I'm approaching this from a legal viewpoint. Unless your mother has dementia, she should handle her own affairs. She is competent enough to loan money, she is competent enough to direct her money. I don't believe it is anyone's business how she handles it. When I was accepted into law school on a full scholarhsip, I needed $100. to reserve my place. I had no $100. because everything went to classes for the law boards. My grandmother gave it to me as a loan. I promptly paid her back. My JW grandmother paved the way so I could go to law school. I doubt she bragged about it at KH.
Even if your mom is ill, it sounds as though she could manage her money with minimal insistence. It is legally and morally wrong to take away her finances from her. She has conrete rights. It must be hard for her to live with a child.
My sister, raised a JW, and married to a fanatical Catholic, cut off all ties to me when I became very seriously ill with facial pain when I was 28. I could not believe that she wanted nothing to do with me b/c I was ill. There was much domestic violence in our family. I was the hero child. She was the baby. This big baby could not even send me a nickel get well card from a Salvation Army store. We did not speak for 30 years. I hung in and did not commit suicide b/c living well is the best revenge. I prayed to Jesus so many times from the very depths of my soul.
Finally, a new treatment emerged. I am now pain free. My life was destroyed. Our mom cared for me all those years. She was too old to continue. I did not need total care. I turned to my sister when the authorities in Ny said they would place me in Spanish Harlem. I ate all my pride and it killed me. She agreed that I move near her so family was present. We have never acknowledge three decades of hateful silence. We talk, barely. I plot to return to NY and a sane life. Beggers can't be choosers.
Not speaking was the worst choice. My sister chose it. I did not. She has a house and husband. I don't despite my myriad achievements negated by illness. It takes two to tango. I feel better taking a higher road. The last thing I will do is validate my sister's behavior or her morals or her character. But when I rage against her, she has me close. When I force myself to let go and focus on me, I soar away from her and her ilk. Yes, I still plan to have the last word in this play. It was all consuming.
Many times I was at death's door. I am a walking miracle. My sister knows nothing. It is strange to relate a horrid drama that had half of Manhattan talking and your sister does not even know it happened. These fractured, abnormal relationships are the work of the WTBTS. I am Anglican and Christian now. I don't consider the Witnesses Christians. They worship the true Satan, IMO. Christ's grace enables me to look beyond the rage. I am not a ployanna. My fury knows no bound.
You don't want to sit down after 30 years and wonder what the hell started it all. I still don't know what started it. Al-Anon talks of detachment and gives members tools to achieve it. Detach is the best advice. Simple concept but hard to do. Take ahigher road.
