When my jw dies should I go to the service at the hall ?

by Hairyhegoat 23 Replies latest jw friends

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  blondie

  Many death services have a visitation component in a funeral home. You can see the people you want and talk and won't be subjected to a jw sermon. As far as I know even df'd people can go to funerals at the KH. The sermon is short, no longer than 1/2 hour.

  Personally, I don't go. See the person while they are alive not when they are dead. Be sure to send a sympathy card with a little note to family. I found as a jw that few in my congregation sent a card to us or our non-jw family. Something the non-jws were quick to point out to us from a supposedly superior loving religious group.
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  Violia

  I have not read all the comments but I say go to the funeral. Don't sink to their level. He is your father and I really do believe that thing about respecting your parents. I realize their are some exceptions.
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  I quit!

  After reading all of the comments I came to the conclusion that everyone has a valid point. How we handle these ridiculous situation the Watchtower creates is all very individual. As RosePetal said "It is all very surreal". I'll add mean spirited and insane.

  I've only gone to one JW funeral. My sister-in-law's. That was the only thing that got me back in a KH for over 25 years. I attended because I was still very close to her and her children even after I left the WT. The talk was given by my wife's cousin who is an elder. Both him and his wife will talk and visit with me so I have somewhat of a normal relationship with them. At least as much as I can have with all the awful circumstances the Watchtower seems so eager to create. Under most circumstances I wouldn't go and I sure they wouldn't want me there. I'm already dead to them and that is fine with me although I should add they are much mistaken.

  A lot of Witnesses that I was friends with in the past have died since I left and I only hear about their deaths through the grapevine. Sometimes I don't learn of their deaths till years after the fact. Everytime I hear of one of their deaths I think about how they expected to not die but live forever in a paradise that was to arrive within their lifetime. I think of how these people were tricked into wasting their lives slaving for an cult when they could have done something worthwhile with their life. I guess in my head I sort of have my own little memorial service for them and throw another scoop of dirt on the grave of the Watchtower.
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  letarottenthingnotbementioned

  In life never stoop to anothers lower level period. This is about respect for your father and whatever your beliefs are in a higher being a funeral/memorial/celebration of life whatever you want to call it is about that person not about the rest of the family. It is about showing respect for the person who died. I went to my father's memorial and I am glad I did.

  There is also nothing wrong with someone coming up to you to give their condolances either. YES you heard me thats right. They wont get into a long conversation with you but it is perfectly fine to tell the D'ffd person "I am sorry for your loss." Or something similiar. I have seen this done with a friend of mine when his grandma had her memorial at a KH, and also with a relative in a different hall.