Did you have a relationship with...

by stillin9 30 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Giordano

    On occasion I felt a slight one way connection, later on I realized I got the same but better 'spiritual' experience out on a trout stream. Just as cities make me feel disconnected standing in a stream fishing connects the dots for me (I'm not that interested in fishing but found that people get uncomfortable seeing a guy standing in wast deep water doing nothing).

    Music does that as well , so does exercise and sex or a great martini. Endorphins have a way of kicking in and giving you a spiritual connection.

    For some I guess prayer works for me that's the equivalent of talking into a dead phone.

  • AGuest

    Not really, dear stillin (peace to you!). I mean, I thought I had some kind of a relationship because (1) I prayed/"spoke" to Him, often, and (2) the WTBTS said I did. Even so, it was pretty much one way. Which didn't really bother me because that's how folks said it was supposed to be. What DID bother me was that I didn't have a relationship with His Son. Given that that One was supposed to be my Leader, that that one "gave" his life for me, that that One was "king" of the kingdom, that that One was supposedly the One who "destroyed" folks at "Armageddon"... I felt it strange that I didn't really know much about HIM... except that he was said to be kind, loving, compassionate, etc.

    When we were studying the "Greatest Man" book, however, I became confused. How could someone be so loving as to give his life for the world (yet, only for JWs), yet was going to destroy a whole bunch of folks (yet, give life to a whole bunch), etc., etc., etc. I was sitting in the KH during an afternoon BS and remember thinking, there's something "wrong" here - which is the TRUTH? And I remember saying a little prayer to "Jehovah" to the gist of, "Look, it seems to ME that if your Son did all of these good things, I should know him, too. But I don't. And I don't know what's true. Please, send me YOUR truth. I want to know the TRUTH."

    About three weeks later... that truth came to me... in the person of the Son, the Holy One of Israel, my Lord, JAHESHUA MISCHAJAH (John 14:6; 8:32, 36). He did not come alone. Two voices actually called me - I won't go into great detail about that event but let's just say I ignored them both several times (I was thinking either I was losing my mind or being toyed with by "demons"). One voice, a very kind, gentle voice, asked me several times, "Why don't you answer?" So, finally I did. And the rest is history.

    From that day on I absolutely have had a personal relationship with God... by means of having a VERY personal relationship with His Son and Christ. Who is the Holy Spirit. I was told that both were present (and there were two voices, so...) but when I asked if I could speak to God and ask Him some things, one of the voices said, "No one comes through the Father except through me." When I asked who HE was... he said, "I am the Christ." When I asked why he was there, he said "Because you asked for me." When I denied that... he took me back to that day in the KH... to the instant that I actually had asked... for the "Truth". Ohhhhhhh... And so I asked the Son if I could ask HIM... and he said that I could ask him anything. And he was right. I've only asked one question in more than 15 years that he could not answer at the time. He since answered, however, almost 15 years later.

    Since then, I have learned both of their names (when He first spoke, the Father said, "I am the One known to you as "Jehovah" - I since learned that is NOT His name, at all!)... and how they think (with some limitation as to the Father, of course). What they did/do and did/do not do. And so much more.

    Why me? I asked and my Lord said it was because I had faith... enough to respond WHEN they called. I had called their bluff... pushed through my skepticism... and answered. When he told me that I had such faith, I first became very sad. I thought, "Well, if I have faith... where in the world is the REST of folks?" I was thinking about Brother So and So, and Sister Thus and So, and Elder Whatshisname, etc. It actually frightened me. I got over my fright, however, and actually started to get a little cocky - "Hey, I've got FAITH!" To which my Lord cautioned me and said, "You have faith because I gave you faith, child." So, I learned that while I had enough to hear the call and respond... that was pretty much it: he gave me what I needed to go beyond that (i.e., believe it WAS him and the Father... as well as put faith in what I heard from him after).

    I am not alone - there are many others like me. Why don't they declare it as I do? Couple reasons: (1) I am just more vocal. (2) I am less concerned with being called/considered crazy (I don't fear man or what he says about me - I really am that secure in myself). (3) It is not glory from man that I'm interested in or seek (man's "criteria" is too high for me and it's "end" keeps moving, so I could never reach it, anyway); (4) I am a bit more foolish than most.

