Blondie's Comments You Will Not Hear at the 03-20-11 WT Study (SINGLENESS)

I spent 20 years as a single jw woman. The facts are that there are many more women than men who have a single life stretching out before them. Single women in the WTS have no status unless they are married. If they have husbands who are baptized, who are MS or elders who have “privileges,” then benefit from the status of their spouses. These women benefit from the money their husbands earn.

If as the WTS says, that being married is a negative thing because married people are more concerned about pleasing their mate than God, then no one should get married.

***w87 11/15 p. 16 par. 6 Singleness—A Rewarding Way of Life*** Unmarried Christians enjoy freedom from distraction and can find “plenty to do in the work of the Lord.” (1 Corinthians 7:32-34; 15:58) Instead of focusing attention on one individual of the opposite sex, the single person has more opportunities to widen out in Christian love for many in the congregation, including the elderly and others who are in need of loving assistance. (Psalm 41:1) Generally, single persons have more time for study and meditation on God’s Word. (Proverbs 15:28) They have a greater opportunity to cultivate a close relationship with Jehovah, learning to rely heavily on him and seek his direction. (Psalm 37:5; Philippians 4:6, 7; James 4:8)

START OF ARTICLE

1, 2. (a) How did Jesus, Paul, and others view singleness?

(b) Why might some not think of singleness as a gift?

MARRIAGE is unquestionably one of

God’s most precious gifts to mankind.

(Prov. 19:14) Yet, many single Christians

also enjoy a rich and satisfying life.

Harold, a 95-year-old brother who never

married, says: “Although I enjoy being with

others and showing hospitality, when I am

alone I am never lonely. I guess it can truly

be said that I have the gift of singleness.”

COMMENTS

Single Christians = only jws

Remember that God created humans to marry and have children…what chance does Harold have to marry and have children at 95…perhaps he is of the anointed and his hope is to go to heaven where there is no marriage. But what of those whose hope is to marry and raise a family in the “new system”? If they die, they can never marry had have children.

2 Indeed, both Jesus Christ and the apostle

Paul referred to singleness, like marriage,

as a gift from God. (Read Matthew

19:11, 12; 1 Corinthians 7:7.) Admittedly,

though, not everyone who is unmarried is

single by choice. Sometimes circumstances

make it hard to find a suitable partner. Or after

years of marriage, some unexpectedly

find themselves alone because of a divorce

or the death of their spouse. In what sense,

then, can singleness be a gift? And how can

single Christians make the most of their singleness?

COMMENTS

Likewise both Jesus and Paul had the hope of going to heaven not to marry and children.

How many jws are single by choice…or rather because there are no jws to marry, especially women.

A Unique Gift

3. What advantages do single Christians often enjoy?

3 A single person often has more time and

greater personal freedom than a married

person does. (1 Cor. 7:32-35) These are

unique advantages that may allow him to

expand his ministry, widen out in love for

others, and draw closer to Jehovah. A number

of Christians, therefore, have come to

appreciate the benefits of singleness and

have decided to “make room for it,” at least

for a time. Others may not have initially

planned for singleness, but when their circumstances

changed, they prayerfully reflected

on their situation and realized that

with Jehovah’s help they too could be settled

in their heart. Thus, they accepted their

changed circumstances and made room for

singleness.—1 Cor. 7:37, 38.

COMMENTS

Does a single person have more time? In a family does each person cook, clean, shop, keep up the car, do the finances, look after older parents or do they divide the duties?

4. Why can single Christians feel complete in God’s

service?

4 Single Christians know that they do not

have to get married to be recognized or appreciated

by Jehovah or his organization.

God’s love reaches out to each of us as individuals.

(Matt. 10:29-31) No one and nothing

can separate us from God’s love. (Rom.

8:38, 39) Whether married or single, we

have every reason to feel complete in God’s

service.

COMMENTS

So what status do single women have? None, only the status of their husbands. The higher the husband’s status, the higher theirs is. Can single women go to Gilead or Bethel? Very few.

5. What is needed in order to obtain the full rewards

of singleness?

5 Still, as with such gifts as musical or athletic

talent, the gift of singleness has to be

cultivated in order to realize its full potential.

