping and cleaning and all other household chores.

    They also seem to think single people are lonely and depressed, sitting around crying about not having a mate.

    And, of course, they think the cure for loneliness and depression is to go out in service.

  • LongHairGal
    LongHairGal

    MISERYLOVESELDERS:

    You are absolutely right that single women are an unwanted caste of women in the religion. That was so blatantly obvious to me and all these people (who couldn't care less if I were alive) werent getting the right time from me.

    It also is nice of you to notice that a woman who can support herself is 'desirable' in these times. But, as far as I am concerned, a woman this 'desirable' should get a man in the 'world' who is worthy of her skill and talents. Not somebody who pursues poverty and is stuck-up over having a silly title of 'pioneer'. Let this guy eat his heart out in jealousy over her money. He certainly doesn't deserve her or it.

    Why should her money go to help somebody who doesn't believe in work or careers? This religion can go take a flying leap.

  • snakeface
    snakeface

    LongHairGal, I've noticed in the organization over the years, many "heads of household" can never hold a job for more than a few months. They have a wife and children to support but every few months they are out of work. And I've noticed that many brothers who were raised in the truth are simply looking for a mommy to pick up their dirty clothes off the floor and cook their meals for them.

    In fact, one time I mentioned to some brothers that I hate to iron. Their reply was that I needed to get married so I wouldn't have to iron anymore.

  • MidwichCuckoo
    MidwichCuckoo

    ...yet they criticise Catholic priests for remaining single, an 'unnatural' state.

  • LongHairGal
    LongHairGal

    SNAKEFACE:

    Yes, it is true that men have (since the beginning of time) been looking for a wife, simply to cook, clean and keep house for them. The problem is that in the past a woman could COUNT on a man keeping her secure. Not now. Luckily, I was not raised a JW so I came in with education, skills, etc. so I am not desperate.

    Sorry, but it is a screwed up situation. In fact, the whole world is screwed up.

  • lifeisgood
    lifeisgood

    I just have one comment.

    You talk about "status" as if it is important or desireable or even useful. I never wanted any status. I never reached out for ministerial servant or elder. I got enjoyment out of being a Christain by showing love. I always thought that the whole ministrerial servant - elder arrangement was bizarre.

    I don't think that going after "status" is desireable.

  • clarity
    clarity

    Blondie thanks for your good work!

    Too bad these issues are not REAL discussions where people could say what they really think, how it really is!

    " a longtime pioneer named Margaret

    observed: “There have been opportunities

    for marriage in my life, but I just never

    got around to it. Instead, I was able to use

    the extra freedom and mobility that singleness

    affords to keep busy in the ministry,.."

    >

    Pure bu$$ s$it!

    When I heard that, I so wanted to say - fu screw Margaret!!!

    clarity

  • clarity
    clarity

    MidwichCuckoo -

    "...yet they criticise Catholic priests for remaining single, an 'unnatural' state." Right On! c

  • sd-7
    sd-7

    Yeah, the singleness articles always sucked. Just made me think, oh, great...so all I have to look forward to is the 'gift' of either pioneering or being harassed about why I'm not pioneering, because I'm single. I pretty much figured that marriage would lead to sex, even if it only happened at the beginning and she totally hated me for all eternity after that. I think it was worth finding out about.

    In Misery's case, singleness really IS a gift, however...

    Married brothers come home and have a hot meal waiting on the table, then they study while the wife does the dishes, and washes and irons his clothes.

    ...I'm sorry, what? I have never heard of this...Is that how it is for other people? I do the dishes when I'm at home, wash all my own clothes, and nobody irons my clothes except me. I do get a hot meal, though, at night, so that's pretty cool--never undervalued, in my eyes! That's a big blessing.

    In a family does each person cook, clean, shop, keep up the car, do the finances, look after older parents or do they divide the duties?

    Uh...what is this division of duties you speak of? Joking. My wife does most of the cooking (I'm learning to cook, a little), child care (I do change diapers and etc., from time to time), and cleaning (I've got the evening/graveyard shift on that job), and I do everything else. No older parents yet, though. It's really a lot of fun being married. You should try it!

    -sd-7

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