Did having children make you a better or worse JW

journey-on

After I had children, I changed gradually in the way I thought about the religion I was raised in. One day, it dawned on me that if my child was injured in an accident and needed blood to survive, there was no way in the world I would say "no" to a blood transfusion. Why continue the charade? One more reason to just fade out.

boyzone

Having children made me a better JW but a lousy parent

Aussie Oz

Thats a hard one for me, and something i wrestle with still time to time.

As a childless couple, we made great JWs and i guess on the outside we were still great JWs with kids. Everyone thought we were the 'couple most likely to succede...But for me, having kids made the world crumble slowly. Was it to do with the JWs? I dont know. What i do know is that i didnt cope with my changed role as a man. I was made 4th wheel by the wife and my input was not wanted nor valid in the relationship anymore. Mother bear came out to raise kids and i was nothing more than a paycheck and tag team parent when i got home.

Trying and failing to live up to my role as a father and ministerial servant led me to depression and self destruction. I imploded, did things i ought not have done, and left her, the kids and the religion in the space of a week.

A shrink onced asked her and i how we might have been if we had not had children. My then wifes reply said it all; " he would be fine and i would be the screwed up mess."

Its the only part of my path i wish i could have changed.

oz

edit: I guess leaving made me a better parent in that when i did see the kids, i was more tuned to them My wife lamented once that my relationship was better with then since leaving than it was before. Leaving and becoming worldly and wanting to be accepted made me conscious of doing what i could to balance out the WT side of their life. After 10 years of that i found this site and that changed me again in what and how i deal with my kids too.

AnnOMaly

My wanting children was partly due to recognizing that I may grow old and die in this system, and a sense that I would bitterly regret it if I hadn't at least tried to have kids.

Once kids came along, especially when they started school and I was remembering and comparing my own childhood JW experiences, I began to re-evaluate the reasons why certain stands were taken, whether they were really scripturally necessary, the effect on the kids, etc. All this coincided with my own awakening anyway, but to answer the thread question, I guess having kids made me a worse JW.

Paralipomenon

I was content to support my wife being a witness until our children started going to school. I really couldn't submit them to the riddicule of not standing for the national anthem, concerts, missing birthdays and christmas when I knew I didn't believe it.

Eventually I was sure they wouldn't be part of the witnesses, but I didn't want to sit back and let the religion poison their childhood when I could do something to stop it.

Making a stand nearly destroyed our marriage but it all ended well.

Vidiot

Made me a "worse" JW 'cause it contributed significantly to my fade...

Made me a better man and human being, though.

I hope.

BurnTheShips

Having children enabled me to stop being a JW.

I was willing to put up with the crap myself, but no way in hell was I going to allow it for my kids.

BTS

Gayle

I became a 'worse' JW, because having children made me start deeply 'thinking.' The 'Armaggedon' pictures became a very inappropriate picture to show little children. It hit me if the meetings were so boring to me, no wonder the meetings would be so boring for my little children. My childhood came back for review being raised a JW since 9 yrs old. It hit me how burdensome it what, all the rules, all the stands of issues, little issues, hard issues, even though I was totally obedient to it all. It hit me that I would never 'shun' my children no matter what. The stack of questioning grew and I was driven to try to figure it all out. I realized I would have to answer to my children some day if it wasn't true.

leavingwt

Having children is probably what waked me the ______ up and allowed me to exit the cult.

Specifically, my second unborn child was going to need an injection of red blood cells, before tests revealed that everything was normal. This shook me to my core and allowed me to indulge my doubts about WT dogma.

minimus

Interesting question.

In some ways, just becoming a parent, is a learning experience. There were pros and cons being in a restricted but loving family. I NEVER had issues with my daughter. She was a good kid. I was an elder but I was more "reasonable" than some other parents.

Did having children make you a better or worse JW

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