So how can single Christians today

—whether brothers or sisters, young in age

or up in years, single by choice or because of

circumstances—make the most of their situation

in life? Let us consider some encouraging

examples from the early Christian

congregation and see what we can learn.

COMMENTS

But how many jws are encouraged to develop musical or athletic talent? How many jws do you know that learn to play an instrument as a jw or to read music?

***w04 5/1 p. 31 Ancient Sports and the Importance of Winning*** Many modern contact sports have a potential for violence. Anyone attracted to such sports does well to remember the words of Psalm 11:5: “Jehovah himself examines the righteous one as well as the wicked one, and anyone loving violence His soul certainly hates.”

Singleness in Youth

6, 7. (a) What privilege did Philip’s virgin daughters

receive in God’s service? (b) In what ways did

Timothy make good use of his single years, and how

was he blessed for his willingness to serve in his

youth?

6 The evangelizer Philip had four virgin

daughters who shared their father’s zeal for

evangelizing. (Acts 21:8, 9) Prophesying was

among the miraculous gifts of the holy spirit,

and these young women used that gift in

fulfillment of Joel 2:28, 29.

COMMENTS

Does any female jw have the same status those daughters, the gift of the holy spirit, prophesying?

***Insight Book v.2 p. 698 Prophetess*** Prophesying was among the miraculous gifts of the spirit that were granted to the newly formed Christian congregation. Certain Christian women, such as Philip’s four virgin daughters, prophesied under the impulse of God’s holy spirit. (Ac 21:9; 1Co 12:4, 10) This was in fulfillment of Joel 2:28, 29, which foretold that “your sons and your daughters will certainly prophesy.” (Ac 2:14-18) Such gift, however, did not remove a woman from subjection to the headship of her husband or to that of men within the Christian congregation; in symbol of her subjection she was to wear a head covering when prophesying (1Co 11:3-6) and was not to act as a teacher within the congregation.—1Ti 2:11-15; 1Co 14:31-35.

But what about Deborah who was a judge and a prophetess: Was she under her husband’s control?

Judges 4:4

Now Deb′o·rah, a prophetess, the wife of Lap′pi·doth, was judging Israel at that particular time

7 Timothy was a young man who made

good use of his singleness. From infancy

he was taught “the holy writings” by

his mother, Eunice, and his grandmother

Lois. (2 Tim. 1:5; 3:14, 15) But they likely

embraced Christianity only during Paul’s

first visit to Lystra, their hometown, about

47 C.E. Two years later, when Paul visited a

second time, Timothy was perhaps in his

late teens or early 20’s. Despite being relatively

young both in age and in the truth, he

was “well reported on” by the Christian elders

in Lystra and neighboring Iconium.

(Acts 16:1, 2) So Paul invited Timothy to join

Him as a traveling companion. (1 Tim. 1:18;

4:14) We cannot say for certain that Timothy

never married. But we do know that as a

young man, he cheerfully accepted Paul’s

invitation, and for many years thereafter, he

enjoyed serving as a single missionary and

overseer.—Phil. 2:20-22.

COMMENTS

LIKELY

PERHAPS

So would a single sister have been invited as a traveling companion?

WE CANNOT SAY FOR CERTAIN THAT TIMOTHY NEVER MARRIED

Are you making the most of your opportunities in God’s service?

8. What enabled John Mark to pursue spiritual

goals, and what blessings did he receive for doing

so?

8 In his youth, John Mark also used his

single years to good advantage. He and

his mother, Mary, as well as his cousin

Barnabas were early members of the Jerusalem

congregation. Mark’s family may

also have been comfortably situated, since

they owned their own home in the city

and had a servant. (Acts 12:12, 13) Despite

these advantages, however, even as a young

man, Mark was not self-indulgent or self centered;

nor was he content to settle down

and lead a comfortable family life. His early

association with the apostles likely instilled

in him a desire for missionary service. So he

eagerly joined Paul and Barnabas on their

first missionary tour and served as their attendant.

(Acts 13:5) Later, he traveled with

Barnabas, and later still, we find him serving

with Peter in Babylon. (Acts 15:39; 1 Pet. 5:

13) How long Mark remained single, we do

not know. But he earned an excellent reputation

as someone who was willing to minister

to others and do more in God’s service.

