Dealing with Shunners

Hairy Harr

It was kind of fun yesterday when I was in line at the local coffee house. A "sister" came up and stood in line right next to me. Now, my Ex is Df'd and I am probably "bad association", but technically they should not shun me because I never got dunked. Spent 40+ years growing up in it, supporting them, attending meetings, etc., but never did the dive. Anyway, I turn to see this woman just as she turns to see me face to face. She gives me a glazed-over smile like she's looking thru me and then turns away. This is a woman who me & the Ex have socialized with in the past quite often. This has happened many times before but not this close. Usually there is a comfort zone where both parties agree to ignore each other. My therapist says I should confront them with pleasant greetings but I cannot bring myself to. So anyway, I'm steaming. I pay for my coffee and a young lady who works there, but who is off duty invites me to her table close to the register. She begins the chit-chat but then sees I'm kinda pre-occupied looking at this woman. She asks me if something is wrong. I say, "Yeah, kinda, see that woman there by the counter?" She nods. I then proceed to tell her in laughing way that she is shunning me. The girl expresses disbelief so I continue to say..."yes she's a member of an organization that shuns people they don't like...very loving don't you think?" "That's terrible", the girl says. Since I said it in a very normal voice several other people around us heard and looked at the "sister". It was plain to see that she became very uncomfortable with the "looks" she got and hastily left. I think I may have stumbled onto a way to deal with these assholes. Don't confront them. Let everyone around them know what they are doing and if there are any firefighters or construction workers in the area, let it be known that they do not support the United States in the war on Terrorism. It's time to make them squirm!
HH

terafera

Let everyone around them know what they are doing and if there are any firefighters or construction workers in the area, let it be known
that they do not support the United States in the war on Terrorism. It's time to make them squirm!

Hairy, I almost bust a gut trying to picture this!! I think you did a hella good job at the way you handled it. You made HER to look like the freak, instead of her making YOU feel like one!!

*high five*

Scully

HairyHarr

You did great!! I'm so proud of you!!

Love, Scully

It is not persecution for an informed person
to expose a certain religion as being false. - WT 11/15/63

A religion that teaches lies cannot be true. -WT 12/1/91

Hairy Harr

TeraFera & Scully...
Thanks for the kudos and yes it kinda makes up for all the other times that I've slinked away. I think this technique might work well when they are in numbers too, such as the infamous Saturday morning coffee breaks when they Group-Shun you. I'm sure there are many others on this board who have had similar experiences and maybe got a little satisfaction in the way they have responded.
HH

Satanus

Hairy

You are such a wicked worldly satanicly controled opposer of jehovahs name people. I'm proud of you! You must be demonised. heh heh

SS

Scully

HairyHarr:

Even though I'm not DFd or DAd, I have been treated by JWs as though I am. The way I find to be the most effective in dealing with it has been like this:

You see Brother or Sister StuckUp in a very public place, people milling all about. Without hesitation, walk up to her and give her a BIG HUG!! Say "Oh it's so NICE to see you!! It's been such a long time."

Of course, they are going to bristle and stiffen up in response to your affectionate greeting. You back away, slightly bewildered.... then a knowing, surprised look comes over your face as you say: "I had no idea you'd been disfellowshipped. I never would have imagined!! YOU!!??!! I'm so sorry!!!" Then turn on your heel and walk away.

Reverse psychology works amazingly well!

Love, Scully

It is not persecution for an informed person
to expose a certain religion as being false. - WT 11/15/63

A religion that teaches lies cannot be true. -WT 12/1/91

LB

Scully like you I am not DAed or DFed and get treated as though I am. It can be frustrating at times. We took one families daughters with us to Maui a couple of years ago. They shun us as though we were murderers.

Lately I've started saying a big HI to any witness I see in a store, which is the only place I'll run into them. It's enjoyable to see their reaction. Many act as though they didn't see me at first.

I do like your idea though. It would really get them going wouldn't it? What fun.

Never Squat With Yer Spurs On

Skeptic

I love this, I truly do. I am fortunate, no JW shuns me except my brother. Here is how my brother is handled, but first, the family history.

My nephew DAed himself. He was raised as a Dub, and cooperates fully with the shunning policy. As you know, family events in a mixed Dub/non-Dub family are few and far between. So, when JWs are allowed to attend a family event, the non-JW family is quite eager to have them.

The problem is inviting the DAed nephew to such events. If he attends, the JWs won't. (Even as a JW, I thought this was stupid, we could just attend and not talk to him...he never made trouble for JWs...I lived too far away for these events.) Anyway, to avoid trouble, he would always stay away. The non-JWs always felt bad, as they wanted his company.

When I left the JWs, at the next family event I was to attend (my mother's funeral), I asked my worldly relatively want they wanted me to do. They told me they were so sickof JWs ruining family events. We decided that I should attend and if the JWs don't like it, they can stay away. They told me they wanted the JWs to have to stay away and have the consequences of the shunning, not me or my nephew.

So, I attended the funeral, and all the JWs showed up expected my brother. He had "car trouble" and could not attend. The rest of the JWs are a little cold, but they do not shun me. My JW niece is just as friendly as ever. Religion, of course, is a topic that cannot be discussed.

Richard, who thinks JWs should have to put up with the results of their shunning.

Hairy Harr

Scully...that sounds like fun too, I may try it. I'll let you know.
SaintSatan...yes it's true, I've been demonized for some time, mostly by JW's!
I have another great little story about a local elders wife that got drunk and drove thru a Mexican Restauarant at over 100 mph, wiping it out. She was arrested. Had just been Df'd. I ran into her at a local pub where she was outside smoking...tried to be nice to her and well I'll save the rest of the sickening story for later but to tease you a little, she did tell me how Jehovah saved her life in the accident and...oh it's too late, I'll save it for later.
HH

kpax

When they see me they look like they have seen a ghost!
I am not a ghost!

Kpax

Dealing with Shunners

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