Good evening, all...
Still relatively new here so if I'm posting about a topic that's already been run into the ground, I apologize. But I just wanted to acknowledge the typical "demo" we all see at meetings, assemblies and conventions. Even back when I was a good-goody teen dub, my brother, friends and I would jokingly refer to demos as "5-minute Illustrations on How to Say 'NO.'"
The ones that crack me up most are when a single person walks around with a mic in hand, pondering aloud their internal dialogue. We've all seen it. The last one I recall "looked in" (voyerism? ok!) on a brother who just endured a high-pressure sales pitch for "the latest technological gadget" (an obvious jab at the iPhone4). It went something like this:
"WOW! This device can do literally ANYTHING! I can watch my favorite MOVIES, listen to all my MUSIC without carrying all my bulky CDs around, take PICTURES of our trip to unassigned territory (bing!), EMAIL, TEXT, send VIDEOS!!! Why, I can even DOWNLOAD the Watchtower and AWAKE! magazines in mp3 format RIGHT TO THIS DEVICE so I can be up-to-date on all my reading (bing!)! Huh... Brother Spiritual-Enough has one and HE LOVES IT! (scratches head) And Brother and Sister Missionary would LOVE to stay in touch with all of us after being assigned overseas (bing!). Why, I could INSTANTLY ACCESS THEM through this device to share INSTANT UPDATES, INSTANT PHOTOS AND INSTANT VIDEOS (by this time, he is literally SHOUTING into his mic!!! then...the coached change in volume and pensive chin rub-down) ...but... of course, they'd need one of these devices too. I KNOW! I could send them an INVITATION to my MOBILE SOCIAL NETWORK account! Those are accessible to ANYONE, ANYTIME! ANY WHERE!!! I mean, I know the faithful slave WARNS us of using such sites, but it's ONLY for COMMUNICATING with good, spiritual brothers and sisters about spiritual things! What's the harm in THAT? ...of course, Brother Trying Hard DID have problems when his teenage son was seen engaging in unwholesome messaging on HIS account. And DIDN'T he upload some rather inappropriate pictures from a recent Witness gathering? That sure caused a lot of heartache for Brother Trying Hard... but I'M not going to do THAT stuff! NO WAY! Buuuuut...I wiiiiilll have to figure out how I'm going to PAY for this though. My wife wants to start regular auxillary pioneering next month. Hmmm... I COULD charge it to a CREDIT CARD. Yeah... but THAT would just add more debt to our budget and WE want to eventually pay off ALL debt so we can be like Brother and Sister Missionary! (bing!)
...WOW. (looks down, shakes head) What was I THINKING? How much TIME would I spend on this device? Sure it's convenient, but as SOON as I buy it, there will be an even BETTER model hitting the shelves a day later! (laughter and nudging from the pious in the audience). And what kind of EXAMPLE would I be setting for the YOUNGER ones if I had an active social network account? Why, I may even be sent PORNOGRAPHIC MATERIAL by mistake!!! I guess I really DO need to re-evaluate my thinking on material things. The amount of money and time lost to a device like this could be put to MUCH BETTER USE in Kingdom Service to Jehovah. That's it, I'm calling my wife (beep beep beep): 'Honey, I'm NOT buying this device.'"
(Thunderous applause)
Please submit YOUR paradies of this style of demonstration! I can't wait to see some creative satire! DAZZLE me