COMMENTS

MAY comfortably situated…not self-indulgent or self centered

LIKELY

HOW LONG MARK REMAINED SINGLE, WE DO NOT KNOW

9, 10. What opportunities are there today for

young single Christians to expand their ministry?

Give an example.

9 Many young ones in the congregation

today also gladly use their single years to

expand their share in God’s service. Like

Mark and Timothy, they appreciate that

singleness allows for “constant attendance

upon the Lord without distraction.” (1 Cor.

7:35) This is a real advantage. Opportunities

abound—pioneering, serving where

the need for Kingdom preachers is greater,

learning a foreign language, assisting with

Kingdom Hall or branch construction, attending

Ministerial Training School, and

serving at Bethel. If you are still young and

unmarried, are you making the most of

your opportunities?

COMMENTS

So how many young jws stay single? How old are they when they do get married? How many pioneer and support themselves or are supported by their parents.

How many single women work in KH and branch construction, MTS school, Bethel.

10 A brother named Mark started pioneering

in his late teens, attended the Ministerial

Training School, and has served in various

assignments around the world. Looking

back on 25 years of full-time service, he says:

“I’ve tried to work with everyone in the

congregation, sharing in the ministry with

them, making shepherding calls on them,

inviting them to my home for meals, and

even arranging gatherings with a spiritual

focus. All these things have brought me a

great deal of joy.” As Mark’s comments reveal,

the greatest joy in life comes from giving,

and a full life in sacred service offers

many opportunities for giving to others.

(Acts 20:35) No matter what your personal

interests, skills, or experience in life, for

young people today, there is plenty to do in

the Lord’s work.—1 Cor.15:58.

COMMENTS

So are they saying that married elders have no time to work with everyone, make shepherding calls, have the budget to cook for others, or have parties?

Does this mean that married people have no time or money to give to others?

11. What are some benefits of not rushing into

marriage?

11 Although most young people would

like to marry eventually, there are good reasons

not to rush into marriage. Paul encourages

youths to wait at least until they are

past “the bloom of youth,” when sexual desires

are most powerful. (1 Cor. 7:36) It takes

time to understand yourself and acquire the

experience in life that is needed to choose a

suitable mate. Making a marriage vow is a

serious decision, one that should last for

life.—Eccl. 5:2-5.

COMMENTS

What is rushing, how old should you be? Is the WTS saying that people in their 30’s have no sexual desires, how can they have experience in life living at home and having mum and dad pay the way?

Singleness in Later Life

12. (a) How did the widow Anna cope with her

changed circumstances? (b) What privilege did she

receive?

12 Anna, mentioned in Luke’s Gospel,

likely was deeply saddened when her husband

died unexpectedly after just seven

years of marriage. We do not know whether

they had any children or if she ever considered

remarrying. But the Bible reports that

at age 84, Anna was still a widow. From what

the Bible says, we can conclude that Anna

used her changed circumstances to draw

closer to Jehovah. She was “never missing

from the temple, rendering sacred service

night and day with fastings and supplications.”

(Luke 2:36, 37) So spiritual things

came first in her life. That took real determination

and effort, but she was greatly rewarded.

She was privileged to see the young

child Jesus, and she witnessed to others

about the liberation that was due to be effected

through this coming Messiah.—Luke

2:38.

COMMENTS

WE DO NOT KNOW…CHILDREN…CONSIDERED REMARRYING…OR HAD PROSPECTS

ALWAYS AT TEMPLE…HOW DID SHE SUPPORT HERSELF, WHO COOKED FOR HER

SO THE MAN WHO SAW JESUS, SIMEON, WAS HE SINGLE?

13. (a) What indicates that Dorcas was actively involved

in the congregation? (b) How was Dorcas rewarded

for her goodness and kindness?

13 A woman named Dorcas, or Tabitha,

lived in Joppa, an ancient seaport northwest

of Jerusalem. Since the Bible mentions no

husband, she was likely unmarried at the

time. Dorcas “abounded in good deeds and

gifts of mercy.” She evidently made many

garments for needy widows and others,

and this greatly endeared her to them. So

when she suddenly fell ill and died, the

whole congregation sent for Peter to implore

him to resurrect their dear sister. As

news of her resurrection spread throughout

Joppa, many became believers. (Acts 9:36-

42) Through her extraordinary kindness,

Dorcas herself may have had a share in helping

some of them.

