Cognitive dissonance... help!

by ele_lux 18 Replies latest jw experiences

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  ele_lux

  Something strange (maybe not) is happening to me. When I come here, or get online and find proof that Jehovah's Witnesses are not "the Truth", or when I talk to my brother and REALLY think stuff through, I'm absolutely convinced that I'm doing the right thing by leaving before I get older and waste more of my life.

  But when I'm tired or scared or in some other way not fully active in thought, I still feel guilty and fearful that Armageddon will come and I'll regret this.

  I had expected that the moment I consciously and in use of reason convinced my self that this wasn't the Truth, I'd be mentally free from it. But I still feel its grip on the back of my mind.

  What can I do to get rid of that dissonance (or whatever it's called)?
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  BabaYaga

  Fear is a powerful manipulative force, and it is what you have been immersed in for many years now.

  It takes time. Be good to yourself. Breath deep. Take long walks. Try not to think about it too much... but keep reading.

  I very highly recommend the book "Combatting Cult Mind Control" by Steven Hassan.
  http://www.freeminds-store.com/books/combatting-cult-mind-control.html

  Take it easy. Don't beat yourself up. Believe me... it gets much, much better... and so much easier.

  Love,
  Baba.
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  OnTheWayOut

  I think you are going through something very common to most of us. It's a long process. Once I was sure it was all wrong, I still thought many aspects of WT doctrine were right. Others have feared that Armageddon will get them because they are in WT-Limbo.

  To speed up the process, education is in order. If you are up to reading them, Steve Hassan's books, COMBATTING CULT MIND CONTROL and RELEASING THE BONDS; EMPOWERING PEOPLE TO THING FOR THEMSELVES are helpful along with Ray Franz's books, CRISIS OF CONSCIENCE and IN SEARCH OF CHRISTIAN FREEDOM.

  Even without those books, or along with those books, try reading stuff at jwfacts.com and freeminds.org. Here on JWN, there's a best-of section that might help.

  Eventually, you will fully realize that your WT-implanted fears are just nothing. But all the reassurances from us won't automatically change that. Even with all the reading, it will take time for your mind to let go of old thoughts. One great thing that helps is knowing that Armageddon, according to Watchtower, was supposed to come in 1914, 1915, 1918, 1925, the 1940's, the 1950's, the 1980's, before the 1914 Generation died out, before the 20th century ended, any minute now. It never came all those other times, so WTS has never ever been right, not one single time.
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  ele_lux

  I'll definitely get that book BabaYaga, thx.

  So I can be confident that my problem has everything to do with mind control and nothing to do with the Witnesses being right?
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  ele_lux

  OTWO - I've known about those wrong predictions for a long time now. My brother (who is now married and an active MS) and I used to be really into old WTS history. But even now, I get thinking "although unlikely, what if the 'gradual light' explanation IS true? then those changes are natural and even expected...."
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  Scully

  It takes time to undo decades of meticulously implanted thought control. The WTS creates a phobic state that is exacerbated when you are under stress (fearful, anxious, etc.) - this is true of any phobia - the way the fear is amplified when you are stressed happens whether you are afraid of spiders, being trapped in an elevator or Armageddon.

  The way professional counsellors help people with phobias deal with their heightened anxiety is to guide them through the anxiety over and over and over until the person learns to cope with the anxiety and the thoughts that are going through their heads during a state of phobia-induced panic.

  You can have all the rational information that convinces you that the WTS is a crock of crap, but fear of Armageddon is big, and the WTS deliberately planted those fears in JWs to keep them hooked on the belief system. They won't go away all by themselves. It can take years to deal with on your own.

  I was out for almost 6 years when 9/11 happened. That's when all the Armageddon thoughts started flooding back to me. I needed to know that I wasn't the only one going through this kind of mental drama... a few weeks later, I found this site. That was over 9 years ago.
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  BabaYaga

  Ele Lux said:

  So I can be confident that my problem has everything to do with mind control and nothing to do with the Witnesses being right?

  No. You can't be confident... yet. But give it time. You will indeed be confident someday soon. It does take time to work out the tightly yanked psychological knots that have been there for so many years.

  Peace to you as you find your way!

  Love,
  Baba.
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  Ding

  Lux,

  For some reason there was no window where I could respond to your cognitive dissonance thread, so I startedd to you.

  Now this window opened up, so I'm repeating my response here.

  The "what if the Watchtower is right after all" fears you're experiencing are quite normal.

  The WTS has spent years programming fear of Armageddon into us along with the fear that outside the organization there's no truth and no hope.

  Those fears don't just disappear overnight.

  Reprogram yourself.

  One thing that helps is reading and rereading Crisis of Conscience, especially the chapters about the false prophecies and doctrinal flip-flops.

  Reading photocopies of the WT publications he cites also helps.

  The point of that is to keep reminding yourself over and over that the WTS is completely untrustworthy.

  At the same time, do your own Bible study in context.

  Start with the NT and take your time.

  Decide for yourself what it really teaches.

  If you want to PM me about anything, feel free.
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  ele_lux

  Most of you probably haven't heard, but Mexico, particularly big cities like the one I live in, have become horribly insecure due to drug traffic in the past 2-3 years. Every single day you hear of dead bodies found all over the place, big gunfights taking place on main avenues at rush hour, granades killing civillians in parks.... And it's the first time in ages that things have gotten this bad. So you can imagine my mom and every other witness going off on how Armageddon in imminent now.

  I tent to believe societies, just as individual humans, are a rollercoaster of great times and horrible times, so I expect things to get better at some point, but everyone else around me (Witnesses) keep saying it won't and all of this will only lead to Armageddon. Of course that would have to be only mexican Armageddon because I don't think the rest of the world is having such a hard time, but regardless, I live here and deal with the psycological pressure every day.

  Do you guys feel like things are getting worse at a global scale, or is it just our ant view of things?
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  Watchtowers Witnesses

  Fear is a very powerful tool that can be used to manipulate people. That’s one of the reasons why you see it used by so many different cults. “The End is Near!!! Only those in our special little club will be saved!!!”

  What you’re feeling is part of a normal process. How many years did you attend indoctrination sessions at the Kingdom Hall? How many years have you been surrounded by other people who have also been indoctrinated into the JW belief system? It takes time to undue that kind of “programming”. If you had been raised as a Moonie, Scientologist, Amish or Mormon you would be going through the same thought process right now. In the back of your mind you would be wondering what if the Moonies, Scientologists, Amish or Mormons are “right”.