In all honesty...

by Nephilim 11 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  Nephilim

  In all honesty… The blokes that thought up this whole scheme in the first place truly have won. They got their money. They had their power. In my mind they got exactly what they wanted.

  Me personaly… I blame a lot on the way that I was raised. I see the damage to my family and friends. I have material possessions but I was always taught that they weren’t worth much.

  Where do we go from here? What do we have left? It is truly an empty feeling. I truly don’t know where to turn to.

  I’m a long time lurker… and a person who may be forever alone.
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  Nice_Dream

  Sometimes I feel the same as you. I was born in to this and have a warped view of the real world. Someone posted this book: Taking Back Your Life: Recovering from Cults and Abusive Relationships by Janja Lalich. Hoping this will help, and if not I was planning on seeing a therapist to help me move forward with my life. Like you, I'm not sure where to go, or what there is to live for sometimes, but I remain hopeful and try to be in the moment and enjoy the little things in life.
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  Black Sheep

  A problem for us 'born-ins' is that we don't have a pre-cult personality to revert to.

  Put yourself out there and join some clubs and groups that might interest you.

  Others in our communities get on ok without ever having been JWs. We are just late starters.

  Cheers

  Chris
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  transhuman68

  Sometimes in life you do hit rock bottom, but this is a good time to think through where you want to be in ten years time, or what you want to be remembered for when you are gone. When you become the person you want to be, or live the life you really want to live without giving up or backing down, then that's as good as anyone has it. Sometimes it takes a while to sort through all the bullsh*t though!
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  Robdar

  Where do we go from here? What do we have left? It is truly an empty feeling. I truly don’t know where to turn to.

  What are your interests? You can go anywhere you wish and do whatever you wish. The Earth is a big, beautiful place. And believe it or not, there are some very nice people on it.

  I’m a long time lurker… and a person who may be forever alone.

  Aw, bless your heart. I promise you will NOT be forever alone. The transition you are going through is rough but it is only a transition. Take good care of yourself because there are some wonderful things waiting for you. When you feel better and more stable these things are bound to come to you. Disregard what the WTS told you about what God wants-- they couldn't have been more wrong. Jehovah wants you to enjoy your life. Eventually you will.
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  wobble

  Come on Neph,

  You are a big boy, it is in your genes, (woops aren't your lot hybrids, you know, fire blanks?) anyway, all you need to do is take the advice above, consciously slough off the WT snake skin of thoughts and feelings, and get on with your exciting, free, everything in front of you life !

  The world is an exciting place, full of beauty and lovely people and opportunity and love.

  Go get it Big Boy !
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  Ding

  Regarding spiritual matters, assess where you are right now.

  Do you still believe in God?

  You don't have an organization to tell you what to believe any more, so you need to study things out for yourself.

  If you want to ask questions at churches or other places of worship, most are willing to explain what they believe and why.

  If you want to sound out people on the board to make sure you aren't trading in one mind control cult for another, feel free.
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  alias

  I'm a born-in too, and hear ya. Here's a :::hug::: for you, because at times you will feel forever alone, but in reality, you have some wonderful opportunities for new beginnings, PLUS a unique and compassionate understanding for anyone else coming out of a similiar situation. You'll make an awesome friend to many, believe me! :) (Bookmark this thread and come back to it in a few years, you'll see.)

  Black Sheep is right about the pre-cult personality thing. When I began my fade (about 15 years ago), the first thing I had to figure out was where "I" began and the organization ended. I didn't know if I was "me" because of the religion or because of my personality, environment, temperment, etc. Naturally, all those things contribute to who I am, but, there's a continuity essence of who I am outside of the JW box.

  With patience and time and making new connections and giving/taking support in venues like this (like the mirroring validation from others on this DB) I started learning who I was without the JW culture. I also had to do that with the concept of "Jehovah" and the organization. When I walked away, it all weirdly seemed bundled up as one entity, which was an interesting revelation and learning for me.

  I'm also reading that book by Janja Lalich mentioned above and it is helping me immensely right now. I have family and a spouse still in, which I don't anticipate changing (they have the right to their own beliefs as do I), but I can work on myself. Keep talking/writing/processing and feeling whatever you need to. It's all real and necessary. And you're in good company.

  alias
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  PSacramento

  I really feel for those that are born-in to the whole JW thing, truly.

  The only thing I can suggets is this, for those that have left you need to realize that the whole way of looking at things is what kept you in as long as you were in.

  Moderation is the key, you need to understand the different POV's and admit to yourself that it is up to YOU and no one else.

  It's gonna be hard because it s far easier to be an "extremists" than to be an open minded moderate, truly.

  As a JW you had this absolute belief that you were right and that anyone else of an opposing view point was wrong and it is THAT kind of reasoning that kept you in it and it is THAT type of reasoning that will make you make the same mistake over and over again.

  You will see many former JW's become atheists or even join another "fundamentalist" expression of religion, agian that " I am right and you are wrong" predominate view point that makes one stay a JW for so long.

  Change THAT attitutude and things will be far clearer for you.
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  punkofnice

  Where do we go from here? What do we have left?

  I sympathise totally after being 50 years and raised in the filthy cult!

  Don't worry about the 'where else will you go?' junk. If your house was on fire you wouldn't sit and wait for another to come on the market before moving. You run!

  Take time to find your level as water will find it's own level.

  What's left? Loads. Freedom to investigate anything you choose. Keep an open mind and don't feel you have to rush into anything.

  It'll all be clearer in time!