COMMENTS

But Deborah was a judge and prophet although her husband was still alive and present.

Evidently

Would Peter have resurrected her without being asked to do so?

May Have

14. What moves single Christians to draw closer to

Jehovah?

14 Like Anna and Dorcas, many in congregations

today find themselves single later in

life. Some may not have found a suitable

marriage mate. Others are divorced or widowed.

Having no marriage mate to confide

in, single Christians often learn to lean

more heavily on Jehovah. (Prov. 16:3) Silvia,

a single sister who has served at Bethel

for more than 38 years, sees this as a

blessing. “Sometimes I get tired of being

the strong one,” she admits. “I wonder,

‘Who will encourage me?’ ” But then she

adds: “Trusting that Jehovah knows what I

need better than I do helps me to draw

closer to him. And the encouragement always

comes, sometimes from completely

unexpected sources.” Whenever we draw

closer to Jehovah, he always responds in a

most tender and reassuring way.

COMMENTS

So are Christians to confide in their marriage mates or God?

Silvia evidently was married to a male Bethelite that died…38 years = 1973

Are women to depend on husbands or God?

Unexpected sources---from non-jws?

15. How may unmarried Christians “widen out” in

their love?

15 Singleness affords a special opportunity

to “widen out” in love. (Read 2 Corinthians

6:11-13.) Jolene, a single sister who has

spent the past 34 years in full-time service,

says: “I’ve tried to work hard at building

warm relationships, not just with people my

own age, but with all types of people. Singleness

is a real opportunity to give to Jehovah,

your family, and your brothers and sisters,

as well as to your neighbors. The older I

get, the happier I feel about my single

state.” The elderly, the infirm, single parents,

youths, and others in the congregation

certainly appreciate the unselfish support

that single ones offer to them. Indeed,

whenever we show love to others, we feel

better about ourselves. Can you too “widen

out” in your love for others?

COMMENTS

Did others try to reach out to her?

Where is the opportunity for those in the congregation to give to her?

So is it the responsibility of single women to help the elderly, the infirm, single parents, youths or the elders?

Single for Life

16. (a) Why did Jesus stay single for life? (b) How

did Paul make wise use of his single state?

16 Jesus did not marry; he had to prepare

for and carry out his assigned ministry. He

traveled extensively, worked from early in

the morning until late at night, and eventually

laid down his life in sacrifice. Singleness

was an advantage in his case. The apostle

Paul traveled thousands of miles and faced

great hardships in the ministry. (2 Cor.

11:23-27) Although he may have been married

earlier, Paul chose to stay single after he

was commissioned as an apostle. (1 Cor. 7:7;

9:5) For the sake of the ministry, both Jesus

and Paul encouraged others to imitate

their example where possible. Yet, neither

of them set celibacy as a requirement for

ministers.—1 Tim. 4:1-3.

COMMENTS

Of course Jesus knew it was going to die at 33.5 years of age. He did not have years of singleness on earth before him.

Paul may have been married…chose to stay single…but then he knew that he was going to live forever unmarried in heaven.

Celibacy—what did Rutherford teach?

1941 "Armageddon is surely near, and during that time the Lord will clean off the earth everything that offends and is disagreeable. ... From now on we shall have our heart devotion fixed on The Theocracy, knowing that soon we shall journey forever together in the earth. Our hope is that within a few years our marriage may be consummated and, by the Lord's grace, we shall have sweet children that will be an honor to the Lord. We can well defer our marriage until lasting peace comes to the earth." (J. F. Rutherford, Children, 1941, p.366)

Rutherford's books and magazine articles reveal his strong views on " the proper place of women " in the church and society. In a 1931 book he linked the post-1919 rise of women's movements that encouraged equality of the sexes with satanic influence, [177] and claimed the custom of men tipping their hats to women or standing when a woman approached was a scheme of the devil to turn men from God and indicated an effeminate streak in men who practiced the custom. [172] Mother's Day was similarly described as part of a plan to turn people away from God. [178] In 1938 he urged adherents to delay marriage and child-bearing until after Armageddon, [179] which Wills claims prompted a strong community bias among Witnesses against marriage. Those who did marry, says Wills, were considered to be weak in faith. [180] At a 1941 convention in Missouri he quoted Rudyard Kipling 's description of women as "a rag and a bone and a hank of hair". [172][181]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joseph_Franklin_Rutherford

17. How have some today followed in the footsteps

of Jesus and Paul, and why can we be sure that Jehovah

appreciates those who make such sacrifices?

