Part 1: Breaking Ground with Crisis of Conscience

by Amazing 34 Replies latest jw experiences

  • zev
    zev

    amazing,

    i know i don't "say" a whole lot on your threads...

    but i do look foward to and read every one of them.

    thanks for posting these....and especially this one.

    -Zev
    Learn about the Wtbts and the U.N.
    ** http://www.geocities.com/plowbitch69 **

  • orangefatcat
    orangefatcat

    Excellent Reading Amazing, The book is fantastic and your feelings are projected beautifully. I recently purchased this book my self and with every page a new feeling erupts in me to think that I spent 38 years bottled in a religion that is not based in truth or honesty.
    My heart leaps up and down when i read the rationalization and the relization that JW's are swallowed in to a deep chasm of darkness. You wish you could scream from roof tops the things you find out. I have no yet finished the book as many know it is thick reading. I look forward to reading your next portion. May it be as enlightening as this is. it is like I always say Procrastination is the thief of time and boy have I lost a lot of time, no more though. I am now liberated and free to the relization that we have found out before it is to late. Brovo Amazing

  • jan
    jan

    im looking forward to reading part 2...your words hit home with me i also had rays book ordered into our small library here where i live and felt so afraid that i was going to get caught at the counter checking it out or leaving with rays book...it opened my eyes to what the wts is all about...i have since d.a'd myself and have been on the road to healing....im taking with me the good things that have come out of my relationship with the organization, and trying to forget the bad..... yfic, janette

  • ThiChi
    ThiChi

    Wow, I could have changed the dates and made your story my own! I too, kept going to meetings after COC, thinking “where else can we go?” Also, I thought the Jws where right on many of their doctrines, so why not just keep going.

    I look forward to your next installment. Ray’s second book, ISOCF, killed all the JW doctrines for me and that was it for meetings.

    “We all fell down from the milky way, hanging around here for the judgement day, heaven only knows who’s in command.”- Jimmy Buffet

  • Martini
    Martini

    Hi Amazing,
    Great stuff,as you said this personal account is just what the Doctor ordered for all the newbies that will come on this board to read!

    The factual understanding that Ray Franz brought to the open was very upsetting to me. It was relieving and crushing all at the same time ... like my soul was being ripped in half. At times, I found myself laughing and then crying – I even vomited once – For the next two weeks, I was shaken with bouts of depression. But somehow, maybe because I was stunned, I really don’t know, I just did not know what to do, or how to do it.


    Again I had a similar reaction, although I did not actually vomit!Careful this may play into the JW lingo that you are now rolling in your vomit! hehehe
    We owe alot to Ray Franz. Thanks Amazing for bringing up all this info.Keep up the great writing.

    Martini

  • David Gladden
    David Gladden

    Excellent writing!

    I remember when I was still a JW. Sometimes I would happen across an "apostate" book at the library. I would instinctively get VERY nervous and shaky - to the point that I could barely look at the book among the others.

    I once got up the courage to actually thumb through a book. I remember that I instinctively rejected EVERYTHING in the book - all lies and distortions! I didn't even put a single thought into it - it was all lies and distortions.

    It wasn't until after I DAed myself that I started to read material without the self imposed "OrgThink". It took time, but I finally got to the point that I could read things without getting nervous and shaky.

    Now here I am… eagerly anticipating the opportunity to meet Ray Franz in person at the Dallas Apostafest!

  • gumby
    gumby

    Great piece!
    Boy how similar many of us have felt upon reading COC!
    You thru-up, and I fell to my knees on the kitchen floor and cried my eyes out when it started sinking in that this was not the truth.

    Mixed emotions, ups and downs, and a lot of anger.
    You want to tell all you know that are witnesess and you can't say anything.

    Then comes the hard part......what is the truth?
    You now have to start on this journey to find out what the bible really teaches on ALL the things that you now question.

    It's a tough road but well worth the travel if you do it right.

  • STRUGGLE
    STRUGGLE

    Excellent piece. I really enjoyed reading it. I am at that point of having my eyes open, but where would I go? One thing I know is, I am not the same person I was before. In a sense I was so naive.

    Thank you for the story Amazing. That is what you are!

    Oh yes I am at that point where you were in the library. Do I dare venture and read the C of C. I have not read it yet. My name says it all.

  • TMS
    TMS

    Amazing,

    The “order now” icon on Amazon.com was a point of no return for me. After getting a feel for the tone of the book by reading a free chapter on the internet, it was a baby step to at least see if it was available at Amazon. As a noted cheapskate, the fact that it was reasonably priced . . . . .

    It took me 36 hours, sandwiched around two work shifts to finish CofC. I recall my wife saying she hated it whenever I got a book as I shut everyone else out till I finished it.

    Much as we used to speak of men like Moses, David, Jeremiah as having credibility because of not glossing over their errors, foibles and rebellions, Ray obviously gave a true account.

    Reading CofC reinforced the feelings I already had. The material is NOT why I am not a JW today.

    Thank you, Amazing, for sharing.

    TMS

  • Amazing
    Amazing

    Thanks everyone for the good reviews. It sounds like many of us share very common experiences in making our exit ... or at least in our initial decision to read Crisis of Conscience. It still makes me feel strange thinking of controlled we were ... how much fear we were under ... and yet we did not really see this until we begin to search ... and now, looking back, I wonder how we lasted as long as we did in the JW environment.

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