after 40 years I guess I am being shunned

by Giordano 16 Replies latest jw friends

  • Giordano

    Well thanks to this site I have come to realize I am being shunned........I think. I find this really funny because my wife and I were never Df or DA, and we walked out in the late 1960's. And no one in the family ever shunned us.

    Without making too much out of it My niece has not invited us to visit and meet our new nephew. My ex brother in law has made himself unavailable for lunch dates. And returns my emails with one sentence replies (it's usually about simple family matters). Since no one seemed to care I told my wife that it felt strange that the only family I have left has closed their door to me, must have been one too many witness arguments in the past I said.

    So about six months ago My son and his wife and our 8 month old granddaughter decided to throw a house warming party (they had moved into the area). He invited his cousin and Uncle etc. and I figured they would decline.

    I was shocked and pleased when they walked into my son's house. I was even more shocked to see how pleased they were to be there. The hugs my wife and I got were real as was the affection. I puzzled over the experience untill I found this site. My take is that something changed a couple of years ago and they had to withdraw. My non witnesses son (that's his inheritance) gave them the cover to meet with us again.

    Anybody experience a sudden shift after years of reasonable family contact?

  • badcompany

    Yes...the society changes policy on shunning fairly frequently (every 3-5 years or so). I too never understood my family's schizophrenic attitude towards me until I found this site. Now I can anticipate a shift before my parents even know they are going to treat me differently. Thanks, JWN!

  • Violia

    It is like the Sodom and Gomorah , will they be resurrected , shifting policy. I can't even recall how many times they changed their mind about that and what the current view is. Perhaps like the weather in Texas, wait a while, it will change.

  • NewChapter

    What are the guidlines now? I just recently noticed that no one has been talking to me, and that a lot of them removed me from FB. I'm not DA or DF, but suddenly, I wasn't on their radar anymore. It took a while for me to really notice, since I do often avoid them. Suddenly I realized, HEY, I'M NOT AVOIDING THEM, THEY ARE AVOIDING ME! FOUL! LOL

    Anyway, I was wondering if something had changed very recently. I haven't been to a meeting in 2 years (maybe more, I lost track) and I haven't worked out in service for 3, but that never stopped them before. In an earlier post, I even wondered if an announcement went out without them telling me. I thought it was possible, because there was a clearly "unscriptural" situation here at my home, and I live next door to an elder. Still, I would think they would have tried to talk to me.

    I've been working on what I will say in order to avoid DF if it should come to it. But if they aren't going to talk to me anyway, then I won't even bother. It is F---ing EXHAUSTING trying to keep up with the new rules. Refreshingly, the rules of Atheism--oh wait, there are no rules! I'm free.

    This may be my last post for a few hours, I'm at my limit again, but I would appreciate any updates the shunning category.

  • looloo

    yes my hubby was disfellowshipped years ago 15 in fact but was only told about 2 years ago to stop going to his parents house as it was "difficult " for his mother and pioneer brother and sister , his dad hasnt attended for years and was once an elder but it was him who asked my husband not to go anymore , weird ! when i wrote to them a bit of a stroppy letter , they changed minds though but the damadge was done by then and my hubby no longer is interested in them being in his life or our childs , very sad !

  • jj123jj123

    This is from the Feb 15, 2011 Watchtower page 32:

    By cutting off contact with the disfellowshipped
    or disassociated one, you are
    showing that you hate the attitudes and actions
    that led to that outcome.However, you
    are also showing that you love the wrongdoer
    enough to do what is best for him or
    her. Your loyalty to Jehovah may increase
    the likelihood that the disciplined one will
    repent and return to Jehovah.

    19 One individual who was disfellowshipped
    and was later reinstated wrote: “I
    am happy that Jehovah loves his people
    enough to see that his organization is kept
    clean. What may seem harsh to outsiders is
    both necessary and really a loving
    thing to do.”

  • designs

    JJ- Thanks for the update (now I know which cycle they are in). I have one JW, childhood friend, that still calls regularly other than him is zip nadda like I never existed. Of course the last full scale contact from a few years ago was an all out witch hunt so I guess everybody got their jollies out then.

  • villabolo

    I would not give two cents for someone who goes back and forth in their so called 'love' based on the whim of a magazine article. That is the type of person who would sell you out in a totalitarian state and have you railroaded into a concentration camp.


  • moshe

    It amazes me how JWs think they can shun family and then decide after a period of shunning to have social relations with them like nothing has happened. Perhaps they recently had a change of heart towards the WT religion- we can always hope.

  • AK - Jeff
    AK - Jeff

    They are just asses IMO - family or non-family. It is deplorable that they treat people like that. I am ashamed to have ever born the name of that religion.


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