Hello Everyone

by Retrovirus 19 Replies latest jw friends

  • Retrovirus

    I have lurked for a few weeks, and gathered that a bit of background is expected; understandably. I'm from a reasonably dysfunctional family, and my brother married a really nice lady who was "studying" with the JWs. Over the years I saw this independent, funny lady change. She had always known her own mind, but increasingly, everything needed to go her way. The marriage struggled, but I really admired how they both tried to keep it together for the kids.

    My own marriage was over, and my family treated me as if it was a communicable disease. My SIL and I kept in touch; I'd always liked her.

    Then the brother and SIL broke up, with some bitterness. I could relate to that, and kept in contact. At this point she began to write mainly about JW beliefs; apparently my brother had requested that she didn't preach to family before as she obeyed the head of the family.

    She also got the local JWs to visit. They wanted to "discuss the Bible"; for my SIL's sake I was willing to listen. Two problems now; I hadn't realised how lonely I had become, and the literature they brought; well I believed that it just wasn't well researched. I didn't want to tell them outright that it was full of misdirection at best.

    Finally I pointed out a really bad case; calling Francis Hitching an "authority" to support their argument. The JW lady, this time supported by her husband, sternly told me that the argument was still valid. I disputed that also. They promised to check, and left. Haven't seen them since. My SIL has also stopped writing.

    I know I need to branch out and find new interests apart from work now that I've raised the children, and am doing that. What I can't understand is that these people, who I really believe are honest folk, could be so dishonest as to distribute untruths and refuse to check when it's pointed out.

    Thanks to this site and Jwfacts, I'm beginning to realise that what I thought was just another religion, is more dangerous than that.

    I still hope that my ex-SIL will be freed someday, but don't think it probable. If there is anyway I could help to make that happen, I hope to learn it.

    Happy Christmas and peace to all, Retro

  • asilentone

    Welcome to the board!

  • yknot

    You ask 'leading'questions....... questions that 'lead' them to the 'truth about the Truth'

  • wasblind

    Welcome Retro

  • Hairyhegoat

    Welcome and it's great to here your story, Just have fun and forget about the JW'S. We have and it's about to bring our stand on all of this out in the open. And we couldnot care less. Bollocks to all the family who are shunning us , and hello to you all on this site you are my family now


  • RosePetal

    Hi Retro welcome so glad you were not taken in, thanks for sharing your story. I hope you will be able to help your SIL to start thinking for herself. It's interesting how you said you noticed her changing over the years. Being a JW supresses and controls you. I found it such a freeing experienced when my mind finally left. You can leave physically but it is not until you are mentally free that you really leave.

    Thats why I like coming here because only others that have been JW's really understand what that is like. I hope you can understand and learn from everyone here.

    Look forward to hearing your thoughts.


  • Satanus

    It's always good to take it slowly, w jws. Don't hit them w too many points at once, or they entrench and shut down what's left of their minds.

    "What I can't understand is that these people, who I really believe are honest folk, could be so dishonest as to distribute untruths and refuse to check when it's pointed out."

    Good question, hard to explain. I suppose it's a kind of mental engineering that the stream of wt information in the magazine studies, public talks and assemblies does to the mind of a jw. Guess, i used to be like that, when i was in. After yrs of seeing how it didn't actually work to make me happy, it wore thin, and things worked out so i could leave. Glad you didn't get sucked in.


  • BabaYaga

    Welcome, Retrovirus!

    Some very helpful books: Steven Hassan's "Combatting Cult Mind Control" and more importantly his "Releasing the Bonds" which is more for getting loved ones out of a mind-control situation.

  • palmtree67




  • mouthy

    Welcome Retro. I was so pleased to hear you say they left you alone.I wouldn't have when I was a JW
    for 25 years ...I would have hung on for dear life .I would have twisted that mind of yoursThank God
    they didnt come back because it truly is a very bad cult. Yes I believe most of the followers are decent

    people but it is NOT the truth by any means ,I believe it is worse than Jonestown.Or Koresh.
    because you dont see the dying off the witness ,it is one here one there DAILY!!!

    Just enjoy life & be happy your kids escaped that teaching ....Good for you

    http://exjw.weebly.com/ Hope you keep coming back your among friends


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