Sorry I don't get on here as much as I need to. I so love the helpful, encouraging, funny things posted on this board. Here is the latest. I had a major break threw with my son today.
My son and I were home today cleaning in his room. He had just spent the night with a friend (a catholic) who dropped him off before they went to church. While chatting about his day finally he asked me (he's 11) why we don't go to meetings anymore (mindfull he didn't say lately).
I haven't discussed our family fading with him. Today was the day. I guess I was just waiting to see how the children took it. Neither of them ever asked to go. But they have said that they miss seeing some of the JW friends there. We haven't gone to the meeting in almost a year. None of the parents of those children have called. We have had on two occasions two elders stop by to check on us. I always smile and thank them for their concern and blame it on being so busy. Which we are. But that is all another story.
Anyways I proceeded to explain to him that it has been mostly my decision and that Dad is giving me sometime to let me think about things. He asked what was bothering me, so I went on to explain that I believe that we need to seperate what is God's will and what is Man's. I went on to explain that somethings that God wants us to do are in the bible. He wants us to preach, but he doesn' t say we have to turn in our time. He wants us to gather together, but he doesn't say several times a week and if you don't then you are looked down upon. I even explained to him the difference in how I grew up and how I am raising him. Such as I couldn't play with my neighbors. I didn't play sports or go after my talents or dreams. He seemed to listen and understand. He is a very thoughtful boy. Goodness I hate this. He then asked me when I began to feel like this. I told him the truth, since I was little. But the turning point for me was very simple. It was a talk given by a member of the GB at a two day Assembly. The brother repeatedly spoke about not touching the loved ones around you. ex: wraping an arm around your husband, placing your hand on your child's head and so on. That it might stumble the ones around you. I know the brother meant excessive petting, but really. I asked my son if he remember what he said to me during that talk. He didn't of course. I explained he leaned over to me and said "Why don't they just keep their eyes closed?" My son laughed and then said he now remembered, because when he said that he remembered that I almost burst out laughing. I think I was really struggling at that point not to get up and cause a scene and walk out with my kids. I went on to explain that the talk was the last talk of the meeting. It should be encouraging and building your love for God, not giving us more rules to follow. He seemed to understand that.
He then asked about my family. My Mom and Dad are no longer witnesses and I have three brothers. My parents divorced almost 12 years ago. My mom could no longer handle the stress of being married to a Elder. She faded. My Dad stepped down and eventually faded. Both remarried. Of my brothers-one is disfellowshiped, a second contimplating fading and the third very very structured as a JW. My son knows all this, but then he remembered that when we visited my family, whom we see maybe once a year, my JW brother spent only a few hours with our family and my mom but would not come around the rest of my family. He asked if that was because my mom is no longer a JW. I teared up and had to tell him "yes." Though my brother doesn't know we are fading. I explained that to my son. He immediately understood that his Uncle was avoiding the rest of the family because of the JW Doctrine. I choked up a bit. My son says "Mom, how about we take a break and go eat some lunch." Good Kid.
I had a hard time holding it together for a few minutes. Thankfully one of my son's silly neighborhood friends showed up. They ran off to play together.
Really should my son have to worry about issues like this. I hate that I didn't fade years ago. Now I have to drag my children through this. No child should have to worry about anything like this. UGH.
