[Drama introduction music]
[Brothers move out podium, replace it with a couch, love seat, and a television on a bench. Two teenage girls, who can best be described as jailbait for worldly people, watch an objectionable program together.]
TV [seductive female voice]: Next on "Vein Love..."
Jason: How I love you, Jezebelle...If only I could give up my cravings for blood....we could be together....but then...I would become human....vulnerable...
Jezebelle: Never fear, Jason, for I've asked the demon gods to make me into a fairy, so that we can be together...always!
[Romantic music; Edmond walks in]
Edmond: Jezebelle! [Baring vampire teeth] What is this? You're with him?? [Takes off shirt to reveal chiseled body] Well, guess that means I'm gonna have to show you who sucks best...
Jailbait JW#1: Oooooh! I can't wait to see what happens next!
Jailbait #2: Mmmm...that Edmond is sooo tasty! He can suck any part of me, anytime he wants!
Elder Dad: Hi girls. What are you watching? [Looks at TV] What is this???
Jailbait #1: Oh, it's nothing, Dad, just..."Vein Love".
Elder Dad: "Vein Love"? What's it about? These people look...I don't know...almost demonic.
Jailbait #2: Daaad! It's just a TV show! It's a love story!
Elder Dad: Are those....vampire teeth? That looks like the occult! I'm sorry, girls, I'm going to have to turn this off. It's not appropriate for you to be watching.
Both Jailbaits [in unison]: Awww!! Right at the good part!
Elder Dad [sitting down]: Lisa, Jennifer...can we talk for a moment?
Jennifer [the cuter one, fits into a spaghetti strap dress quite nicely, you've seen her at the conventions, brunette, blue eyes, hot as fire?]: Sure, Dad. What's up?
Elder Dad: I think we should have a talk about what kind of entertainment you're choosing.
Lisa [also pretty hot, raven-hair, brown eyes...surrounded by fringe male publishers who will be getting DF'd within the next year or so]: Dad, we know what we're doing. We're old enough to make decisions for ourselves now.
Jennifer: Yeah! It's just TV. It's not like we're actually doing anything wrong.
Elder Dad: That may be true, girls, but perhaps you've forgotten how Jehovah feels about the occult. Now, now--hear me out. Do you think God approves of people who drink the blood of others?
Lisa: No, Dad, but...most of the time, they don't do that! Jason is trying NOT to be a vampire!
[Cue audience laughter]
Elder Dad: Do you see how far gone your reasoning is? Imagine if the first century Christians reasoned that way about spiritism. Let me share with you a scriptural account of how loyal servants of Jehovah showed their love for him by not letting their eyes become wicked...
[Insert first century account of Christians burning books about spiritism, plus 'worldly' Christian who tries to lure others into attending the gladiator games, then they are discovered as Christians and thrown into the arena to die with their faithful Christian brothers. Moral of story? You'll probably be killed at the theater today if you go to see Twilight--or at home, if you watch True Blood, The Vampire Diaries, etc.]
Jennifer: Wow, Dad. You really helped me to see the need to change my viewpoint. From now on, I'm going to do things Jehovah's way [raises volume of her voice] and NOT LET MY EYE BECOME WICKED!
Lisa: Me, too! Let's get a snack and then study this week's Bible reading!