17 Today, some have likewise made the

conscious choice to remain single so that

they can better pursue their ministry. Harold,

mentioned earlier, has enjoyed over

56 years in Bethel service. “By the time I

completed ten years at Bethel,” he says, “I

had observed many married couples leaving

Bethel because of sickness or the need to

care for an aging parent. My parents were

both deceased. But I loved Bethel so much

that I did not want to put that privilege

in jeopardy by getting married.” Similarly,

years ago, a longtime pioneer named Margaret

observed: “There have been opportunities

for marriage in my life, but I just never

got around to it. Instead, I was able to use

the extra freedom and mobility that singleness

affords to keep busy in the ministry,

and this has brought me great happiness.”

Surely, Jehovah will never forget any who

make such unselfish sacrifices for true worship.—

Read Isaiah 56:4, 5.

COMMENTS

Who has made a conscious choice to stay single….look around your congregation or your old congregation…did they choose or was there no choice?

Harold…56 years…1954…marriage at Bethel was not allowed…you had to leave Bethel if you wanted to marry. How much preaching did Bethelites do; or did he rather want a safe place to live, monetarily supported by the WTS.

So Margaret couldn’t pioneer as a married woman, with a husband to support her financially. By spending less time at a job, she could have spent more time preaching.

Make the Most of Your Circumstances

18. How can others encourage and support single

Christians?

18 All unmarried Christians who are doing

their best to serve Jehovah deserve

our genuine commendation and encouragement.

We love them for who they are

and for the significant contribution they

make to the congregation. They will never

have to feel lonely if we truly become their

spiritual “brothers and sisters and mothers

and children.”—Read Mark 10:28-30.

COMMENTS

Christians = only jws

Serve Jesus? Where’s Jesus in this picture?

Never feel lonely…so how do married jws reach out, the elders?

When was the last time these were invited to eat at someone’s home, to go to movie, to go to a park….

19. What can you do to make the most of your singleness?

19 Whether you are single by choice or

simply because of circumstances, may these

Scriptural and modern examples assure you

that you can lead a happy and productive

life. Some gifts are eagerly anticipated, while

others are completely unexpected. Some

are immediately appreciated, while others

are valued only over time. Much, then, depends

on our attitude. What can you do to

make the most of your singleness? Draw

closer to Jehovah, have plenty to do in

God’s service, and widen out in your love

for others. Like marriage, singleness can be

rewarding when we view it from God’s perspective

and make wise use of this gift.

COMMENTS

How many are single by choice?

Draw closer to God?

Do You Recall?

In what ways can singleness be a

gift?

How can singleness be a blessing in

youth?

What opportunities do single Christians

have to draw closer to Jehovah

CONCLUDING COMMENTS

Next week, Empowered to Fight Temptation and Cope with Discouragement.

Love, Blondie

darthfader

Thanks Blonde. Great article analysis - I never knew how biased JF Rutherford was against women... sheesh!

I always thought it was funny that all the married Elders in my congregation used to tell me to "Stay Single!"... Maybe they were not really happy with their wifes?

elderelite

Enjoyed as always blondie... Had similar observations, but with anna i it also occured to me that if the best we can say is she "saw" jesus what a sad tribute. The scribes and pharases saw him... I would dare say 10's of thousands perhaps saw him through out his lifetime... But the best the wt can say is that her life of singleness, and we dont know why she choose to remain single, but the best they can say is she saw jesus as a baby. Not very compelling...

mamalove

Good comments. I don't think anyone really listens to these articles anyway. If you meet someone that gets your blood going, in JWland, you are gonna get married. I think these articles just comfort people who have not found a mate and kind of lets them feel like they are doing a good thing by staying single.

