Hmmm...Doesn't the new elders book address separation and says something to the effect it is not the elders job to judge married couples who choose to separate?
WTBTS Downplays Marital Problems Among JWs
why are we surprised in the organisation young people marry too young so it is no wonder these relationships don't last. I was shocked to discover how many couples in the congregation had sex before marriage or committed adultery. The divorce rate has become shocking and appears higher than in any other group I know. In recent years of 8 weddings we were invited to 6 ended in divorce, 2 involved affairs but stayed together. I would suggest that the whole JW ethos on marriage is rotten to the core. I can also think of a number of people who stay together and are truly miserable but can't see any way out.
It was 5 years before 1975 and my contemporaries in the circuit were all getting married, sometimes 3 weddings a weekend. You see the rumor was that there would be no marriage or children allowed for those who survived the GT.
There were over 100 marriages...I kept track of everyone....by last year only 2 were still married...shaky though. I checked on line and these last 2 filed for divorce this year and were finalized last month........
When my husband was an elder, he commented on all the divorces. He was told that if the divorce was initiated when either spouse was out of the organization it did not count against the WTS.
When we were at Bethel in the temp program there were 20 of us couples, of those 20 there were at least 7 that divorced while at Bethel or shortly after they left.
I agree with zid that the way woman are treated it was really gets to one. The PO's wife in the hall where I stopped going was always getting to close to this single brother right in front of everyone in the hall. I when we first got to the hall I was shocked but everyone including the PO and the single brother just treated her like she was special and thought it was cute. Crazy was what it was.
WT society downplays ANYTHING happening within their ranks which might bring negative attention to their organization. Bad marriages, child abuse, people dying from not taking blood transfusions, etc. The list goes on and on
My first introduction to domestic violence was when I began associating with the JWs.
While my own parents did not always get on the best, I had never seen anything remotely like that sort of thing at home;
- quite a culture shock to a boy just turned 17!
The JW lifestyle is not exactly family friendly to start with. Combine that with their attitude to women, and something has to break.
(In this particular case, the wife had definite ideas about running the show herself - and the counsel of one certain elder was that
her husband should, to quote, "clobber her" in order to establish his "headship").
Needless to say, that did a fat lot of good!
These days, I feel like kicking myself when I realize that I knew many non-JW couples who had more happy and stable marriages than most of the JWs I knew.
They suppress these problems. You can separate if you are having problems, but you cannot remarry without getting in trouble unless the other partner does adultery first. The hounders even tell abused wives to stay with abusive husbands, despite that it is a pattern of abuse and not just an isolated event. Threats of not being allowed to remarry and/or getting disfellowshipped are made, holding these bad marriages together. This in turn provides the illusion of these marriages being more stable than they actually are.
All of which could have been prevented if premarital sex among engaged couples was permitted. They should have been allowed UNCHAPERONED time together alone. If they were a bad match, that would be manifest during this period, and the couple could break off the engagement before finalizing it. I believe couples seriously thinking of getting engaged could and should be allowed to spend UNCHAPERONED time together. That way, if they are a bad match, they could cancel the whole thing with minimal loss.
Addtionally, how often the religion comes between couples. You start off with a good match, and their every move is watched by Brother Hounder. They are pushed to pio-sneer, give up their decent jobs, and donate to the Worldwide Pedophile Defense Fund. Results: Major money problems are introduced where none existed. The joy is sucked out by the needless and stupid intrusion, and the relationship stagnates to the point where adultery is likely. This is suppressed with disfellowshipping threats. And the prospect of divorce is thwarted when the hounders threaten that they will not be allowed to remarry. All the result of Jehovah being in their business.
The Watchtower society has to keep up appearances before it's members. They have the troof so life inside the organization must be better then it is in the outside world. If they told the real truth, the rank and file might start thinking they are not in "God's organization".
SOME sheesh I remember alot
I think this religion provokes marital strife, particularly in this modern age.