    So, there you have it, the short version. I hope it helps, if for nothing more than to help you see that Christ, who IS alive... truly... does speak. So many give that kind of credit to Satan and demons... but not to the Holy One of Israel and Holy Spirit. Which is fascinating to me.

    Again, I bid you peace!

    YOUR servant and a slave of Christ,


  • confuzzled777

    Stillin9, this is a great question......Before my current state of mine, I always felt like I could turn to Jah when I needed someone to talk to. I never felt like my relationship with him was as close as some, but felt like he was always there for me to vent to. Otherwise I would just be talking to myself......lol I guess I least I felt like someone was "listening" to my deepest thoughts and emotions.

    "It was never Jehovahs fault, he never changed in his love, it has always been there."

    Truth and Justice, thanks for the food for thought..... this comes at a time where I have not prayed to God for a good long while. I have been SO angry and SO hurt over what happened with me, that it has caused doubt whether or not Jehovah is the God that I have been taught about.

  • clarity

    Stillin9, good morning,

    I am thinking about your question as I slurp my coffee, and ...hmm, yes in the beginning I felt I believed in god.

    But those 'feelings' I now realize, came, more from the people that studied with me ... than from god.

    As they told me of all god was going to do ... protect me, bless me, make the pain of childbirth go away (ha ha haha - oh sorry), won't let me die at armageddon, solve every problem for me, I was so glad.

    Well as time went on and these blessings just weren't happening, it did feel like "talking into a dead phone". (Giordano.) Finding out that god saves jw's, only asa class, not individuals! ..... really wrecked 'our' relationship!lol

    Finally realized that, if a relationship to God, is based on someone elses promises ...it is worthless.

    Now my faith is shaped by words of Christ in the New Testament, by the reappearing sun, the daffodils in spring, the smell of fresh turned earth, by the way an onion grows, by red apples on a tree, by a new baby's birth.

    Yes now, as I look out at the night sky .... I do see God.


  • Vanderhoven7

    And this is life eternal, that they might know thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast sent. John 17:3

    Knowing God is not a matter of knowing every verse in the Bible or "taking in" WTS "knowledge". To know God, one needs to have a personal revelation from the Spirit of God. The role of the Holy Spirit is to reveal Father and Son to those open to such revelation....those that recognize their spiritual poverty, mourn over it and in childlike meekness, hunger and thirst after righteousness. (See the Be-Attitudes in Matthew 5.)

    Knowledge of God is relational; it involves two-way communication. Knowing Jesus is the same. That's why He can call us to Himself. JWs cannot come to their created angel and unburden their hearts to him, because that would constitute spiritism. And how can one legitimately say they have a relationship with someone they have never talked to or communicated with? That's an open-ended question, not a conclusion.

    One thing is clear - JWs are not permitted to have a biblically normative relationship with Jesus Christ.


  • thetrueone

    did you ever really have a relationship with Jehovah?

    Yes I did at once, but he asked me to go on a murdering and raping campaign so I had to break it off.

    Shockingly shortly after his invitation he killed all the earth's inhabitants with the exception of one family in

    a world wide global flood. Glad I didn't participate in that. sheesh

  • mamalove

    No, not really. I did as I was told and I have an active imagination. The concept of a god is very obtuse for me right now. I more or less feel like there is a certain energy about the universe. But, times when I revert to whatever is stuck in my head, I sometimes halfway in jest to myself say, God, if you are out there, throw me a bone please.....blah blah Kind of sad that I only do that when I need help with something.

  • Botzwana

    No I didn't. So I am making a REALDOLL of him that I can cuddle with every night...

  • clarity


  • Sam Whiskey
    Sam Whiskey

    Yes, I did. He was/is very real. He answered, and continues to answer my prayers when I needed help. I thank Him for the life I've got and go to him in prayer whether I need His help or not. I don't want Him to feel that I'm just using him for my personal benefit whenever I need to get bailed out of a jam. I treat Him like a real father, he treats me like a son.

    It's a very good relationship actually....

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