My instinct tells me that if you find love, then go for it if it can be done in a healthy way. If not, better to be single than be in a disfunctional relationship that is filled with more sadness than happiness.

jgnat

I also lived many years single, in a church with strict concepts of marriage (unequally yoked). With a higher ratio of women to men and a restriction to marry within the closed system, I saw a lot of dysfunction. In those twenty years, I witnessed two phases of quick marry-offs. The alpha male would pick his "sister" to marry, and the remaining potential couples would quickly pair off after that. The choices, when we got down to the "dregs" became ever more desperate. I chose to remain single rather than accept the ministrations of the unsuitable.

I wonder now, in our efforts not to contaminate our community with alien beliefs, if some of these couples made singularly bad choices in mate (from lack of options). Now who is "uneqeually yoked"? As the barna statistics bear out, the divorce rate in our closed community was about the same as the "world".

The Jehovah's Witnesses face the same dilemma. With a higher proportion of women, girls must pick quickly in their twenties or risk a long single life. We can see this in the pattern of early marriage for the Witnesses. Fast marriage is also encouraged where there is fear of fornication. I suggest this does lead to singularly bad choices in mate. The society may admonish not to "rush" (paragraph 11), but a girl with eyes is going to ignore it.

Mary

What utter garbage. The entire article was written because there are 10 sisters for every brother and, as Blondie already mentioned, the only way to have any sort of social status (which is huge on any JW's list of priorities) is either to be married or become a pioneer. There's absolutely no encouragement to perhaps better yourself with getting a better education (which can boost your self-esteem), there's no mention whatsoever of creating any sort of 'bucket list' of things you've maybe wanted to do all your life but couldn't. And since you're not supposed to get married to anyone outside the religion, or go get laid one night or even masturbate, there must be a whole lot of divorced or widowed JW's who must be pretty damn depressed with not being able to do anything they could do before. They've got no mate to confide in, no one to have sex with, no one to go to the movies with, etc. etc.

The jest of the entire article is simply: If you're unfortunate enough to be single, your only option in life is to pioneer until you either find another mate (chances: slim to none), or till you die.

nugget

there is stark sexism in the organisation. Single sisters do not have the same status or opportunities as single brothers and are not treated as well. The society wants single people since they can donate to the organisation not children or families. It is also disingenuous to suppose that young men mentioned in the Bible remained unmarried it would have been batter to say that at the time of this account they were single. After all in that culture it would have been surprising for them to remain single.

An hour of my life saved thank you Blondie.

LongHairGal

MARY:

I remember an article about singleness years ago that made me so angry I was compelled to write a letter to the JWs. The reply I got back was condescending, stupid and insulting and showed me they never even read my whole letter. This article is more of the same old, same old.

Because there are about 10 sisters for every brother (and I am sure many have more going for them than most of the brothers), any sister who has a desire to meet a man should look outside the religion and not waste her life force sitting in a seat in the kingdom hall and being an object of fake pity or astonishment that she still even attends. It just so happens I was never desperate enough to settle for what some sisters grabbed in desperation.

The reason the religion doesn't want the sisters looking outside the religion is a self-serving one: they are afraid the woman will be encouraged to leave the religion and (last but not least) the religion figures a certain amount of single women will be available to be targeted by the users to do favors. No, they won't be invited to many gatherings, but their phones are sure to ring because somebody wants something.

I just have no tolerance for this crap.

jgnat

What I find fascinating, Mary, is how slight difference in the ratio of women to men will lead to "rush buying".

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_sex_ratio

WTWizard

This is a completely stupid idea. You take the presence of a marriage mate as a gift. So, those without such also have a "gift"--that happens to be the absence of the gift!

This is so blatantly stupid--you are supposed to devote yourself wholly to the Almighty Lowlife Scumbag that deprived you of the real gift. This would be like asking the Filthful and Disgraceful Slavebugger to regard not having any silver as a gift--just as hyperinflation hits full blast. I would simply reply that, just as having silver is a gift, so is not having silver. And, I am hereby giving them the gift of not having any silver--and I expect them to enslave themselves to me for that gift.

I hope people will think about this, even now when the toilet paper dollars have some purchasing power, and realize that not getting anything of value in the Worldwide Pedophile Defense Fund is a gift, just as getting something of value would have been. And I hope people opt to give the gift of not putting anything in that box of any value.

Blondie's Comments You Will Not Hear at the 03-20-11 WT Study (SINGLENESS)

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