I'm feeling disappointed now

by Nobleheart 29 Replies latest jw friends

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  Nobleheart

  I've been in this board for 2 months now, and have read and researched enough to know that what I thought was the one and only true religion isn't actually true. Finding out real facts has brought me severe disillusion and sadness.

  As a JW I was taught that we were special in view of John 6:44 " No man can come to me unless the Father, who sent me, draws him; and I will resurrect him in the last day.". If there were 1000 random people picked out in the world, I was the only one God looked down with approval. I felt He had personally drawn me into his wonderful organization, and chosen me to survive this world, and never die.

  Now I know that God didn't actually select me out of 1000 random people to gain everlasting life. And He definitely didn't draw me into his wonderful organization, the one true faith.

  When I came to know the truth about the WT, I was disappointed, mad and angry at the GB for propagating and enforcing false teachings. Now I'm a bit angry with God (I'm still a believer though). How could He not see that I was sincere and wanted to be part of his people (if he has a chosen group on earth). Why did he allow me to become part of a false organization?

  This has been bothering me for some time now. I had to let it out.

  I don't know if others in this board have had these feelings. How did you rationalize them and were you able to repair your relationship with God?
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  james_woods

  I don't know if others in this board have had these feelings. How did you rationalize them and were you able to repair your relationship with God?

  I think practically everyone here who left the JWs had these feelings.

  I won't sugarcoat it: I rationalized the question and found out that I no longer needed or believed in the God or Religion concept. Questioning the Watchtower religion eventually made me question all religions.

  Others have been happy after just finding a new religion.

  It really is up to the individual.
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  straightshooter

  I felt that my relationship with God improved when I became a jw and I feel that my relationship with God has improved not being a jw. I love Him because I want to and not because I am told I have to. I have a clearer picture of His requirements, showing that He really cares about me.
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  sd-7

  I struggle with that every day. I think I probably still believe in God, but am open-minded about the possibilities. I like Christianity and prefer the freedom of reading and/or studying the scriptures without any group of people trying to tell me what they mean. I've had a lot of eye-opening moments just reading the Bible on my own. Since you still believe in God, I encourage you to do that--read the Bible on your own.

  Paul's letters are very helpful in clearing away notions of a Governing Body, or proving your worth by how much work you do (or how many hours you put in) rather than through faith in Christ, and even something as simple as the use of the name Jehovah. One of his letters to the Thessalonians, for example, even in the NWT, mentions Jesus or Christ 6 times as much as the name Jehovah. Clearly, true Christians were centered on Jesus Christ and not fixated on the divine name, like it or not. (I found a very interesting discussion on the use of Jehovah in the New Testament of the New World Translation in a book the Society quotes from, Jason David BeDuhn's "Truth in Translation", which has an entire appendix devoted to the subject.)

  Some of it is just...learning to heal. Perhaps there are other religious options for you. But the most important thing is that whatever you choose, it will be YOUR choice, and no one else's. That freedom is the greatest gift of all and the greatest benefit of waking up to reality.

  --sd-7
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  undercover

  How did you rationalize them and were you able to repair your relationship with God?

  Once rational thought takes completely over there is no need for an imaginary relationship with unproven invisible creatures.
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  snowbird

  For me, it was the other way around.

  Because I couldn't keep up with all the demands of being a zealous JW, I felt like I had let God down.

  Now, I know that He doesn't give a flying fig about organizations, meetings, field service, etc.

  It is I - and you - that matter to Him.

  Syl
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  LostGeneration

  I agree with JamesWoods, we have all been there at some point. Did you convert or were you born in? As a born in, I always felt the suffocation of the JW religion just did not fit my personality, I never felt "chosen" by God growing up, I just felt the intense pressure of a fundamentalist Christian religion.

  A few months after leaving, the peace that came with the mental freedom was astounding. Its like a pillow had been held over my brain for 30+ years and I was finally able to fight off my attacker.
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  tec

  Now I'm a bit angry with God (I'm still a believer though). How could He not see that I was sincere and wanted to be part of his people (if he has a chosen group on earth). Why did he allow me to become part of a false organization?

  You weren't listening to God, or to His Son. I don't mean that to sound harsh. NONE of us were listening to Him. Because its even in black and white, that this organization was not HIS organization.

  Men misled you, and lied to you, and they were able to mislead you because people have taught us that we should listen to men/teachers to guide us into the truth (the right organization) instead of listening to Christ and having Him and Him only (besides God) as our teacher, truth, head.

  And this - being subject to the teachings of our fathers - is how the children pay for the sins of the fathers to the third and fourth generation, etc, etc... imho. Because we keep our children from considering anything other than what we teach them - out of our own ignorance, based on what our parents taught us, and so on and so on.

  But both the jw's and other organizations have unbiblical practices, which should have served as a warning to us also - especially since the WTS is supposed to be biblically based. For the jw's:

  "So if anyone tells you, 'There he is, out in the desert,' do not go out; or, 'Here he is, in the inner rooms,' do not believe it..." Matthew 24:26.

  No one can honestly say that this applies to everyone else, EXCEPT for them.

  For most of the rest of organizations: calling priests and such, father, teacher, etc... which Christ said that none were to call them, forgiveness that comes only through the absolution of a priest, etc. This is sort of, in essence, taking the seat of Christ.

  So in repairing a relationship, I think, would begin perhaps at taking responsibility for not having listened to Him, but rather to men claiming to speak for him instead.

  (Again, I'm not trying to be harsh or judgmental. I did the EXACT same thing.)

  Tammy
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  pirata

  My first post on this board was asking others if they prayed to God to help them to know if the JWs were they right religion, and if not, who was.

  No one, who replied, felt that they got an answer. I don't feel I have had an answer. I don't know why, if God wants us to worship him in this way or that way, there are a hundreds of Christian groups (not to mention other religions), that all disagree with each other, yet feel that their way is the right way. This has led me to the conclusion that they're all pretty much giving their best guesses like the Governing Body is. Is the instructions manual not clear enough? Possibly.

  In terms of Christianity, tight now I'm learning towards what I call the "independent Christianity" model, where there are good Christians in all regligions, Christians are personally responsible to God, not some organization's standards, which includes interpreting the Bible for oneself (instead of letting some other humans do it for you). This view has been shaped by the excellent book, "In Search of Christian Freedom" by Ray Franz, and by some of the other Christians in this board.

  In parallel I am starting to put the Bible through the same anlalysis as I have the Jehovah's Witness beliefs and find myself learning towards agnosticism and/or humanism.
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  james_woods

  Now, I know that He doesn't give a flying fig about organizations, meetings, field service, etc.

  Still fixated on figs, Sylvia?

  OK, now continue with the topic at hand...