by varian 20 Replies latest jw friends

  • varian

    it´s me again....and yes, i´m still alive.

    first of all: i am really sorry for causing some trouble lately. i had the intention of taking an overdose the other day. to be perfectly honest, i was drunk out of my mind when i wrote my last post, and someone i knew gave me all kind of pills to take. well anyway, i survived just about and woke up 2 days later with my face in my own vomit. so it was a pretty mess.

    i was frustratet and depressed i suppose, but i don´t want to do that again. it wasn´t to pay attention to myself, i just wanted someone to get the things off my chest. so once again, i am very sorry.

    and to outlaw, my friend: you can´t drink beer when you´re dead. how right you are....

    thanks for all the kind posts and advices. god bless you all. varian

  • yknot

    NO trouble at all ........ leaving the WTS often causes a person to experiences stages of grief!

    All that matters is you are alive and back!

    Try and keep 'involved' on the board and talking about things and interacting until you have completed all the stages!

    I am just so HAPPY to see you posting again!

    Love and Huggles with all of my heart!!!!

  • only me
    only me

    I'm happy you're okay.

    Listen to Yknot's wise advice. We are here for you.

  • littlebird

    Glad you're back. Leaving the wt sets us through a range of emotions and it is good to have people to talk to. I dont think anyone can really understand what we go through, unless they've been a witness. Hang in there!

  • mouthy

    Well now this is GRANNY!!!! Do you know mate!!!! My prayers for you were heard.
    I should send you to your room, But I wont cos you get up to mischief there
    Please remember when most of us find out we were in a cult,we feel like ending it
    I felt like that also. BUT!!!! you should think of all the people you can help now
    Dont booze up anymore!!!!! You hear me???? I know outlaw is a naughty boy!

    But we will transform HIM before HE kicks the bucket i am sure
    So please STAY WITH US.
    " Thank you LORD JESUS for awaking this friend of ours to the life of the living
    We his friends were concerned about him,but we should have known you were
    answering all the prayers, good thoughts, karma, that was being sent his way
    Thank You again In Christ I pray " Amen.

  • tec

    Happy to know you are okay. Stay with us and talk or vent all you need to.


  • AGuest

    Dearest Varian... peace to you! First, thank you for checking in. I don't usually get "involved" with posters whose first one or two posts are "catch me, I think I'm falling" in nature. Very little one can do under those circumstances. Funny, though... I have been wondering over the past few days if you were okay... what eventually happened. I did not respond to your post because, frankly, it kind of upset me. I mean, no one knew you or where you were and so felt totally helpless. I know I did. Which is a horrible feeling in and of itself. I held my post because... well, I didn't think asking you not to put the kind folks here through such an ordeal (which I feared you might) was probably not the best "advice" to give you at the time. All I could do is pray for you, which I did. I hope you're here as a result of that.

    Just so you know, 90% of the folks here are very loving. 95% are very forgiving. 99% understand what you went through. So you should be okay, no worries, now, about what you put some of us through. A personal favor, though, please? Try not to do it again? I know that may be lot to ask and so I would also ask that you (1) shoot Simon/Lady Lee... or someone here that you come to trust over a little time... your phone number, and (2) call the Hotline (someone posted the number) if you can't do that but start feeling that "falling" feeling again. You don't even have to tell them your name. Just say, "Hey, it's me, Varian, and although I don't intend to ever go through/do that again... you never know so, if I do, give 911 this number." No one will judge you for doing that. Personally, I think Simon should have EVERYONE'S contact number, by avatar at least, just in case "something" does happen to someone. Someone could fall... there could be a poster that none of us have heard from in awhile that needs checking on... who knows. Or Armageddon could come. No, seriously, not everyone has someone outside of the board (well, maybe a JW someone or two, but sometimes that doesn't matter); some are truly alone in this world in a family/friends kind of way.

    But I am very glad to know you're okay. I can put my fears to rest as can some others. So, thank you for checking in and giving us an update. And keep in mind that although we most probably all will die at some point... we have the privilege of doing a whole lot of living before we do. Take advantage of that... while you still can.

    Again, peace to you. Seriously and sincerely.

    A slave of Christ,


  • cofty

    So pleased to hear your OK. I have often wondered how you were since that post.

    Now please start doing stuff that makes it less likely you will go there again.


    Hang on in there Varian.

    Life can be hard at times and making changes is often a painful process but life is always worth living. There's not much else you can do with it!

    Try getting out and walking. It may help to lift your spirits and get you outside of yourself and any negative thoughts. I like to feed some ducks that live on a pond that go to when I need to think things through.


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